Short Crapper Poems

I am very good at Snapper, 
Other people are crapper....

Read More

These laxatives don't work that I've been taking.
As I sit on the crapper, the inside of my butt is aching.
I've been eating these laxatives for weeks and I still can't do number two.
I can't take a dump no matter how hard I try and I don't know what else to do.
I just learned something and I am so embarrassed.
These laxatives are suppositories that are supposed to go up my ass....

Read More

The drooly ghouly ghoul looked frightening.
Some felt he was worse than cow pie lightning.
I had met him as a tiny little scrapper,
When he had politely asked to use our crapper.

So even though he scared the orange juice out of others,
He left me completely alone, also my grandmothers.
Luckily for me, neither of these old gals could see well.
So they did not know he was from the bowels of hell....

Read More

Itsy Bitsy spider went up the wall of shower.
Itsy Bitsy spider, grabbed with piece of paper.
Itsy Bitsy spider was placed in toilet water.
Itsy Bitsy spider, wished he was in hamper.
Itsy Bitsy spider was now stuck in the crapper.
Itsy Bitsy spider went down in swirling water.
To take a shower, with an Itsy Bitsy spider,
Was not going to happen, upon any hour,
Without any cower, she finished her shower....

Read More

Bandit of Sherwood

A man from the ‘hood name of Robin
Insults to the sheriff was lobbin’
     But Robin the rapper
     Got locked in the crapper
When he heard Maid Marion sobbin’

The sheriff claimed Robin of Sherwood
Was not nabbing gold for the poor’s good
     He said the thief’s power
     Raised cash for a tower
Where Marion might lose her “Maidhood” 





*January 30, 2019
For Joseph’s Limerick III contest...

Read More

I hide my shame where no one can see.
And know that they could not understand me.

I wear my guilt behind closed doors.
And hope they will never find me.

I purge the torment out of my mind.
And pray that that's what will help free me.

Look in the mirror, I see myself.
But the image there only cheats me.

I try to cleanse myself of these thoughts.
But somehow it always defeats me.

So, it's back to the crapper Joe goes!
The only place I know to relieve me....

Read More