Take A Crap Poems | Examples


Tsunami

I'm dealing with a personal earthquake
 My stomach start to rumble and my knees started to shake 
Their shaking so bad that when I walk it forced my direction to shift
So I walk faster towards my destination
Having crazy thoughts of a tsunami
Yelling 
'EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME I'M COMING THREW!' 
Feeling bad for the people behind me 
As the rumbling continued in my tummy
I realize and thought to myself 
That wasn't an earthquake 
You got to take a crap 
U BIG DUMMY! (N my Fred Sanford voice) 
Now let's see if the Red Cross can help this crisis

Premium Member Everybody Poops

EVERYBODY POOPS!


OH CRAP!!!

I must go see a man about a dog.

Drop a log in he water.

Gotta hurry, its Prairie Doggin’

Cop a squat

Ease the squeeze

Take a crap (or better yet – leave one)

Take a dump

GOTTA POOP!!!


John G. Lawless
6/6/2015


My Decay

first stage

I am decaying
Right in this very moment
Actually tasting, enjoying the very process of it
Shrinking, dehydrating 
Burning some high dangerous levels of vitality
Wasting layers
My body.
Eating its own share of sustainable proteins
Radical speed approach
Passing and pissing time
Withering through an extremely tight and yet scattered carcass.
I’m only being anxious 
And curious 
Hard dealing with my own entropic other one 
Betting on high cards
Dreaming at perfect figures
Of light.

second stage

Trapped in head
Vast no rental charge area
Only life billing
Strange negotiating skills
Refined sand through my teeth
How am I suppose to recognize 
The better 
From myriads?
I choose only to gaze
Very slow and indefinite pace
Edges everywhere
Sadistic sharp corners
Tortuous shades and blinding
Violet lights
Cutting right throughout my clenched bowels.
That’s definitely not a very good moment
Or space
To take a crap and have a smoke.

final stage

There’s never, anything final about it.

Fatter and Fatter

What the hey??
I'M TURNING GREY
please be kind
AND LOCK AWAY
Dorito chips and Pringles too
MY GUT REVEALS and so do you!!

Jello gelatin for my waist
ADVENT AGE to embrace
Who can fight these times,today?
UNFLATTERING HIPS prepare the way

Getting to be an ugly guy
OLD AGE wrinkles and THEN WE DIE!
Trying hard to correct my bladder
But instead..
KEEP GETTING FATTER AND FATTER!!

No longer can I reach my toes
It's what I fear
MY ADVANCING WOES!!

Cookies are a favorite treat
Hot Dog Weenies just can't be beat
This old man now ends his rap
Beg your pardon
WHILE I GO TAKE A CRAP!!

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