I
Two wiener dogs and their owners so proud
Approached each other right there on the green.
Then, the hounds commenced at yapping so loud.
But that wasn’t the dangdest thing I’d seen.
One of them’s front bit the other one’s butt.
At once, the other one’s front did the same.
This baffling case was not open and shut.
Those who saw it didn’t know who to blame.
I can’t believe what I saw on the lawn,
Because it all happened there so neatly.
In an instant, both yaps and dogs were gone -
They had devoured each other completely.
II
Don’t listen to that fool - I’m his brother.
I saw the wieners who had no muzzle.
He tells the wrong stumper, there’s another -
Quite a different confounding puzzle.
One ‘et t’other, while t’other et the one.
Which was out, which was in, no man could tell,
But there remained but one, not two or none.
One endured; one, a sadder fate befell.
III
Don’t listen to them, I’s little sister.
I saw what really happened, if you please.
There warn’t none, nor one, but two left, mister,
But uncommon strange, they switched identities.
Categories:
wieners, dog, math, surreal,
Form: Quatrain
non notables
same is to same old
repeat offenders
nothing new
back scratch revenues
old poets club.
canned scriptures
wasted words
post mortem phrases
casket contusions
dead dendrites.
old poet network news.
boring, blatant, bygones,
corporeal cripples.
Categories:
wieners, abuse, betrayal, confusion, death,
Form: Free verse
We have a brand new fire pit.
The ring is four feet wide.
Perfect for a Fall evening!
Cast iron and two feet high,
a present for hosting warmth.
Perfect for family and friends!
We have deadfall from the storms
and stumps hewn for seating.
Perfect for talk and cheer!
Bring your favorite beverage and food.
We have cozy blankets to cuddle.
Perfect for singing and laughter!
The neighbors see the flames
and bring their contributions.
Perfect for games and camaraderie!
Mom made hot potato salad and slaw.
Sally’s dad made ribs, and chili beans
Perfect for wieners and brats!
And so we sing and play and eat
and tell a few ghost stories, too.
Perfect night to have some fun!
Come join us for our bonfire!
Categories:
wieners, autumn, family, fire, food,
Form: Free verse
What gets me out of my art studio?
The urge to urinate, to eat, or to play word games.
I am a painter who wants to do nothing else during summer.
My husband can testify everything else is second choice.
Including him, but he does not mind.
He is also obsessive, and understands it well.
He should. We have been together for fifty-five years.
The dogs are in there with me, sleeping with great flatulence.
When a delivery man comes, they try to deliver to us.
Because they can see me; I am behind a glass wall in the back of my garage.
I shake my head “no” and point to the porch
While the dogs are barking as if they are going to tear him up.
I call my husband and tell him about the package.
If I don’t, the big puppy will get to it first and rip it to bits.
Oh, wait, and food.
Food will get me out of my studio.
Sweet foods like cinnamon rolls and cherry pie
And salty foods like potato chips.
My husband also makes me sweet beans with wieners.
I blame my flatulence on the dogs.
Categories:
wieners, art, sun,
Form: Personification
I always thought that yesterday
was just a time of day
But now I know that yesterday
is just what passed away
When wieners from the day before
are there to live their lives
Like Betty White and all her light
to give the day to wives
And all they eat are wieners for
a life to go onto
When all their rage to be on stage
is time that will undo
And bring them to a present
that will entertain right through
And have you laugh at Golden Girls
when other wieners do
Categories:
wieners, analogy, appreciation, blessing, celebrity,
Form: Quatrain
A private party I did throw for dignitary friends
I served wieners in a can with little toothpick jabs
It was Victor who did name me, inside his little lab
calling me his Frankenstein, as the name portends
When I sidestepped to and fro with a shuffle shoe
they roared like Leaders running out of hoo ba loo
they talked in circles rings and peels, "legal Time"
clawing at their mixes like greedy Serpentines
I joined the navy suits with ties as straight as God
self contained in secret, they never knew my crime
they called me awful names, a horrid selfish clod
but when my mask came off, all they did was nod
One by one I wooed them, with my monster talk
vigilant and bright at the caucus party romp
syrupy and cool with a gait upon my walk
I devoured everyone, including Donald Trump.
August 21, 2021
Categories:
wieners, anti bullying, anxiety, corruption,
Form: Rhyme
Hot dogs, wieners, tube steaks, or any other name,
it's the traditional fare sold at any ballgame.
This long pink sausage in an elongated soft bun
is something that is a treat and a lot of fun.
Dress it up with mustard, relish, onions, et cetera.
Nothing's more popular in the United States of America.
Inspired by a poem written by Gershon Wolf.
Categories:
wieners, america, food,
Form: Rhyme
It was supposed to be
A simple snowshoe expedition
Nothing glamorous or too exciting
But the day started out magnificent
Gloriously sunny and mild
Ideal for newbies and amateurs
It felt like a girl guide outing
Average age was ten
The trail was awesome
Breathtaking on either side
Snow covered bushes as far as you could see
Glistening sprinkling of fairy dust
And here we were single file
A line up of coloured tuques and snowsuits
Getting acquainted with our snowshoes
Making our imprints with every step
What a surprise awaiting around the corner
A huge bonfire
Who would have guessed
Roasting wieners on a branch
Best lunch we ever had
A most magical marvelous memory
When all was done and said
Nothing left but light fluffy snowflakes
Caressing the last few remaining embers
AP: Honorable Mention 2021
Submitted for contest EMBERS AND SNOWFLAKES sponsored by ANTHONY SLAUSEN - January 2, 2018
Categories:
wieners, adventure, fire, nature, nostalgia,
Form: Free verse
Trumpelstiltskin is a fairy tale
not written by the Brothers Grimm.
It’s written every day by Fox and CNN.
America hears it every hour
and half the nation loves it
but the other half hates it.
Let’s remember though
we Americans will never know
what might have been.
Had the vote gone otherwise
Bill would be in the White House
and all the interns on the run.
Private server Huma would be
grilling wieners for the press.
Golly Gee, you say, that sounds
like a lot of fun.
For Fox and CNN, yes.
Not so Hillarious for us.
Donal Mahoney
Categories:
wieners, political,
Form: Blank verse
I am going to present a bit of history:
It happened a while ago in South Philly.
A hot dog vendor ran out of wieners one day.
He wasn't able to get a new supply right away.
On that day, he invented something neat.
Down to the butcher shop he went to get some chipped meat.
He grilled it up nicely, and put it on rolls.
Decades later, it's something the public extols.
Melted cheese and fried onions makes it especially great.
I'm in the mood for a cheesesteak, and I can hardly wait.
inspired by another member's poem
Categories:
wieners, food, history,
Form: Rhyme