Pets Satire Poems

I'm baked
I'm baked
One toke is all it taked....

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*** Classified Ad — “Position Wanted” ***

  ((The following is from ad details written on the ad draft form submitted by the ad’s purchaser,...

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(Warning, some dark humor. If you are sensitive about death and illness, have recently lost a loved one, this is not a read for you)

My...

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My cat never cared, 
was never bothered, never scared. 
Till that is, when one day, 
beside the cats litter tray, 
another bowl lay beside, 
In...

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She's there when you don't want her
       bossing you around
     But when you really need...

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Two cats
wanting to be Number One;
each cat jealous
of the other one--
they lived with
two elderly people,
in a warm and
cozy flat--
a complete set of hands
for each cat-intervention
and...

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Are you wearing monkey pants?
So am I! So am I!
We should all wear monkey pants
Till we die. Till we die....

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Hopping little bunny loved the store,
Hidden by the trees near the shore,
She loved candies and playing outdoors.
‘Stranger danger” her mommy said,
Little bunny didn’t listen she...

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Imagine I posted a cute video. Dog looking intensely at something, or it might not be a dog, the video is shaky and fuzzy, maybe...

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Attacked by pugs! What kind of pugs?
Puppy pugs, those horrid thugs!
They think our nose and lips are dugs! 
They want to eat our ugly mugs!...

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I stood at vantage point on a hill and watched,
non-humans behave humanly- amazing it was!
Rats in their social life play, wrestle, giggle
and engage in mock...

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My First day in school
was hell between walls
teacher shouted all over 
telling me to smile
with dead pictures
children made noise
painted me with flu!
That kitchen-woman
throws porridge to...

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I've always heard
about the New York minute
But nobody ever told me
about the New York hour
I'm speaking on the time of the day
when it seems like...

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Dogs, are man's best friend
who's most endearing quality is 
an unbound willingness 
to do our bidding

Cats, are like prodigies or savants
who's most endearing quality is
an...

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Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let...

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