Wildlife 13
An athletic young frog from Biarritz,
Could swim just as fast as Mark Spitz,
He would eat soup and stew,
But not Vindaloo,
For he found that it gave him the squits!!
Categories:
squits, animal, funny,
Form: Limerick
Two doses of white Picolax
It’s liquid- unlike choc ex-lax
This drink is the pits
I’ve now got the squits
No wonder I cannot relax!
*I’ve never had Ex Lax and the Picolax was much more pleasant to drink than I had been lead to believe... got my colonoscopy tomorrow .. who knows if there will be a poop poem on that subject!
07/06/20
Categories:
squits, health, me,
Form: Limerick
My sneaky big brother Bobby May
stole my trick and treat candy today
He plays the same trick every year,
then laughs at me when I shed a tear
So this year I made sure that I got even
and added Ex Lax choc from Uncle Steven
The time has come to call it quits -
cos Bobby May has got the squits!
If I were your brother Poetry Contest
Sponsored Bobby May
10/16/19
Categories:
squits, brother, candy, humorous,
Form: Couplet
There once was a bad chef called Phyl
His cooking made customers ill
It sure was the pits
They all got the squits
So none of them would pay their bill
03~29~17
Categories:
squits, food, humorous,
Form: Limerick
We thought we'd have a little fun
At my friends house last night
His wife would demonstrate how it should be done
To be sure we did it right .
One of the lads would pluck eyebrows
Another would use a lady shave
Solemnly I had to swear a vow
That I would endure the waxing craze.
Well when I saw the eyebrow Plucker
At last I began to relax
I heard him yelp and thought '' Sucker ''
I bet you wish you'd chosen the wax.
Let it go a little hard and playful
His wife said as she shaved around his bits
A woman , A razor and his tadpole
No that would have really given me the squits .
Then she put wax strips on my hairy legs
Telling me to hold on to the chair
Promise me it won't hurt , I beg
OOOOUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHH
I flew up in the air .
I've decided women are masochistic
They really have to be
Or perhaps they are just sadistic
and enjoy inflicting cruelty .
So I'm never again going to play women's games
They can call me chicken all they like
When they've finished laughing and calling me names
I'll just say '' YOU CAN TAKE A HIKE ''
Categories:
squits, funny,
Form: Verse
We'd really like to thank you
i'm sure you left it here with love,
it really was so kind of you
but we didn't want your bug.
We thought you'd like to know
we really felt the pits
we thought of you quite often
when we had the squits.
Next time you come to visit
please leave your bugs at home,
'cause, when you bring them with you
they sure do like to roam.
So next time that we see you
I hope you come alone,
you can bring Rosie and Katie
but leave your bugs at home.
Categories:
squits, friendship, funny, people, time,
Form: Ode