Humorous Rat Poems

dead rat in the road
flat rat in the road
as if placed without gore
more like a small fur rug
than a rodent
as it ran to its conclusion
not...

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Rats! Rats! Rats!
Romping, frolicing, ruckussy rats!
Cuddly, bubbly, lovably rats!
Pestering, menacing, troublesome rats!
Rats! Rats! Rats!

Getting in your hair
Crawling through open holes
Bouncing ‘round from chair to chair
Licking...

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In an old house there once lived a black cat
From half a mile she could smell a fat rat
She was too lazy to run
Liked to...

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A fat cat lived in a house on the mound 
From a mile she could smell the brat rat around 
She was too lazy to...

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There lives a puppy named Weasel
She's almost big as a diesel
Artists paint her on their easel
She can be found digging up bones

Her heart is as...

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A tank rat is a throwback to
Another place and time,
For somehow all that armor grew
Amidst primordial slime,
And now protects them in their crime.

At night, they...

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Year - end night here waits to birth 
Lovelier princess, vaccine girl   
Mountain high does labour earth  
Squeaking rat now, leaps for...

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I have a cat that wears no hat;
though her paws do love to bat,
her mice and balls,
all through my hall.

A clever cat,
a feisty cat,
I made...

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In an old house by the hedge on the cold ledge of the hill
A slim dainty lady of seventy had prime time plenty to kill
Sitting...

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Cohen’s a snitch, an eel,
A despicable squeal,
Why I once trusted this horrible man,
This sniveling lawyer whose life is a sham,
Is simply beyond me a momentary...

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When would earth's ribs collapse?
I'd laugh and drink my milk
From the sagging breast on its chest, unconcerned.
My heart would feel no pain nor remorse.

I often...

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There once was a cat that feared rats;
When he saw them, he hid under mats;
One day a rat, spied him and
Came up behind him;
Now he...

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Willy, the Rat Terrier

He nibbles on my nose.
Why? Heaven only knows!
Each tooth feels like a pin.
I need much thicker skin!
Yet Willy, the rat terrier,
could not...

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