Short Iguana Poems

a life suspended
reptile in dead of winter ~
frozen iguana



Date written: 01/27/2022...

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Iguana wears a dragon’s coat
And haughty dragon stare.

If you should find him in your bath,
He’d give you quite a scare!...

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Iguana’s don’t have bad manners
He sticks his tongue out, this is true
But he’s not really being naughty
It is just his way of smelling you...

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My iguana bit my nose off in Muskogee
I'm ashamed I let myself run out of beer
If I'm caught driving sober to the grocery
They might deport my ass right out of here....

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How good was it with Barack Obama
Great prez, so sad to say adieu, oh momma
What a charmer
Much love he garnered
Comparisons are glaring with the current iguana...

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among the ruins
iguana carved from bed rock
weathers in the sun

Brian Johnston
April 5,2016

Poet's Notes: 
Inspired by a haiku by Amy Losak on Face Book's Japanese Poetry Garden Path...

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One day with her pet lizard, on a
warm beach lay the sex goddess Shawna.
One who ogled her bust
tried to claim he was just
enthralled by her lovely iguana!

For john freeman's Giggle 2 Contest...

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Funny thing happened on my way to the sauna
Met a strange-looking man carrying an iguana
Perhaps a family pet
Not many friends I'll bet
Iguanas have the ability to cause a trauma...

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Zebra, Yak, Xenopus, Walrus, Vulture, Urial, Tiger, Snake, Rhinoceros, Quokka, Peacock, Orangutan, Numbat, Muntjac, Lion, Kudu, Jerboa, Iguana, Hyena, Guan, Frog, Elephant, Dromedary, Camel, Bison, Avians....

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perched on the treetops
iguana closes its eyes
soaking in the sunshine

the new doorkeeper 
of this deserted house
- one mister spider

6 am and falling rain
bed! how cosy you feel
this morning...

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Antelope
Brown Bear
Cat
Dolphin
Elephant
Flamingo
Goose
Hippopotamus
Iguana
Jellyfish
King Snake
Leopard
Mink
Newt
Opossum
Puma
Quail
Rat
Snail
Tiger
Uakari
Viper
Whale
X-ray Fish
Yak
Zebra...

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Never thought I'd be cheering for an iguana but I did
Snakes on Madagascar don't play fair, they're hypocrites
Look cute, by crikey
But really, gorblimey
Ain't the nicest of serpents, eat iguanas and their kids...

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Never thought I'd be cheering for an iguana but I did
Snakes on Madagascar don't play fair, they're hypocrites
Look cute, by crikey
But really, gorblimey
Ain't the nicest of serpents, eat iguanas and their kids...

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An iguana and a ladybug
Went out to eat one day.
The lady said, "This is my treat, 
And I'll be glad to pay."
Said lizard, "Not at all, my dear,
For I've a teeny hunch
That after I am through with you,
There'll be just one for lunch!"...

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The iguana is certainly a popular lizard
To figure out why doesn't take a wizard

With that spiky mane curving down its back
It looks like a stegosaurus who went off track

I myself prefer pterodactyls to lizards
To guide me home when lost in a blizzard...

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Iguana wants to be a player
Geico commercials didn't hire this slayer
Apparently he's too green
To counteract the green screen 
So Iguana puts on shades 
Then moonwalks and prays
The Gecko breaks a leg on Thursday 
And hopefully doesn't regenerate the next day...

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a popsicle 
a 
moment 
on 
the 
beach 
we 
never 
had 
Richard Burton 
the iguana 
Puerto Vallarta 

we 
never 
had 
a 
drink 
sitting 
on the king and I 
purple faced 
dream 
island 
mime 
retreat  

a moment of calm, 
………..meditating

ok...

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a small green gecko
smiling in the palapa
watching everything

arachnids calmly 
weave intricate spiderwebs
waiting in shadows

a striped iguana 
sunbathing on the smooth rocks
watching the ocean

hermit crabs scuttle
on wet sand, going nowhere,
only moving on
...

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A Baboon Cleans Dandruff 
Entirely From Gigantic 
Hairy Iguana Just Kicked Low 
Monkey Never Opened Pants 
Quickly Runs Sighting Trunks 
Under Vest Wearing 
Xylophone Yelling Zebra. 

Copyright © Cynthia Jones 
Sept.25/2004 

My gawd, this one is stupid....

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I suffered a terrible drama
Got hit by a frozen iguana
It fell out of a tree
And landed on me
I’m hospitalised with the trauma!

Inspired by a sweet friend who had read a news article about iguanas falling out of trees in Florida as they were experiencing plummeting temperatures

02/02/22...

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Galapagos Island Ignoramus, (oops) Iguana  
or
Seventh Grade Craziness
Written: By Tom Wright
12/12/2003

I didn’t mind being called an ignoramus,
The class was divided; about half thought it was a compliment,
But I knew she was calling me some sort of big lizard.
I was happy that it wasn’t dimwit or blockhead. 
...

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The dancing all night was what Suz
loved most about taking a cruise.
In her beautiful gown
she felt very let down,
for she'd packed only tennis shoes!

The next day a big lizard on a
warm beach crawled on Suz's friend Shawna.
Guys who ogled her bust
tried to say they were just
enthralled by the lovely iguana.


For john freeman's Boisterous Comedy Poetry Contest...

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Under the Banyan Tree

Underneath the banyan tree
Eating lunch so peacefully
What was that that dripped on me

Wet on shoulder, hip and knee
No one else – no, only me
Wondering what it could be 

Looking up into the tree
No care that all of us could see
From lifted leg so gracefully

Yes there I was in old San Juan
Underneath the devil’s spawn
When suddenly I’m peed upon

Iguana pee...

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Hippy hyena hid hipster hippo’s hysteria.
Ignominious iguana ignored Iceland’s icky industries.
Jovial jelly jars joyfully jumped jubilantly into June.
Kind kangaroos killed Kansas’s killjoy kindnesses.
Loving lithe llamas languished, lacking lonely leaders.
Marvelous magnificent magicians masqueraded as maestros.
Needless nutcrackers helped hippy hyenas hide hippos’ hysteria....

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You need to watch this 
Video of Godzilla 
so you will understand 
Godzilla 

Godzilla is a Giant iguana 
Dinosaur from deep in the Ocean
Who feeds on Radioactivity 

And eats People
And Matthew Broderick 

Godzilla speaks perfect English 
He says
I don’t care if you were in
Ferris Bueler 
Or on Broadway 
I’ll eat you just the same
Grr-roar Blah blah blah blue blue blue...

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