Humorous Prose Poetry Poems

The ocean is a wild beast that I approach cautiously.
I submit to its undertow. It makes me laugh expansively.
I dive in, never turn my back,...

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I woke up inside a capsized boat.
What if I get cut on a coral reef?
What if I get stranded for four years like Tom Hanks?
What...

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Have you ever reached
into that bag of goodies
that is your life
and experienced 
that tummy-dropping sensation
when you find it
to be a tad empty
a little short-handed
not containing...

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You may call me Mrs. V the woman told new workers.
I am the manager, so I manage what you do.
She is also an overseer, and...

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I never did like old people
Still don’t
Which is why I never plan to be one.
I stayed in my art studio, painting up a storm

Got nine...

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Redneck dad was determined to not like his daughter’s beau.
He was from the other side of the bush, the money side.
His parents were probably stuck...

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I have one of those faces that tells on me
As sure as if I had opened my mouth
The crowd around the table is laughing
They all...

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Today was full of paperwork; not my favorite thing.
Not my least favorite thing either – that is cleaning.
No one despises paperwork and cleaning like I...

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the child is six, and sharp
I knew this when he said “that looks like a DNA tester.”
What is a DNA tester? I asked.
“You know. You...

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let’s try it this way, the wife suggested.
It was all wrong, though, and they both knew it
They had fallen in love with the art because...

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a drop of fossilized tree resin
incasing a prehistoric ant
sold by auction on the internet
informed of this delightful offering, bidding gets outrageous

a drop of fossilized tree...

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they were reading our minds, grandma
who? she asked, concerned
the aliens!
The ones from planet X474Z!

She knew they were having fun with their Uncle Larry.
He had a...

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The night, it's night
              permanently...
       ...

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I could not wait to stop wearing maternity clothes.
I had been pregnant for 9 months I 1971
and then for another 9 months in 1973.
You can...

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Gucci really outdid themselves on this outfit.
I clap way longer than the others.
I stand up and whistle and hoot too.
Someone escorts me out, for I...

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