Tike Poems

Bike and Beans

I got a mountain bike 
it sits on my side porch
it sits under a torch 
it should go on  a hike 

I got free beans from Mike 
There’s three beans in my  jeans 
That I’ve had since my teens
or since I was a tike 

bought a psych trip to Wyke
I didn’t take my beans
left them on the side porch 
all alone with the bike  

Bike & Beans
Lyricists Inc. 
D.A.P. / Digital Analog Productions
written: 09-30-2022 
David A. Porter

Ladybugs are not so ladylike

Sweet ladybugs are not so ladylike
When frightened by oldster or a young tike
Squirting yellow liquid that tastes horrible and stinks
Putrid smelling, worse than corpses of six rotting minks.

Archibald Mouse

(One for the kiddies!)

Have you heard the latest, kiddies?
Archibald Mouse is confused
He thinks he's a big scary tiger
So no more chewing on shoes!

 But he doesn't have any tiger stripes
He says they came off in the bath
Also says the soap made him shrink
He sure can make people laugh!

He tries to let out a big tiger roar
But all that comes out is a squeak
Archie's been trying so very hard
In fact he's been trying for weeks!

Gotta feel for this adorable little critter
Perhaps there's a blow-up pill
That when he takes it he gets real big
Last I heard he was trying still!

So even if you're just a little wee tike
Remember to keep thinking big
Keep trying hard to better yourself
And you'll wind up dancing a jig!

Rainbow Color Dropping Gnome

Gnarly had the best job of all in the sugar dome.
He was the secret rainbow color dropping gnome.
He came in the night, riding the color on his bike.
The only ones who could see him were the age of a tike.

“Look at the sandman!” the toddlers reported.
The parents studied the sky until their necks were contorted.
But children grow older, and after the age of two.
They forget what they saw, for it is what children do.

Me and My Bike

Two plus hours of joy,
 me and my mountain bike,
  she's a capable toy.

Mz. Betty and her boy,
 with her I am a tike,
  so young and full of joy.

Shouting noisily hoy,  
 unembarrassed childlike, 
  on Johnny's two wheeled toy.

I jump on and enjoy,
 a euphoric like spike,
  bursting with giddy joy.

In charge of my employ,
 I'm outside where I like,
  on my Specialized toy.

Engaging in my ploy,
 flying down the dirt pike,
  as I pedal for joy,
    because I have this toy.
              ~Johnnymac

Grandma Said

Grandma’s blueberry muffins so fancy and fine.
With your crumbled crust, so glad you are mine!
Grubby hands are reaching for a muffin now.
Hands that have pet a goat, a dog, and the cow.

I tell them to go wash their hands instead.
They look at me like I have grown a monkey’s head.
Grandma said we didn’t have to, said a nasty little tike.
A cousin that I’ve never liked, I call him Mike.

Grandma yells in from the living room door.
Just give each a cupcake, my dear Eleanor.
I did not wash my hands either, to get the last one.
Getting one from batch number two is not as much fun.

Naughty Nursery Rhymes

 Mary had a little lamb
The birth was quite a sensation
It should go down in the history books
She needed a lot of sedation

Pinocchio had a very long nose
It grew when telling a lie
Geppetto couldn't keep it from growing
No matter how hard he tried

Three little piggies went tripping along
To the butcher, they were the target
Who was bent on chopping these piggies up
To sell 'em at the local market

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool
Of course the answer is yes
They're sheep, that's a real silly question
Three bags full would be my guess

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
At my age, you must be jazzing me
It's been a long time since I was nimble or quick
Was probably just a wee tike of three

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
The current trend is over eating
No wonder obesity is rampant in the world
Bad habits our kids we've been teaching

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a goat
Mary's been messing with the animals again
Naughty Mary, I here doth quote

We Call Him Silver

Lee rides a silver fish all day long was the report.
We call him Silver, and he is a good sport.
What is a silver fish? I asked my friend Tike.
Not sure, he answered, but it looks like a bike.

Silver Fish is a customized contraption made by Lee
He must purchase a car though, if he wants to date me.
I am not fond of pedaling, I have a bad right knee.
So, Silver and I decided to never a couple be.

Breasts

Finally, I came to know all men don't like breasts
Some say with women's flower are just like spike breasts

Traffic rules should be written on shirts of road girls
Perhaps there'll be no gaze which won't strike breasts

Tonight, I'm going to sleep with hundred fairies
Not just arms - and please don't mind if I so vike - "breasts"

Don't go rough - You ain't only one for me tonight
Many more have them so soft if you have tike breasts

Everyone has one's own choice but I've not special
Ah! brunettes with pinkish lips, young and with kike breasts!

Love in pairs becomes a boring habit at last
It does not increase with age as is unlike breasts

September 19, 2022

Winds of Change

The solar storms are flaring up;
Charged particles assault the earth.
Plasma distorts magnetic fields;
Effects are felt from Nome to Perth.

A syndrome targets human hearts,
Apparently, the brain as well.
Incredulous, the truth departs
Like dolphins, with a fond farewell.

The correlate, a new vaccine,
Not likely to be causing death.
The flares, more likely, it’s been deemed,
To stop the heart and steal the breath.

And too, the temps are on the rise,
Not flares, good guess, but fossil fuels.
The sun, indignant, they surmise,
Fires bow shots at this ship of fools.

If all will simply buy EVs,
Or better yet, a brand new bike,
The land will heal of this disease,
But mask and boost your little tike.

Do they not know a gaslight burns,
Releasing CO2 on high? 
Although it’s likely they’ll not learn,
The winds of change are drawing nigh.

----------

A somewhat tongue-in-cheek poem based on a silly Twitter post from NewScience (or a parody, who knows anymore) suggesting that the
increased Sudden Adult Death Syndrome is attributed to solar flare
activlty... Remember, everything on the interwebs is true :-)

The Garden Came Alive

He was an adorable little tike.
I am not sure which was sweeter– his face or the flowers
As he made a little path the flowers began to dance.
He stopped to touch many of them.
His giggles made the garden come alive.

Boo-Tiful Save

Hans tried this save as a tike -
Episodic finger in the Holland-days dike.
Not afraid to swim.
See-through stranger didn’t spook him.

Friendly Casper scared the boo out of all, 
Spared the scaredy-cats with a window y’all.
They see through the glass magnified fishes.
The aquarium, a dutch treat for all their wishes.

8/30/2021
not for contest

Casper the Friendly Ghost episode: Dutch Treat

A Sunny Tuesday

My fondest memory as a wee one
A photo of me in my snowsuit, cute as a bunny
Maybe I was three
In my mind still can see
A wee tike, the day was Tuesday and sunny

Yester Daze

when young I rarely played alone
many friends visited my home
among the many in my company
were heroes, cowboys. and fantasy

video games and an old arcade
I seldom went but often played
games of chance that tested me
my aim, skill, and tenacity 

I traveled to space riding a cardboard box
took an imagination minus locks
kept butterflies for a little while
with ants for friends in a domicile

then came a steel Erector set
that daddy gave, and I did sit
building cars and Ferris wheel
seeing that as a mammoth deal

riding a birthday bike
I rode the trails of a little tike
traveled the alleys sidewalks and roads
looking for pets like turtles and toads

Grandma Kilroy Takes a Stand

Grandma Kilroy saw what was going down 
Before it went down
She saw those hoodlums 
Big Dee and Tike Face head for the police officer’s car.

Grandma Kilroy told her husband 
Call the police and ask for backup.
He begged her to stay inside, but she was tired
Of staying inside
Of not standing up
Of not being the best woman

And this was her neighborhood.
It was going downhill fast
Because other neighbors were staying inside.
So she went out there
And when the young officer was down,
She said “You have to come through me to finish this.”

Doors began popping open.
Other neighbors came out.
Some were carrying rifles.
Guns she had never seen.
They came to help.
One woman. All by herself,
With the help of the neighborhood
Backed them off.
They ran off, frightened.
And the backup arrived in time before they brought their followers.

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