Short Fer Poems

Clutter?
Shudder!

Cut her?
What 'fer?'

Flood her, 
Brother!...

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~ pit viper - launches like jack in the box; strikes with deadly precision ~






Date written: 01/16/2022...

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subtle strokes for different folks, 
from the subtle analyser,
sins of the many, holy smoke,
 i wonder if im ready to fry fer:) 


Don...

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my...cough
in the grave...be

my...fun
fer-all...so

sip...smile
and put the lids...back

on...bottles
and...box


stans sand...

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10/8/12

 I need tah tell yer lotsah shtuff
But ferst—I need tah learn how tah spell
Sorry all yer grammer buffs
Fer puttin’ you threw hell! :D ...

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“DaVinety, went and sleept ontha flur U see cuz daint na ruum in the bed fir me”


For Inky Dinky Parlay Voo Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Caren Krutsinger...

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La dame de fer looks on
furry tabby cat is enthralled
woman plays mystery sonata

is that a stratavarius? It is!
we are all intrigued and excited
including iron lady...

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Poor ol' boy Richard Odekirk,
Just couldn't get fired and hasta work.
It's unfair that he'll miss the enjoyment,
Of his 96 weeks of Unemployment!

Just for Caties contest!!!...

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.


   am I alone here
      did they say
      that there'z
         at least
two babez fer every
           dude

            oh
         my bad
           calm down bruh
...

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.

               yeah she do
                     just
               send her to 
                 my ranch
                      i'll
               thick'n it up
                   fer ya...

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running in the groove
needle follows at speed
hear the record
skip as the needle
slices through my lump
Dying in vinyl crevice
oil slick sides
unable to climb
needle coming round again
jumping for the last time...

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Now I know how he got his name....
He can put an electric dryer to shame!
Dryers eats socks,
Socrates does pilfer....
I wonder what happens,
If I send him a bill 'fer
All my missing socks....
Would he sock me one?...

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.

                          i were fer sure that
                             one grew outta 
                                  dimplez 
                                    butt
                                    nope...

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There wuz once an ol' cowpuncher named Slim

    Who attempted bull-ridin' on a whim

        Throwed in a heap of manure

           'Twuz more'n he could endure

                Thus ceased a bull-ridin' future fer him...

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No more poems about poops and bums
Worn them right out, on to jokes and puns
Know what MNDI stands fer
Stands for your MIND out of order
Got bunches of silly groaners to post by the ton


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Grams, She said
don't give me thm dead flowers
plae em by the tree~

Dun giv me no live flowers
Fer they will wilt wit me
Dun giv me naw dead flowers

I wan sumthin alive
Give me sumthin that movin like a sports car
LOL...

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.

                    Don't

            if'n it tastes like
                  chicken
                 wine and
                  dine'er
                     fer
                az long az
                   ya can

                     Tap...

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Overheard by flies on the White House wall

   During Bubba's tete-a-tete with his moll.

      "Order extra salami

         And a tad more pastrami

            Fer my pizza on yer next service call!"

Entry for Andrea Dietrich's Limerick Contest...

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Have you heard about cowpoke Clapsaddle?
,
   He rode fer years on his horse astraddle.

      His legs was badly bowed,

         And he walked pigeon-toed.

            Oddly he named his hoss Fiddle Faddle.

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired...

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In the Land O' Scots nigh auld Iverness,

   Cavorts a lass named Nessie in Loch Ness!

      Is this sly dragon fer real,

         Er jes' an overgrown eel?

            We'll never know fer sure is my guess!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved...

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A flamingo asked a fer-de-lance
To be his date to a high school dance.
"Oh, you don't want to go with me.
I've neither arms nor legs, you see."
"No problem there", flamingo said,
"You can still play the perfect role.
We'll enter the limbo contest,
And you can be the pole!"...

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Agost

Agost ...
va arribar a l'agost
à gosto.

Um Agosto da liberdade,
fer amadureciment del espírito
fer amor al proper,
agosto de muito trabalho.

Agost
feu Faça já o que té que ser fet,
feu Faça sempre un poc més!

A gente se esforça mais
- Una llibertat vem ......

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Jack and Jill Went to A Dance


Jack and Jill went out to a western dance
Though Jill did think she would prance and prance
what did happen next
Jill did get perplexed
Jack danced on her toes, threw fer-de-lance.


Note: A fer-de-lance is a type of a snake


Written: Dec. 1, 2015
Theresa...

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It’s braw y’are its braw a’reet
Wi’ brilly natchers at yer feet
Tis one fer they an’ one fer me
T’ set tha brilly natchers free
So dinna mumble dinna fret
Tha has nae seen yon natchers yet
But when they come as come they will
Be sure t’stand rock solid still
Nae griping an’ nae felly clure
Wie brilly natchers at yer door...

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Carol my friend
You can relax
Samuel, Sarah 
And Thunder are back.

They hitched a ride 
With the mail carrier
Were in good shape
And seemed even merrier.

Pre-she-ates Youse
Watchin um fer me's
Theys seys youse a nice lady
Weren't news ta me.

Keeps in touch
An I'lls does tha same
God Bless Youse....
What war youse name?...

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