Suck off
Ted’s teaching grandma to suck eggs
“Don’t patronise me lad,” she begs
"It’s a job I can do
SO much better than you
Just scarper on your asses legs!"
Gran whispers words I won’t repeat
Ted’s blushes as red as a beet
She is so worldly wise
And it is no surprise
This jackass won’t usurp her seat!
Categories:
scarper, humorous, relationship,
Form: Limerick
The family Sunday dinner, it was spent
In all six family members were present
The dog ending its begging at the table
A favourite for tip bits, was Aunt Mable
But as dinner's over it’s time to scarper
To get away from Uncle Bert, the farter
Who blamed it on the dog, so un-fairly
A dog that never farts, if so, was rarely
Looks at Uncle Bert. he knew the score
Has now sneaked, out of the back door
Categories:
scarper, dog, humorous, write,
Form: Couplet
A STORMY DAY IN THE SOUTHERN ALPS
An environmentalist in love with his endowment, cast an eye upon the defender
of nature’s delicate balance, she the soul queen of conservation, together the two assimilate like the prevailing hurricane lock horns as the beast would in battle.The vibration rattles the old tin roof of our cabin, while the black possums scarper
clouds ejaculate
far below blank out the sun
Aoraki smiles
The tempest cuts through the backwoods far beyond the horizon, deep
in camouflage torments the deanery of elementary life forms. Flashes
of lightning waver through the gloom become centre stage, thunder
rumbles on, a drum roll an intro to a symphony of hail harmoniously
pounding the diverse depth of the valley
drowning in colour
the forest canopy yields
Kakapo declines
© Harry J Horsman 2017
Categories:
scarper, adventure, rain, weather,
Form: Haibun
If I ran a hairdresser’s I’d call it ‘curl up and dye’
I think it’s a very clever name, you can see the reason why
If I was a carpenter I’d be called Mr Wood
My sign would read ‘Mr Wood would fix it if he could’
If I was a glazier I’d be called ‘ I know your pane’
So if you broke a window, you’d soon shout out my name
If I was a DIY man I’d call myself ‘Bodge it and Scarper’
I guess that’s not such a good idea!
Categories:
scarper, humorous, jobs,
Form: Rhyme