You were the only one who
could help
You were the only one who
cared,
Id take powerful blows to my
emotions
as he would watch me slowly
fall to my mercy,
No one besides you could ever
do this much for me.
I'm only a whore,
A ****,
No one besides you will ever
love me
No one will ever give me this
much.
Who else would choose who I
could befriend?
You have to love me more than
life itself
to ever do this to anyone.
Your depression caused
problems for you
So I was the punching bag,
I was blamed for everything
growing up
Why couldn't you do it?
Years ago,I was in bondage,I
was in chains......I was ruled
over,I was lame....
I took blood shed,I wept in
silence,
Innocent people died at my
feet,I wept in silence,
Innocents were hanged,I wept
in Silence,
A part of me was cut and
separated ,I wept in silence...
I was called India! I was free..I
smiled...
I was called Mother India..I
smiled...
My children were happy,I
smiled...
Today I am 63,old and feeble,
My little girls are raped and
killed,I weep in silence,
My little kids are sold and
killed,I weep in silence,
My boys don't respect me or
any woman,I weep in silence,
Was I freed to see this?
The bondage was better than
being a slave of my own
people....
The chains were better than
being a free yet helpless
mother...
I cry,I weep...I weep in
silence...
(Dedicated to the brutal
gangrape in New Delhi-India)
Goodbye O gravid existence.
To my new way I faintly ramble.
Remember my fate upon the
scrolls of loss.
Her tears by me were made
amble.
Should this suffice,
My words fibred and set aglow,
Wreathe me in ice.
And upon me, I bid you; row
Before, my eyes had colour
Now they reflect a saddened valour
Constant shakes make me quiver
And meaning is lost forever
I am a reminder of a beauty before.
Lost in a struggle with regret
Cry my beloved damned for your life I tore
Don't remind me of what I beg to forget
A dark passionate embrace
With a disgust for a race
I feed with lust
And reap with rust
I cure the insanity the brain faces
To the hush and cold dances
But I need more to be removed
I need another to lure
My accomplice death.
You are my father
how could you not
protect me or teach
me anything
You were supposed
to be there for me
through everything
It makes me sad that
you won't be there
for your oldest
daughter
I just pray that you're
blessed in the name
of the Holy Father
No matter how hard I
try to have a
relationship with you
You just turn away
like many other
people do
I'm sad, I'm hurt, but
do you care ... NO!!!!
I'll just hang my head
and weap to my soul
It's just me and my guitar
Seeing revelers walk blindly by
It's just me and my guitar
Watching fireworks in the sky
It's just me and my guitar
While I play me a sad song
It's just me and my guitar
What could possibly be wrong?
It's just me and my guitar
Can't hit the major scales right
It's just me and my guitar
Strums to souls out of sight
It's just me and my guitar
Hopes much for the year ahead
It's just me and my guitar
Cries in my bedroom instead
It's just me and my guitar
I'd play the whole morn away
It's just me and my guitar
Could there be a better day?
All I hear is lies from you
All u do is lie
All of your lies gives me so much pain
All of your lies hurts me so much, i want to kill myself
All of your lies made the good feeling in me disappear
All of your lies makes me want to cut myself
All of your lies is killing me and you dont even know it
All of your lies brings the emptiness in my heart
All of your lies is burning my heart and soul
All of your lies teard us apart
If you love me so much, please tell me the truth and not lies!
Sitting in this train
with my head against the windowpane
feeling so excited; can't wait to reach my destination
my friend is waiting for me in anticipation
waited so long for this vacation
thousands of kilometres to civilisation
the scenery is awesome
a man appears in the doorway, so handsome
what is it with me?
all of a sudden I feel so free
he asks for a light
everything around me looks so bright
we make conversation
we hear the whistle as we stopped at the station
"Let's get out and stretch our legs",
this tall, dark, handsome guy begs
what's with the sudden butterflies
as we look into each other's eyes?
is this infatuation?
as we depart from the station
he asks: "When can I sit in your coupe?"
"Why ask? Of course you may."
making love in a train
makes you forget about your pain
I wish this journey would never end
to him it was just meeting a new friend
Open the floor and you'll find me there
Hiding in this basement hell
I sleep with demons, although I dream of angels
And the angles in the walls disturb me
Open the floor and you'll find me there
Curled up like a fetus in the comfort of a womb
I hide my face in the corners of my arm
Waiting for the faces in the wall to disappear
When they leave and I am alone again
I will sit up straight and begin to stand
For I am free in my solitude
With no spirits and voices to distract me
Focusing on the stillness within me
This is freedom, This is my solitude
Underneath your feet, This is my home
I crawl the ground on glass hands
Hearing the cracking, but not feeling the pain
Complacency has found me and holds me tight
Wrapping his silky skin around my fragile body
I curl into his arms, feeling my body disappear
As a wall again, I breathe the stale air
Comfortable in this place, and yet still nauseous
If there is a god, I pray He finds the time
to look down from His castle in the sky
And I hope He finds mercy compelling
Starring down at my glass hands, chipped and broken
Not a drop of blood from the wounds
Starting to believe I am not real
I disappear again
I carefully adjust the mask, before I face the day,
the one that I've been wearing ever since he went away.
His coming brought a happiness like one I'd never known.
His going left an emptiness that chills me to the bone.
His sisters and the others try so hard to take his place.
For their sake I must smile and show of sorrow not a trace.
My firstborn and my only son, of whom I was so proud.
I mourn the boy and the man, but nevermore aloud.
The mask allows me to go on, I work, I write, I play.
Only when at last alone, I put the mask away.
By: Joyce Johnson
For contest "It's Mask Time" placed no. 8
Won a 3rd place
What do i really know about her
Does she deceive my very thoughts
Is she playing games with my mind
After everything i'v been so kind
thinking of it makes me depressed
she seems like the very best
I try to hide some things i feel
like how i want her with me all the time
How i want her to be only mine
Where i wish for her to be
Only right beside me
The saddest sunset I've ever seen
Shines the last of light on broken dreams
The love I have is not the love I want
But it holds me back, the love is daunt
I want you, can't you take a chance?
Won't you let me have one dance?
I know it's hard, please just see
That I need you, do you need me?
You are the dawn of my darkest night dear
The last petal on the flower
Please take a chance and see, love,
Please love me in my blackest hour.
Blues
are cutting me like a knife
all the way down
down to my soul
somebody please play some rock? '?n?' ?roll
maybe if i can get up and,? ?bop and stroll
it might be balm
for these blues
cutting me like a knife
like a mill-wheel grinding me
Blues
wear me down
i am ground up like fine meal
won't somebody throw down some jazz
something smooth-melodic,? ?to help me heal
cause i can not deal
with blues,? ?like a mill-wheel turning
turning to grind me down
every note pierces my heart with pain
change the music but refrain
from the same.? ?play ska,? ?gospel or reggae
rap or metal to chase my blues away
except country of course with its repeat
of loss,? ?despondency and defeat
that pierce my heart,? ?pierce my heart,? ?as if a pike
cause the stories told are so much like
the Blues
Please take your shots at me,
I beg for you to doubt me.
Come on and give me a challange,
Try your best to knock me off balance.
Im patiently waiting,
But my patience is fading.
Keep up your hate,
But losing's not my fate.
So far 2011s been a great year,
I'm sick beyond belife, but i'll find a cure.
Know in less then 16 weeks,
I lost two friends but thats not where it peaks.
Had my car taken away,
So my grandpa could gamble and play.
Lost my job due to his addiction,
But between us theres no friction.
Now lets talk about my sleepless month,
I went threw four bottles of nyquil,
Three bottles of tylenol PM,
But it wasnt as a stunt.
Poppin pills with no hesitation,
It was all in desperation.
Just lookin for some sort of rest,
But thats hard with pain in your chest.
Keep in mind all this is just in 2011,
You can say it's been like a lemon.
However I'm still standing on my own two feet,
And I'll never claim defeat.
Success is my best revenge,
Call me cocky or concided but my confidence will never bend
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