Does this outfit make me look fat? The crocodile asked the saleslady.
A bull-speaker, gusher and a compliment-er was, this lying gal, Sady.
You look marvelous, she said, I love the polka dots, stripes and plaid.
The crocodile strutted around the three-way mirror, pompously glad.
Stores are kinda busy,
people are on a shopping spree,
young and old they may be
they all want something free.
Then a message, pleasing to see,
reads: "buy one, take one for free".
An old woman asked the saleslady:
"Can I take only the free?"
A young salesman had a gimmick,
something difficult to mimic,
he was selling two books for eighty
but if one, it's only forty.
Two customers quarrel
for they want the same towel;
The manager just do not care
'cause stocks are everywhere.
Then an old man in a wheelchair
came looking for the bartender,
he was ordering a glass of beer
for he thought it was a bar.
Shoppers young, shoppers old,
some are warm, some are cold;
There is noise everywhere
'cause "back to school" in here.
September 10, 2022
Back to School Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Francine Roberts
The perky saleslady looked at my aging bicycle
and asked if I would consider a newer model
something lighter
something sexier.
I told her, "My bike and I have a delicious history -
our past and future have merged into a single trajectory,
we're in this together for the long ride.
"I don't think of her as old, she is 'vintage'
we've been through many miles together -
seen breathtaking vistas.
"She knows what direction I want to go even before I do.
We have scars from the journey but each scar has a story
and every story brings a smile.
"Yes, we're slowing down and every ride feels uphill,
but for better or worse, she's never given up on me -
I owe her the same courtesy."
The saleslady chuckled nervously and said,
"Do you know you sound like you're talking about your wife?"
I got on my bike and said,
"I do".
Written 1 Nov 2020
From the furniture store I've been banned -
did the saleslady misunderstand?
Claimed malicious intent
but that's not what I meant
when I asked, "Can I get one nightstand?"
My new born son is as ugly as he can be.
I'm offended when people say he looks like me.
I wanted a son, that is every man's dream.
But when people see him, they always scream.
Last week, a saleslady came to my house to sell a vacuum cleaner.
She started running when she saw my baby, you should've seen her.
I have to get dog drunk before I'm able to kiss him good night.
If you have a bad heart, my baby will cause you to die of fright.
My wife was offended when I said our baby has the face of a horse.
She's so angry at me that she's threatening to get a divorce.
I'll sign the divorce papers but only if she agrees to take the baby.
I want that homely infant out of my sight and I don't mean maybe.
He called them the great men
Thoreau, Goethe, Emerson, Tolstoy
Yet even as a child, I discovered Wyeth's greatness
“Christina’s World” called to me
fascinated child, as mama shopped
Christina’s painting intrigued me for hours
Blind neighbor, his inspiration
Christina was lying in a field of wheat
Saleslady explained her sad life
Glorified only in Wyeth's detailed, brilliant strokes
Staring at her so long at age eight
Mama bought the print on which I still marvel
*Pennsylvania Artist Andrew Wyeth received the National Medal of Arts in 2006 and died
just 10 days after my father on January 16, 2009. His most well-known work is Christina’s world
* Poem written April 19, 2014
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