Short Saloons Poems

English saloons cut hair,

American salons cut O!...

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The gold and silver ran out
                                  Banks folded, saloons dried up
                       After dark, bankrupt spirits came out to play...

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saloons are just another form of dealing with depression
I hate drinking away nights
saying yes to bartenders
saying no to reality 
take a dip in the cold waters
harsh and real
life is for losers I thought
but maybe I should really try living sometime...

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Farewell to the pubs
the bars and the stores

Farewell to saloons
and the swinging of doors

Farewell to the nights
of stumbling home

Farewell to the fights
that hurt me alone

Farewell to the grip 
of the bottle at last

I say to the demons
You can kiss my ass....

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Carrie Nation loathed saloons and whiskey,

And took some actions that were quite risky!

She chastised dudes who reeked of intoxication,

And used her hatchet to smash kegs of booze across the nation!

Entry for Andrea Dietrich's "Educate Me With Humor" Clerihew Contest...

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Magazine ads and newspaper obituaries
skitter across the streets
like tumbleweed in the desert.
Rims the size of carriage wheels roll by.
Everyone's holsters are filled,
even the children carry pistols.
The schools are ghost towns
but the saloons stay occupied.
This is the Wild, Wild West....

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To a group of recovering alcoholic flies
the pastor offered hope with rousing cries:
Ignore what others say, ignore the lies,
resist temptation, transform your lives,
stay clear of bars, saloons, and dives.
Lastly, safeguard your hearts, do not despise
Beelzebug’s wisdom which will keep you wise:
Until you’re dry you’re still bar flies. 
...

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Pretty soon
It will be pretty June
The city comes alive
With blooming blasting tunes
Gangster goons
And their lovely lady loons
Stirring violence 
Under the lunatic summer moon
Downtown pedestrian platoons
Hitting the nightclub saloons
Backrooms and thick exotic perfume
I can see everything
Without even leaving my room
In the evening clouded by medicinal fumes 
Hop skipping across giant
Floating nitrous oxide balloons...

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concubines of the highway march with wisdom hips hugging earth flowers of rain
strain of time rain in the window reborn of glass gods crumble to heaven
gold graffiti in stone sentinels on the edge of dreamless deserts
jack of hearts stallions spurs creaking doors saloons
pianos of war dribbling hitler stalin for the eyes
to blink mirages of salvation dying of thirst
echoing bibles the cloth blessed black
wings of conquest fanning screams
wrapped in blood born years...

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Shots fired 

In a western town

Smoke clears

From the barrel of a gun 


Two arch rivals 

In a duel of death

Who's the better gunslinger

Will be put to the test


Bullets fly 

On a mission to kill

Only the Bulls-eye shooter 

Holsters his weapon again


Sheriff falls 

To bite the dust

A cowboy escapes  

Trailed by bounty hunters and hounds


A reward is set

On church walls and saloons

"Wanted dead or alive"

Reports Tombstone daily news...

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