Funny Pun Poems

Here’s Some Nice Poem By A, “Punny” Guy

Puns are nice, but I need a living
so I can get all life is giving,
but I don’t drive...

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When Hugh and Ron got drunk together
and pissed a lake of mighty size,
their eery neighbor also spilled it
and let his eery waters rise.
By far superior...

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We had a most horrid schoolteacher,
And us children did all hate her,
She’d shout at us for no real reason,
And threaten to see us later,
She had...

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In prepping for a funeral 
The family gathered in the hall
They sat there all mourning
Even though it was nightfall

He had eaten lots of vegetables
Yet, he...

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My teacher who thought sun-bathing made her well-red,
graded me average, she was mean to the power hundred.

She was once a banker, but after some time...

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Don’t take for granite who you are
Just be a little boulder
Remember that you’re made of stars
And someday when you’re older

You may be a marble statue
That...

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What would you call the young hatchling, for fun,
Of a buzzard crossed with a flamingo?
The answer is moot ’cause it couldn’t be done,
So the joke...

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When Toby removed to Paree
The people all called him Tobee.
   “That’s not me,” he’d plead,
   Then finally concede
To be, not to...

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A lot of the limericks I’ve known
Were composed for adult ears alone.
   I guess that applies
   To this one likewise,
If the...

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The Higgs observation just ran up the score on
Mere mortals who can’t understand what it shows; on
Attempting, I feel like both bozo and moron,
Which makes...

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He said he was on quite a spree.
I asked what his next crime would be.
   I meant it in jest,
   As...

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Show me yours
And I will show you mine
Can I interest you in a game of Doctors and Nurses 
Can I interest you in something purple
To...

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I had an IPod problem!
I fixed it, this is how!
I named the thing "Titanic",
by God, it's "syncing" now!

I was wondering where the sun goes?
I stayed...

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For The Pun Of It
(Limerick Suite)

There's the absent minded professor
He was a known fancy cross dresser
Male or female who knew
He walked funny too
Leaving everyone a...

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