Raccoon Poems

FACE TO FACE WITH A RACCOON

We have five feeders hanging on our porch…for the birds who frequent there
(and the occasional squirrels…who have no idea what it means to share.)

During the day while sitting on the porch..we love to watch birds come and go.
So many of these birds are regulars…ones we’ve come to know.

We bring these feeders in once the sun

Mixed Drink Sets Raccoon Straight

Hawaii is the place, raccoon decided, loving the idea of course
He sold his farm, plow, tractor, combine, goats, pigs and horse
Ran to Hawaii to sit on a pink beach and enjoy the sand
He said to his mixed drink, I have found the promised land!

The mixed drink began laughing and could not stop.
You have not seen

raccoon in the kitchen

sunday at grandmas
big hubbub in the kitchen
raccoon intruder

my woodland raccoons

he rummages through my trash at night
scurrying off in mist of daybreak
I rarely catch his masked face,
but sometimes glimpse his striped tail

he brings the family, they scavenge together
slapping each other when a cracker is larger than another
I watch them and laugh, they are entertaining
my woodland raccoons

RACCOON

I was walking the other morning as I do most every day
when up ahead I saw a car stop in the middle of the street…then quickly drive away.

I didn’t think much about this as I was enjoying the stars, the planets and the moon
until I realized that car…had run over a raccoon.

I thought it was

garbage can bandit

I sit on your garbage can and fiddle with a knob
Your back door shakes a bit, I search for a corn cob
Smash goes the lid to your aluminum garbage can
I am the man, I think now, I am the man!
You are in your kitchen, terrified to see that knob
Slowly move back and forth; my cousin

purple raccoon plans a surprise party

Purple raccoon decided to plan a surprise party.
He asked me for my advice, all hale and hearty.
Then I discovered it was for me, he is no smarty.
Is it a surprise? I asked. He nodded. A surprise party.

This is Raccoon Santa

I thought Santa wore red, the crow said to the owl.
Regular Santa, but this is raccoon Santa, the owl hooted.
What does that mean?
Watch and learn.

In a few minutes raccoons began following Blue Santa.
His costume was trimmed with white fur, but it was periwinkle.
Almost a purple blue.
The raccoons followed him to the middle of the pasture.

He

Raccoon Hunting

In the Dark I stand motionless
Staring across the moonlit landscape
We are together but I am alone
My thoughts consume me
The silence and isolation comforts me
My heart quickens as the music starts
A solitary howl piercing the night air
A crisp baritone shattering the stillness
Then silence and again the night possesses me
My ears strain against the quiet
Anticipating another chord
Suddenly

Bandits From the Woods Nursery Rhyme

Always together, they played
Never alone, lost or afraid,
They trudged through the woods
And all the surrounding neighborhoods,
Piercing the darkness with shiny flames,
Their eyes never revealing their names.

Always together, they delighted
In the games – wonderfully excited,
They plodded on through the night
Beneath stars and moon so bright
Carefully seeking the best garbage cans,
With paws that were suitable for hands

Always

Exasperated By Busy Body Cat

Roary Raccoon was dazzling in his orange banded witch’s hat.
Are you now a warlock? Asked his nemesis, Mr. Busybody Cat..
Roary’s loud sigh was not enough hint for this big buffoon.
Whose yowling is annoying every night next to the moon.

I am a stylish raccoon, Roary informed him in his plain way.
I can be an astronaut, physicist

Jerico Raccoon

Jerico the raccoon lived in the land of cherry blossom buds.
He enjoyed his corn, spaghetti, and well-cheesed up spuds.
His flatulence had a marvelous effect on the flowers so bright.
An aroma that stayed with these beauties all through the night.

Debonair Raccoon

Debonair raccoon had his pick of women of course.
He found them in the barn, cuddling next to the horse.
He liked them Rubenesque, reddish and round.
They gravitated him sleek and slick, marriage-bound.

The horse got jealous when Debonair took them away.
He liked female racoons. Many of them “made his day”.
They were eager to please, and their sense

The Same Raccoon

I saw a raccoon in the garage on Monday and Tuesday.
The same raccoon or two different raccoons?
I have no response, because I am unsure.
The next time I find one in the garage I will give it a hat.
Make it a bonnet or a cap.
Or possibly give it a vest or a belt.
That should do it,

Lilies Were Aghast At New Hybrid

Lilies were aghast at the new hybrid.
She was freckled with orange spots.
How dare she! They whispered.
Some tittered.
Until the garden club ladies appeared
Oohing and praising “spotted medallion orange”.
Now all the lilies wanted to befriend her.

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