where does this put me,
when everything that clears the blur,
is actively trying to kill me.
I'm running in all directions,
since it was always all or nothing.
your frostbitten lies,
my golden glow,
the half-truths I tell myself,
to fall asleep at night.
I'm burning under fluorescent lights,
and it all feels ok, in that artificial heat,
until I realize,
it will only get brighter and stifling,
until I can no longer breathe.
Tell me how to shine,
without burning.
Tell me how to be a diamond in their eyes,
without breaking under their gaze.
Tell me how to fly,
without falling.
Tell me how to dream,
without waking up.
"Does he love me?
No, for he never told me so.
It was all in my mind,
Neglecting the signs,
As if I'm blind.
I'm accepting it now,
'Cause if his love was true,
Doubt won’t linger, but it grew.
If he truly cared, he would have shown,
And now, I would not be alone.
It's been so long, yet I am still dreaming.
My silent tale has come to its ending.
I was never loved; there, I chose to speak the truth.
Finally, I'm wide awake."
The Laws of time seem elastic
In the long insomniacal night
That expands into an eternity
With no end seemingly in sight.
It’s half past Wednesday week
By the real world’s steady clock
But in the land of the sleepless
A time check can bring a shock.
Although it seems so many hours
Since you looked to check it last
In the strange fugue of insomnia
Just forty second have passed.
Bleary eyed and wakeful
Almost begging for sleep
Each long expanded moment
Is enough to make you weep.
The clock clicks back to normal
When it’s finally time to rise
To go and face the world
Through sleep deprived eyes,
Fighting off that urge to doze
Until that longed for hour when
It’s time crawl back into bed and
Snap back to wide awake again.
And, amazingly, inexorably, inevitably
It’s once again next Wednesday week
Yet it never seems any nearer to that
Blessed sleep oblivion that you seek.
And the laws of space and time
Seem at will to contract and expand
As they hold a body in their thrall
In wide wake and sleepless land.
It isn’t a dream when you feel wide awake
There’s only so much of this world I can take
It pulses through my veins, I’m starting to shake
Like a dream and a nightmare, but I’m wide awake
Not a dream nor a nightmare, cause I’m wide awake
Bite Size Poem no.43 Poetry Contest
Fn->spacebar lights my keyboard
So I can see the keys to score
Wanted placement in the game of poetry
Top links in line so I'm not ignored
Little mouse help route my cursor
So more corrections makes things less worser
Oh I miss my pen and eraser
And the days I was an ardent curser
But today I let the keys do the tapping
While my mind is set a rapping
And the computer seems to do more work
As I'm just here wide-awake napping
Sweet precarious slumber...
I am night falls eager muse
daylights withdrawn fiend
consuming my once heavy lids
yet--
the sleeping draught has plagued me
just as before.
If I’m quiet long enough,
I can hear the lingual effects
like listening to a voice
that won’t stop speaking
even after my tongue
has long since been tucked in for the night.
Mindless music at full volume
can’t block out the noise—
not when the sounds echo from within.
Unwillingly embraced
by the devious dawn,
the raw naked ideas
continuously flowed
like regurgitated thoughts
on the coffee-stained pages
of my frayed little notebook.
Where the pain is not dulled
but worshipped in her wake.
Lyrical blood-flowing bliss—
my left hand aflame,
my mind twice my own.
A figurative love affair
with artistic expression
playing hide-and-seek
among the salient words
lost once again—
wide awake—
in Eden’s articulate garden.
Contest: What's in a title in 14-20 lines Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Date: April 29, 2021
Clattering coins
forcefully flung
inside a fragmented glass jar,
doleful howls full of misery, woe
nocturnal creatures arise,
rapid rotations,
continual tornados
tedious echos beneath
a derelict railway tunnel,
nefarious lightning
strikes the thunder,
rolling immensely enraged
she roars fighter jets in fury,
disturbed bees, swarming their hive
stalking, terrorising, pestering
a solo stone plunges
down a bottomless well,
belligerent twangs
upon a jilted ukulele,
these were her hunger pangs,
which fed her insomnia at night.
A wide awake snooze made me scream
Held me in the clutches of a well-earned dream.
An elephant in pajamas came running up fast.
He pushed me aside, and made the sign of a bast.
A wide awake snooze held me captive in my head.
I thrashed and I crashed,, and I fell out of the bed.
My dad yelled, "What's that?" But I could not open my eyes.
So I stayed on the floor, curled up with some left over fries.
My snooze was determined to keep my eyes solidly shut.
I fought her for awhile, but soon gave up in my gut.
She was much too strong for me, this wide away snooze.
So I envisioned myself a frog, deciding to stay off the booze.
My impetuous pirate self-jumps up to play
I snarl and yell at her to just go away
She laughs as I hide my hazel eyes from her sight
Her faerie soul knows my heart with all of her might
I try to re-capture my delicious dream so dear
But she settles on my stomach and giggles in my ear
I guess we are writing poetry, I say, with a laugh
She shakes her head, and snorts prettily like a giraffe
Wide awake now with nothing pressing or imperative to do
I jump out of bed and make a swift and sure race to the loo
My pirate heart laughs at my frowny face in the mirror
Glad she has have gotten up, my imagination in gear
Now I see clearly
My sleepy eyes pierced darkness
Dawn's light now shines in
Date written and posted: 03/21/2018
She called out in a loud voice in what was long since then
Remembering back to that choice, what would have been
For now she was all alone with no place to hide that pain
Once the Light had shone, well, feelings are hard to feign
Falling down to her knees, her hands covering her face
She called out her pleas in so asking God for His Grace
And as her tears poured, darkness covering her heart
Feeling so unassured, this being the best place to start
When something came along, a feeling she never had
The feeling of being wrong, but not that she was bad
Clearly seeing her mistake the Lord drawing her near
A soul now wide awake as His Love became so clear
Everyone of us will fall and this being on a daily basis
For life is a very tough haul as you can vouch for this
That is why Jesus had came atoning for every inequity
But by not knowing His Name nor can you ever be free
Psalms 27:8 (KJV)
“When thou saidst, Seek ye my face;
my heart said unto thee,
Thy face, LORD, will I seek.”
You find what you seek.
Unborn Angel same theme, FORGIVENSS
Wide Awake (A Hero's Departure)
I awoke from a dream, a childlike slumber
Perfectly still, as to not let the vision
slip
Within the eyes of a child, a hero was
born
Safe, soft, a beautiful gift
But in moments of deepest despair,
No hero remained, or had existed
at all
(it would seem)
Promises of love fall flat
behind the facades, the fear of fears,
the listless gleam
From the heart of a woman, a hero
was torn
Beautiful eyes, wide awake
Hope of hopes, forlorn
no light and wide awake
i touch you after sixteen hours
and the unrelenting pain
no light and wide awake
i relax as the vibrating
reactions of my touch
send inspiration for short
but sweet slumber to my
mind
no light and wide awake
dread dissipates as my body
rejuvenates and prepares for
the long but essential more of
the same day that keeps me
here in this vibe with you
no light and wide awake
i curse to myself two hours
and some change later as i
fight the determined diorientation
of my sleepiness and begin my quest
for the week's sweet ending
wide awake, wide alive
but i feel so dead inside
cant shake this feeling
i did alright, i did ok
breezed through the
rest of my day
all i have is night
all night
darkness squeezed tight
every night is a fight
the war is raging
come to me
belive in me
hold me close now
rescue me
free me
don't ever let me go now
i've been ok
i've been alright
the dawn is almost in sight
i look to you
you are my redeemer
Alone, isolated in the dark,
In fear and tears she was led.
To a place of night, so stark,
Her innocence taken, she bled.
She'd set out so independent,
So stubborn, to make it on her own.
A trust broken, a love bent,
The love that was never shown.
Now, alone, she cries and weeps,
For the time so wasted and past.
And in the night she does not sleep,
How did the time pass so very fast?
Maybe if I'd told her that I missed her,
If I could have put down my pride,
And admitted my love for my sister,
Maybe if I had just tried.
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