New year resolutions ,
Are best made in a new suit of clothes,
With the wind behind you,
Never in front of you,
If you want to make headway,
On a new way,
To keep fun and laughter,
At the centre of every day,
And the blues in a land far far away.
penned in January 2026
He was Santa's unknown Elf
That they hid in a thicket
Cuz he worked all by himself
They called him Chimney Cricket
On the night of Christmas Eve
He's the first one down the chute
Using nothing but his sleeve
So not to soil Santa's suit
When finishing his cookie
Santa's up the chute again
Every day since a rookie
He was Santa's lonely friend
Though he suffered every stain
On his only suit of clothes
Chimney never would complain
Even when it clogged his nose
Santa saw he had no joy
So took pity on his plight
Though he never built a toy
He still vowed to make things right
Thus, he ordered that next year
All the other Elves must sweep
Santa knew they wouldn't cheer
But at least Chimney could sleep
Salesmen groom with flare
Give it a good suit of clothes
For customer care.
We are so much more than our
past mistakes
Our lost dreams and missed
opportunities
Yet we secretly perform self
evaluating double takes
With no quarter given for
redemption or immunity.
We hold ourselves to higher
standards than strangers
See someone else when we
look in the mirror
Live in constant fear of the old
nagging danger
That somehow we never seem
to deliver
The perfect response
wear the right suit of clothes
Who am I what am I
Sometimes God only knows
Mistaken, misshapen by GQ
and Vogue
Controlled by what others may
think
Can't stir up the courage to go
it alone
So we teeter on our own egos
brink
We say yes to parties we will
not attend
Or say I'm busy, can't make it,
don't mean to offend.
Then second guess our
decisions again and again
Before we return to our true
friend the pen.
A Redneck Wins the Lottery
By Elton Camp
A house trailer is the only place Rufus did live
For a house he never had down payment to give
One day, all that poverty disappeared in a flash
He won the state lottery and was rolling in cash
For the first time, he could have things his way
Since for anything we wanted he was able to pay
So Rufus rushed out and bought a suit of clothes
“Throw away these rags. I’ve no need of those.”
He went to a snooty restaurant for a fine meal
“Much better than McDonald’s it does feel.”
Rufus bought a mansion in an upscale place
For to live poor he now thought was a disgrace
And it made rich Rufus feel especially keen
When he bought a Cadillac stretch limousine
So a reminder of his former life wouldn’t lack,
He had a fifth-wheel trailer mounted to the back
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