Short Hob Poems

Stop being suggestive
With that choccy digestive
Just stick it in your gob
And pass me a hob nob...

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stand here
   and stead
with staff
   in hand
tawed 
   tined
     and staid
Hob –
   goblin
he, a
   tricky
ol’ fellow
   haughty
     ‘n hasty
       in greed



...

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Halloween Treat

This
Cold night
Of such fright—
This Halloween
Scares the Bejesus
Out of me for sure since
I fear being the fresh treat
For the Devil’s big appetite,
And his desire to consume my soul!
Old Hob shall see my crucifix tonight!

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved,
September 22, 2015 (Etheree)...

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Today I’m a blob
a slob
a glob
a perturbed mob hob
don’t ask me what it means
you will be peter fink snob
you’re ugly and spoiled
and it’s not your business you see,
so get away and stop pestering me.
today I’m a blob, a snob, a glob, 
a perturbed mob hob.
uglier and more surly than
a spilled kernel of a sassy
Iowan corn cob....

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The milk boiled over the hob is a mess
Table covered in cereals, kids couldn’t care less
They leave dishes for others to sort out as norm
Leaving for school it’s like the eye of a storm

Kitchen is now sorted the dishwasher is on
Coffee in hand, I am relaxing, talking on phone,
Peace reigns sublime, this time is my own

penned 29/01/2017

pure imagination not true...

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Kitchen catastrophes,
kitty got into the closet
the cat has a key
cold cuts today
no time to cross the equator
in a clapped-out cart.
New Year beer
hob-knobbing with the cousins
from down under.
Skype skipping,
excruciating words
not napping but yapping on.
Kaleidoscopic clips of memories
auld lang syne -ing,
merry making
with the madcap amigos.
Cat nipping,
kitty got out of the closet
she got a key
in me....

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a fiddling cat in the middle of June
was thinking of having a meal
The music he played so enlivened the maid
That she dropped a dish and a spoon
First day on the job and a cat playing hob
twas an excuse she needed real soon
The little boy laughing was really too much
So the story she told was quite lame
On a high jumping cow she put all the blame
She had blocked out the light of the moon
So now we all know in detail and how
The dish ran away with the spoon...

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Jane had a stutter
She took her time to speak
Her little sister Lucy lisped
Which sounded rather sweet
Her father had a loud voice
He was master of the house
Her mother spoke softly
Like a timid little mouse
Her brother was dumb
And he couldn't say a word
Grandma was deaf
She mixed up everything she heard
The pussy cat purred
The Alsatian dog barked
The Canary in a cage
Sang like a lark
The kettle on the hob
Whistled merrily
Mum put her knitting down
And made a cup of tea...

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