Short Putz Poems

Captain Quark,
had a lark,
Driving his poor friends nuts,
But Captain Quark,
his mind so dark,
was nothing but a putz....

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A peanut farmer named Futz
Slipped and fell and crushed his nuts
Two nuts in a shell
Went crunch when he fell
Without nuts he’s just a putz...

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WHO SOURED THE SOUP?   

blog trolls
blowholes

bloggers
cloggers

daft clown
sad frown

a nerd
absurd

intense
pretense

Miss Putz
she's nuts

old goose
obtuse
 
one jerk
does lurk

sick dude
so rude

soup pun
such fun


March 20, 2017
Jan's Footles Contest...

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Itsy bitsy brain
Inside my walnut head
When someone so much smarter
Reads what I have said
Then takes the big
Nut-cracker
And to my head applies
Walnut shards now in my brain,
I'm running out of lies
Now I see
Thanksgiving's Day's bowl of nuts
I say silently to myself;
My God, I'm such a G.D. putz!...

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ROAD BULLY

You really are a putz
You beep, you crowd
Your radio’s loud
You act like such a nut

You really are a pain
You swerve, you brake
For heavens sake
You rarely use your brain

You really think your queen
You text, you read
All while you speed
And then get really mean

A bully is what you are
The swears, the rage
Not acting your age
All this while driving a car...

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Addicted? Who me?
Could stop any time
One cup a day?
Would do me just fine

Aside from the shakes
Freaking out now and then
Craving that fix
Going off the deep end

Trust me I'm fine
Not being deceitful
Shakes aren't a problem
'Cept threading a needle

But I'll have to admit
Some lives have been ruined
Caffeine's the nemesis
Cut down on the brewin'

Whoever discovered it
Was a downright putz
To cause so much grief
With one li'l ole cup!

© Jack Ellison 2012...

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