I never stopped loving you
That’s why I hate you
I really really love you
I really really hate you
I don’t really hate you
That’s how I know it’s love
The only thing I hate
Is I’m not who you’re thinking of
I hate that I love you
When you don’t love me back
Or take into consideration
My dark and ugly past
I know that you’ve been hurt before
I understand your pain
I would hold this umbrella
To shield you from the rain
Even though I know deep down
You wouldn’t do the same
So when I say I hate you
I say it in Love’s name
This heart is what I really hate
The cause of all the pain
I only hate the thought
Of never being your love again
I never stopped loving you
The only one I love
When I said I hated you
I only said it out of love
Being anything but cold is rare for you.
Utterly and shamelessly aloof is but a default setting for you, although could it still be considered ‘aloof’ if it’s on purpose?
Too nonchalant to notice the people around to falling to pieces at your feet.
Too preoccupied with your selfish human desires to take into consideration the karmic tab you’re stacking up, and yet,
Even when you’re paying attention, you’re still somehow... not there.
Ridiculously obsessed with your self-image, just enough to tip off the start to your downfall.
Firmly believing your own lies is the reason you’ve successfully convinced everyone around you of them too.
Living out your deceit, fooling everybody into believing you could be a genuine soul, that you could be authentic – as if you’re a lowlife method actor on the brink of withering away.
You could not fool me, though. I saw right through you and your transparent wings, and you couldn’t handle being seen, oh, how very ‘dear in the headlights’ of you.
I knew you were cold-blooded,
But I never expected you to be a fraud.
What are these points i write about
Where does this all go
Finding words to feelings is a challenge
Blank pages i have gazed apon
Destructive paths all carved by me
A shape lost and unaware
What do these eyes see through coke colored bottles
Blurry and faded is thee past
Present corroded by fear
Take into consideration my journey thus far
An excuse to not trust not open up not talk about all i wish to be
So discouraged so disheartened
Faced with consequences i have manifested
The world my enemy society my dagger
But does that knife need to cut so deep
Do i need to move forward with all this regret
When life has blessed me with all i need
To be rich they say you need to be a millionaire
But a million regrets always adds up to one cent
The sense that you can find true happiness with what you have now
You see the sky may not always be blue
But you can always let your sun shine. Shine through
Even on the darkest days there is always light you just need to see it for yourself
And that my friends is what this man before you is trying to do
See past my darkness to a light that always shines bright for me in some way shape or form.
Why is there so much emphasis put onto education,
Is it true that its the only solid foundation,
Or does it just attract negative frustration,
So many questions and excessive pressure,
What happened to the days filled with pleasure,
You are told to seek knowledge to excell,
Improve your learning and get a degree as well,
To fail is like dropping a massive bombshell,
The assumption that everyone must go to college or to uni,
To access a better future is quite gloomy,
We become disconnected and loose our compassionate veil,
Everyone wanting to succeed is also wanting others to fail,
To gain a stable and well paid job with all its wealth,
We must loose our moral habits to welcome in, ill health,
Forcing a child to receive Adult ideas,
Compelled to devour grown up verbal diarrheas,
Instead of accepting each others strengths and take into consideration a child's wishes,
We loose our minds and our souls become suspicious,
Beliefs and values are good for the heart,
So no one can dictate to you, that you are not SMART.
It's a touchy subject
Kicked around like a ball
As we begin to take into consideration
The meaning of "true love"
We also begin to realize its not a word,
But a feeling.
Just when you think the love of your life
has been captured
By the depth of your heart
They break it.
With what feels like a knife
The same knife
That took your father's life.
Marked on the side
With the name of Jesus Christ.
"I love you"
"Do you love me too?"
Wasting what you think is a good idea
Turns out to be your biggest fear
You'll never want to love again
When that special boy
Shatters all your hopes and dreams
Of ever finding someone who cares
As much as they ever did
Then again, did he ever really care?
Confusion runs through your mind
When you think about all the moments
That you wanted to last a lifetime
With that not-so-special boy
Who broke your heart.