winter is whispering to me
'Be Happy'
my initial attitude is
'be snappy'
then a Lesson From God sneaks up in my ear out of nowhere
'how would you like to be greeted in return'
after wrestling with my thoughts, i chose to try a new and freshly different approach
i returned all greetings with a smile
conversations actually lasted a while
i gained new friends and New Perspectives by the mile
i was introduced to a new song, a new outlook, and a new style
winter is whispering to me
'Look Up and See'
it is then that i wonder more deeply what it would be like to
'Be Me'
then another Lesson From God sneaks up in my ear out of nowhere
how do you define Feeling Free'
so on a count of three
i hit the ground on a trial run degree
i found MySelf Rewarded with unexpected acceptance
gone is my internal feeling of unworthiness and ineptness
Let me introduce myself
My name is suicide
I live in the shadows
Just at the back of your mind
You’ll probably never meet me
Sometimes I'm on posters
Usually in your doctor’s waiting room
You may glance at me
Put me to the back of your mind
That continuous cough
Your main concern today
Sure you’ll get better soon
Now we come to the other guy
I’m at the forefront now
Doesn’t seem to be any alternatives
No introduction needed
No explanation required
Sometimes we have a trial run
Just to see
But really, our mind is made up
The poster stares right at him
Taunting, asking what he’s thinking
What is he thinking
The same thoughts as yesterday
The day before yesterday
Today
Tomorrow
The cough would have responded to antibiotics
But it was never really about the cough.
potato pancakes heavily buttered
cheese grits heavily buttered
leftover corn on the cob heavily buttered
the best buttermilk biscuits ever made not heavily buttered
laughing at things that i was once closed minded to newly discovered
listening to conversations from those previously misjudged newly discovered
acquiring knowledge that i was previously ignorant and oblivious to newly discovered
realizing how beautiful and wonderful opening up my everything to actually is newly discovered
noticing steps are much more smoothly taken without the fearful stutter
discovering a new way of being and accepting without the fearful stutter
finding out that certain things that i was always curious about are not as bad as they seem without the fearful stutter
knowing now that loving her is not as scary as previously pictured in my mind without the fearful stutter
the hole in the street
is a gaping wound
it’s been here
for two months
now
the walls in the house
groan and ache
as the front yard
hides in shadows
the night is an ocean
set in front of me
while sitting at my laptop
i hear a pattering sound
i open the door
and look outside
to see there’s no rain
but restless crickets sing
a street light flickers
dead stars
the tractor factory
down the hill
has been closed
almost forty years
a casino opened
to pick up the slack
but nothing’s the same
i can feel this town
is dying every day
yesterday
i washed dishes
at a diner
three hours for free
a trial run
and didn’t get it
as a second job
the manager says
there are many others
on trial
a light bleeds
through a crack
under a door
in the other room
the roommate
who wants me to move
stirs
Sweet-heart
Can fool you
To really think
What they will be like
One year is not enough
Trial run okay?
Sounds like self-doubts
No pressure
Please choose
You
The DJ shuts the fader by mistake,
yet speaks his words in slick and practised tones,
but doesn’t hear them coming through his ’phones,
berates himself: That’s quite a gaffe to make.
That’s five whole seconds, nothing but dead air.
I’ve dropped a clanger. This is just not done!
The programme’s live, it’s not a trial run.
The punters might retune and go elsewhere.
But more important is that what we give
distracts, amuses, offers light, bright, trite.
Dead air is not an option. Get it right!
They need our pap: it tells them how to live.
Although this little lapse is but a blink,
it might just give the punters time to think.
The bell does toll the death of one,
yet, extols the birth of the new.
Within a blink, it has begun,
the joyful cries, sung out on cue.
May coming days be full of virtue.
The days gone by, a trial run.
Blanketed in a misty hue.
Now a new rainbow is spun,
which, with both feet, we jump into.
May the next twelve months give us peace we're due.
1-10-12
For the contest: Happy New Year
Sponsored by Francine Roberts
I may not understand all the time
But I know people see it plainly
The feelings that others share
Coincide with mine
When it really matters
I see the heart, the center of it all
I desire hers truly
And hoping mine is there too
I don’t know where it all goes
When love leaves the disenchanted
We don’t always feel what’s right
And pain can seep inside
And the feelings go stale
When they’re not in use
But hope rules the single world
So arrange for a trial run
To test and see how the feelings stand
Check up with a close friend
Understand the love needed
And may the heart roll over
To the desires of her heart
Russell Sivey
There is no State of Grace
Let The MapQuest Show
There is no State of Grace
If Found Too Far Below:
The Country on The HighWay
The Continent on The Hills
Or Kingdom in Clouds of Heaven’s Bay
Or UniverseVille
There’s no Express-Praise, City Love-Lane Around
Nor Narrow Road, into a Full-Faith, Truth-Track-Town
Nor National Boulevard, to Hallelujah Glory Bound
Or Global Interstate, Where State of Grace Can Be Found…
… There is no State of Grace
Let The Landmarks Show
There is no State of Grace
… unless You Go…
Up into The Mountain, Pass The Knowledge Tree
Get on Humble Avenue and Knee…
Then, go thru Trial-Run… Look Out Point and None
You’ll See, They Can’t Block Your Way Beneath The Son…
There, You’ll Find, The State Of Grace, and Welcome From…
There, You’ll Find:
The State of Grace, Kingdom Come…
Trial run
He said
I said
We tried
He couldn’t
I didn’t
Goodbye
The first few days, I was just bummed out
I missed my girls, but knew what it was about
Days turned to weeks, phone calls rang through
Hearing they didn't like me, not much I could do
My life went to hell, I drove it there fast
Things are now better, thats all in the past.
The first few visits, the trial run
We warmed up a little, we had some fun
Visiting me in the hospital, quite a surprise
Even at my worst it gave me a rise!
Now the phone calls come 3 times a day,
I hear about school, know what they play.
It's been almost a year, and I wasn't sure
How much pain we all could endure.
But as things get better, i'm excited to say
I'll even get to see them later today!
We'll talk and we'll play, practicing for...
Being the daddy I was was before.
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