Saint Bernard Poems | Examples

Juncos

Pretty juncos flutter in my backyard.
One sits on a fencepost, clearly on guard.
They wander through the weeds,
eating insects and seeds,
but fly when they hear my big Saint Bernard!

Red cross

red cross saint bernard
on standby for avalanche
rescue nine one one



AP: 1st place 2025

The Saint Bernard

Though not in his nature to beg
He would flip for a sip from the keg
Of the rum or the brandy
That dangles so handy
His lips near the tips of the peg

Puppy Collies and Their Follies Nursery Rhyme

Small little  Halle, Molly, and Dolly  
full of mischief, puppy collies; 
climbing over each other in their folly. 
Snarling and growling, around in the yard, 
while Reilly the Saint Bernard stands guard. 
Reilly rolls onto its back, as they come hard 
climbing all over, nipping and licking volley.


4/9/2021

Heat Wave

say your hellos
i'm prespiring
look at those

eyes combined
with your lips
all you have

is just
smile 
and my

frost drips off
as if in a droll
you rescued me

my saint bernard
cheers to a sip of
that which i drink

i'm drunk

Paint Holds Me Together

My skin and hair will never fall off, because the paint will always hold us together.
Paint is perpetually on my nails, under my nails, on my toes, and on my nose.
My good clothes are often my accidental paint clothes.
I have more paint clothes than I have other clothes.
Because I keep forgetting what I am wearing, and when I want to paint, I paint.
I am a sloppy painter, putting my elbows and knees into paint, smearing the canvases,
Dumping over paint jars.  Imagine a Saint Bernard trying to paint, that is me.
In the morning I am not sure if I do not use the mirror, or if I do not notice, but
When I get to work, people start cleaning me up. They apologize as they rub glitter off my cheeks,
And a streak of red or green paint off my cheek. They put my tags in, because they are always
Sticking up too.  My whole staff dresses me, finding stuff I would have never seen, because I
Truthfully do not care.  Dressing used to be important to me. I am not sure when that changed,
Maybe, when I started getting paint on everything I own.

Cold Weather Welcome Mat Haiku

jack frost gives me life
a saint bernard jumps and plays
good riddance, summer

On a Particular Sunday After Church

homemade chicken noodle soup and a grilled lipton burger
sixites latin music bumping out of the speakers and your booty just a-shakin'
no cares in the moment and unconditional love floating all around
you steal a kiss and a light slap on my butt
i shake my head as you laugh like mad at me actually blushing
i grab you a water and myself some blue cream soda
we take our reverie to the new deck your brother built for us and admire the view
old sookie the saint bernard finds the energy to come and beg for our food
he is drooling banana peel brain style and you toss him something
now it is my turn to guffaw and shake my head
we begin to converse as old sookie finds his lazy bone again and falls asleep between our deck chairs
you take my hand
i blush again
you say 'you need to quit'
now i steal a kiss from you
you deepen the kiss
FOOD FULLY DIGESTED!
the rest we will leave to the obvious part of somebody's imagination
i will just say dessert was wonderful and perfect....

Reincarnated

I always thought it was impossible for a person to reincarnate but I learned that they can.
After I died, I reincarnated but I didn't come back to life as a man.
I came back to life as a dog and my wife is my owner.
Even though I'm a dog, she still gives me a *****.
I was shocked when I looked in the mirror and saw that I'm a Saint Bernard.
Some times my wife tries to date men but I chase them and I bite them hard.
When I was a Human, I had elegance and class.
But last night I bit a chunk out of a man's ass.
Certain things put me in a bad mood.
One of which is having to eat Dog Food.
Being near my wife is intoxicating and it's sure to please.
But I'm about to itch to death because of these damn fleas.
I'll stop my wife from dating men until I die, that's what I'll do.
If you ever try to date my wife, I'll take a big chunk out of you.

(This is a fictional poem)

Dear Friend

Would you still be my friend if I told you I loved you?
That after all these years you were always the one
How watching you smile—is like watching the sun rise
Beautiful like a night-flowering cereus, and arousing like chocolate covered deserts.
That your big brown delicious eyes make me salivate,
Like a Saint Bernard on the hottest day of August.
I might be a man—you might be a man— so what?

My Dog Doppelganger

If I had to say for sayings sake
Just because a friend wanted to know
If I was a dog, what kind would I make?
I don't like the heat so give me some snow

A Saint Bernard rescuing the stranded
seems my kind of a rural life
No big city kitties could I be branded
No yorky cuddled with a house wife

Depth, strong, solid, loyal and helpful
That's what I have in me to be
Though along the way I'll make a snow angel 
Then learn to snowboard and ski!

Christmas Windows - We Be Smart

He mighta fooled the neighbor kids
    when he complain, "Chimney all plugged up!"
Mighta have fooled our Saint Bernard
    when he say. "Nice dawg you have there sonny."
But!    That man with them argyle sox and tennis shoes
    pillow stuffed    beard lop-slide-sided
He aint    NOOO  WAY!    Santa Claus
That fool be our skinny ol dad!

I Asked

I asked the spirit why it was blue 
And it smiled and replied “Blue holds the truth”
I asked the dove why it was so white
And it replied, “So that all may see the light”
I asked the moon why it was so cool
And it continued to spin…
I asked the Saint Bernard to walk the dog
And it began to dance
I asked the horse to whinny
And it did, as the pony pranced…
I asked the family; why do you love me
And they replied, “Because you’re you”
I asked myself: "How came I to be so blessed”
And the answer came --you have followed
The path pursuing
The Truth shining
And so I kept quiet
Because every thing was perfect
So glad I asked…

I Loathed That Saint Bernard

(This is a true story)

I love dogs but there was one dog that I hated.
When she died in 1985, I celebrated.
That stinking dog roamed the neighborhood and killed people's animals.
The lousy owner was the one who was responsible.
That witch wouldn't keep her dog tied or put a fence in her yard.
A lot of people suffered because of her Saint Bernard.
We took the owner to court but the judge said there was nothing he could do.
What the hell is this country coming to?
That dog killed my dog and my cat.
She killed a lot of other people's animals too and they didn't deserve that.
That dog and the owner really made me mad.
When that Saint Bernard died, I certainly was glad.

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