Short Pud Poems

Fonde..licicious camenbert
humungous hummous
a cheap & cheerful chinese
better than baked beans
chocolate..fix pud
Two for one
Buy !...

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A memory of something nice,
At Christmas, we made coconut ice,
And White Christmas squares,
Plum pudding showed the care,
Sixpences planted in the pud,
Gee, those treats tasted good!...

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It’s factual, I’m not being silly,
A snake’s born with a second willy,
So do sharks in the sea -
It’s not a ‘phallus ee’,
Making love in the sea could be chilly.

10/10/20...

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A buffalo’s another name for bison, 
Don’t you know?

But you can’t boil your Christmas pud
Inside a buffalo …






This is a pun on the word “basin”, which Londoners (and Aussies) pronounce “bison”.
It’s an English thing …...

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Watch your Latin and don't let the cat in
Caesar had some jam for tea,
Pompei aderat.
ille, illa, illud,
but I'll have Yorkshire pud.
amo, amas, amat
Who let in the cat?
hic, haec, hoc
The mouse ran up the clock.
You can add another item
ad infinitum....

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Last Christmas Gran sucked her roast beef
Lost dentures were giving her grief
We had Christmas pud
Which should have been good
The ‘Crunch!’ meant I’d found Grandma’s teeth


21 November 2022
Contest: Fun Holiday Limerick
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin...

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Toxins in your body

Toxins on your skin

We put all these things into our bodies

in an aim to be beautiful and thin

Some are very potent, and very strong

others are illegal and very very wrong

all these things can harm your body, they don't do you any good.

just be happy with who you are and treat yourself to a chocolate pud!!...

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The smell is good
Just look at the pud
Gammon, Turkey and Beef
Life’s turned over a new leaf
A few balls of stuffing
They aint made of nuffing
Many calories they carry
It’s the sausages I want to marry
Grease torpedoes and crispy potatoes
We know where all that goes
Straight to the hips
For some taste bud kicks
Oh well
Diet go to hell....

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Brussel Sprout
Are you the mouse
Always hiding in the house
Where no one ever wanted you
To even have a chew
Just as well we don’t all like
As you can go on to fight
With all your small might
To then give us a fright 
To those of us that did not choose
To celebrate you
Amongst all the Xmas Poo

Now where is my Christmas Pud
Oh no I just saw where you stood 

DAMO...

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Turn life around
Pills by the pound
Filled with hope
End of fantasizing about that rope
Take my first pill
OK I’m just ill
Head will be fixed
Its just a bit mixed
Days creep by
The label - is it a lie
Day after day
No need to pray
Don’t feel that good
Eating more and more pud
Belly getting bigger
Unattractive figure
Enough to get you down
Full cycle - what a clown...

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Am I a girl, or just a boy,
who wants to be a girl?

Pink dresses don’t make a 
vagina,and a football doesn’t 
make a cock

Something happened in mum’s 
womb, to make me feel like this,
should I cry or should I shout,
when all I want is bliss?

I’m an ice-cream in a Yorkshire 
pud, the road ahead is long,
I hope the world won’t judge me;
the path to trans-gender is long...

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Cecilia has set me a challenge – to order my favourite pud
If I can say sticky toffee pudding it would be oh so good

But I may make another error and it could come out so bad
If I said stiffy cockie pudding again it would make me oh so sad

But a thought has just occurred to me – I don’t need to use my voice
My husband can order for me, then I’ll get the pudding of my choice!

1st October 2015...

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What would life be if till we die
We could not eat a pud or pie
Or could not taste and could not savour
Flaky pastry filled with flavour

The world may as well turn to dust
For tasty food encased in crust
Is all we crave when hunger calls
Some say it be the food of fools

But there's no problem can't be cured
Or no hardship be endured
With pie we have upon our plate
A confidante, a friend a mate.





4th may 2021...

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