Funny Rhyme Poems | Examples
These Funny Rhyme poems are examples of Rhyme poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Rhyme Funny poems written by international poets.
My Sweet Girl
Giddy baby, giggles and dimples,
hardly ever cried
Except when time for Mommy’s awaking,
With patient eyes she spied.
Humming with gurgling baby sounds,
Hair wispy softly curled,
Watching down the hall to catch me,
By precious, my sweet girl.
Quietly at play all the while,
two fingers in her mouth,
By chance If hearing my door open,
Only then she cried aloud.
If I could skip across the hall,
Bathroom just across from my room,
It must be done without a sound
I would quickly zoom.
But if she saw me my sweet girl,
would loudly make it known
Cries interpreted “Aha! I see you!
Your cover has now been blown!”
Don’t be a Cinderfella
I aint no Cinderella
get off your **** and mow
don’t watch the weeds all grow.
Now if we’re being truthful
I need you to be useful
cause I don’t need no boy
I don’t want no toy.
I need a real damn man
who likes to lend a hand
someone to meet my needs
not afraid to take the lead.
If you can’t bring to the table
everything you are able
then take a bloody hike
get on ya pussy bike.
Don’t need no Cinderfella
cause I aint no Cinderella
I like to get things done
throw in a little fun.
A real man provides protection
has a real connection
Is a calm within the storm
has a heart that’s really warm.
A real man aint no Cinderfella
He shouldn’t need no Cinderella.
Chick - Chick - Chick - Chick - Chicken!
Write a little verse for me.
You've got romance in you
To share for all to see.
Chick - Chick - Chick - Chick - Chicken!
There's no need to shy away.
Let the juicy ink get flowing
Steam a saucy verse today!
As you've said, I'm Chick - Chick - Chicken
Could my face burn brighter red?
I'm afraid these special verses
Are only for my book and in my head.
So... this little Chick - Chick - Chicken
Will keep clucking on her funny way.
If she stews some saucy verses
She will send them to you private-lay...
Before I start this poem, I seek
To acknowledge that I sit on the land of the Wequaeesgeek
And that my laptop, at which I peer through thick glasses
drowns islands in the Pacific with greenhouse gases.
I know life has always given me the edge
Due to my Jewish Ashkenazi privilege.
And being male I'm in the patriarchy
At the top of the oppressive hierarchy.
I apologize for my pronoun being 'he'
At least it could have been 'they' or 'we'.
I apologize that all these apologies are fake
And for the real apologies that I didn't make.
Now back to my poem, it occurred at night
I can't let that idea fade, take flight
I didn't have a pen; I should have written it quick
I've lost the thread and now I feel sick.
When I went looking
For it today
I noticed that a certain Emoji
Has gone astray!
I thought I hadn't seen it,
Skipped past it and missed.
Several times I've searched
And it is not on my list.
It really comes to something
When out of your control,
On your own device,
An Emoji goes AWOL....
It's a funny looking thing
For its eyes are not placed
In a central position
But either side of its face!
With is mouth in shock,
It somehow got away
For I can't find it anywhere!
This Emoji went astray.
A billionaire died
after swallowing a bee.
I'm glad it wasn't you,
I'm glad it wasn't me.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Never used an umbrella
He dodged raindrops
Like a criminal flees cops
Wiggling like a bowl of jello
My rhythm is just awful
my rhyming’s out of sorts
As I light each poem’s tail
I hope that it aborts
Iambic pentameter
speaks not to my heart
Perhaps that is one reason
critics tear me apart
I’ve served my time: waited tables
washed cars, begged for money
Yet my poetry presents indifferently
worst of all ~ it ain’t even funny
Hardened my Heart
I tried to be soft hearted
warm, funny and kind
but it never ever worked
for this old heart of mine
So I hardened up my heart
learned to be more tough
knowing I was never ever
going to be enough
Love I never found
it never came around
I was used and abused
so I stood my ground
I gave up on the life
I thought was for me
I hardened my heart
and it felt more free
‘You get what you give’
and I gave a lot!
a saying not true
so now I’m not soft
Love passed me by
dealt a raw hand
A loveless life
not what I planned.
Put a clothesline over my front steps
hung my sweaty athletic wear over there
Amazon delivered a package
placed it strategically, under that line
Porch thieves came and took just one sniff
~ on this one they all whiffed
I am the warm embrace that breaks the chill,
The steady anchor when the waters rise,
I am the quiet peace that cures your ill,
The golden truth beneath untroubled skies.
I hold your trembling hand against the storm,
I guide your tired steps into the light,
To keep your fragile, weary spirit warm,
And watch you safely through the darkest night.
I am your faithful shield, your closest friend,
The heart that beats in rhythm with your own,
I promise I will guard you to the end,
So you will never have to walk alone.
Step closer now, and let me lock the door—
I am the surgeon, and you are on the floor.
He is not the brightest of guys
alone he could not survive
If he counts to twenty two
he removes both his shoes
Twenty he can count but ask for a hand
he needs more digits to understand
Draw a picture for Richard
Draw a picture for Richard
His name is Nick
but gets called a Dick
Draw a picture for Richard
He doesn't mean to be impolite
a coward he avoids all fights
He works all week but never gets paid
cause he is at the wrong place everyday
He gets fifty ballots in the mail
he votes each one no big deal
If they send them to him he votes to win
but it's last election that snail mail
Draw a picture for Richard
Draw a picture for Richard
His name is Nick
but gets called a Dick
Draw a picture for Richard.
Uncle Jim brought his new girlfriend to our Christmas tree lighting
She was eager, enthusiastic, joyful, funny, outrageously exciting
When they lit the tree, she broke out in song and sang every verse
We all agreed that Uncle Bill had brought home girls much worse
If you break up, can we keep her? We asked him
He pouted the rest of the day, our crazy Uncle Jim
I play the best instrument of all the boy said
We guessed drums, guitar, sax, stated Ned
“No, no, no,” he shook his head
We were out of idea by the time we went to bed
I’ll bring it by and play you a tune
He finally showed up late afternoon
It is an accordion! We thought this funny
Until he started making decent money
It seems weddings and funerals pay big
For those who bring an accordion to a gig
Who knew this? Who would have believed that?
He is now living in splendor, our friend, Matt
Along the fence there are flowers so I water them full stream
on the other side Cosmo watches hypnotize his eyes beam
I start to the left and spray to the right to Cosmo this is a delight
from the right spray back to the left and again from left to right
The flow of full water stream and Cosmo runs along
he barks and follows the water biting at it as he follows strong
Cosmo so eager the water splashing at the plants
in rhythm he runs beside it as if with the stream he dance
I water more than attended so Cosmo can play
he is such a funny big dog I resist on him to spray.