Pun Poems

A Good Pun is its Own Reword

A photon checked into a hotel,
a rather interesting sight.
It was asked "Do you have luggage?"
It said, "No, I'm travelling light."

When I'm at home I like to read books,
and relax in my dressing gown.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I just can't put it down.

Staying in shape is important,
of that there is no doubt.
I keep trying to

Christmas Pun

In "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens
there are four notable ghosts or apparitions;
and of that quartet of wondrous ghosts
the Ghost of Christmas Presents is the one I like the most!

Here we go again

Here we go again (pun intended),
Some points raised but poorly defended.
     Opinions are not facts.
     But ignoring contracts,
Don’t sit well however well intended.

Here’s Some Nice Poem By A, Punny Guy

Here’s Some Nice Poem By A, “Punny” Guy

Puns are nice, but I need a living
so I can get all life is giving,
but I don’t drive and can’t afford a chauffeur.
Each job I’ve tried just turns and kicks me.
I’m broke and need someone to, “fix” me.
If I could bake some bread, I’d be a, “loafer.”

I need

Hugh, Ron, Eery

When Hugh and Ron got drunk together
and pissed a lake of mighty size,
their eery neighbor also spilled it
and let his eery waters rise.
By far superior was another
with depths of thirteen hundred feet.
His superiority was awesome
which Hugh, Ron, Eery couldn’t beat.
Below them lay Ontario Lago,
a bloke whose name is not much fun
because no matter how I

The Trip

Cat said it's purrfect
Owl said it's a hoot
And so ...
The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea!

Crocodile Tears

We had a most horrid schoolteacher,
And us children did all hate her,
She’d shout at us for no real reason,
And threaten to see us later,
She had a dip on a Florida trip,
And was swallowed by an alligator,
But only crocodile tears were shed,
‘Cos we were all just … gladiator!

Food For Thought

Food for Thought...

You want puns?
How about on buns?

Written word fun
From the fruits of the Earth's sun

Thought about cruisin' on my bike to grab some grub, but it was two-tired. 
Decided to ask the cow out to the Stampede, but he was grounded.

Caught some fish that was wailing from some a-salt and batterin'.
Went to the vineyard

Pun Fun

If you were long-winded
but no pun in ten did,
do you lack humor’s art,
or was that a long fart?

Once a pun, a thyme, a sage
got tossed for smoking in a bar;
It seems bad jokes are not in season;
close, but no cigar.

A glutton for punishment -
Never sausage a thirst!
He grinned at the butcher,
Now, give me your wurst!

—————

for

The Pun Fun In Funeral With a Little Onion Breath

In prepping for a funeral 
The family gathered in the hall
They sat there all mourning
Even though it was nightfall

He had eaten lots of vegetables
Yet, he passed on in his suite
Must have still had too much sugar 
And not enough heart beets

A farmer by trade, he grew 
Not just beets but onions too
When he passed, they

Pun Fun

My teacher who thought sun-bathing made her well-red,
graded me average, she was mean to the power hundred.

She was once a banker, but after some time lost interest,
wanted to be a pilot, her career could take off for the best.

She thought to be able to fly high, could be very uplifting,
instead she bought a boat, for

Pun Fun

I went to see the "Rolling Stones"- they rocked! 
I had two tickets to see "Cher" in concert, I kept them both 
A "Moody Blues" concert got cancelled, I heard they couldn't tolerate each other 
Never did get to see the "Beatles" in concert, that really bugged me 
I went to a "Rush" concert, it

Footle Pun

FOOTLE AS A PUN 

rondeau

around

A Fun Pun

There is a pun for fun.
Is it for none?
Is it for one?
Or is it for some?

Does it last a while?
Does it come in a gentle smile? 
Is it in a wonderful style?
Or do we just store it in a file?

Does it bring in warmth of the heart?
Does it bring in an amazing start?
Can we walk

Rock On

Don’t take for granite who you are
Just be a little boulder
Remember that you’re made of stars
And someday when you’re older

You may be a marble statue
That the pebbles gaze upon
And the world shale marvel at you
And of quartz you will rock on.

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