Cookery Programs
Chunky fists hit the kitchen sink...hard
on every TV channel.
So manly, they are not queers
but 100% men,
No flowery aprons for us.
Cooking was what women did before,
but no more,
Now you get the Sunday roast with added
aggression and swearing.
The kitchen has been turned into
a battlefield of egocentric men who´s
The ambition is to be the best in
the rarefied world of cookery
It is not about you, the diner.
When the kitchen soldiers put food
on your plate,
They try to make it into a work of art
When all you wanted was a steak and fried onions
at a friendly price.
Just how many babies
Are swapped at birth
With a look alike other
That other being
Some demon or some
Illegal Alien exchange program
Being covertly done
Right under our very noses
In broad daylight
In maternity wards worldwide
I should know
Being born with bi-fid thumbs
And six toes on each foot
Yet, it has to be my sister
She's wicked smart
Perhaps, too smart for her own good
And she has a big head
She’s got to be one
Of course, what’s a little culture shock too
Beings' stranger in a Strangeland
After walking the long long walk
Can’t even talk the strange talk
Seeking asylum from oppression
Seeking the land of Liberty
Feel free to wear their worn-out sandals
They’ll gladly trade for your Michael Jorden Nikes
Then again, maybe the exchange comes later
Some babysitter’s smuggling ring
Except she promises to turn your little rascal
Into an angel, for real
Still criminal but God ordained
I became a victim of the/
Government Psychic/
Operations Program/
With radionic and psionic technology/
The voice to skull is torture/
But, they can't break me/
They tell me to confess/
I refuse, I never done that/
They body possess me/
I will not give in/
They squeeze my liver/
They squeeze my organs/
Telling me to confess/
To things I never done/
I refuse to let them/
Silence and suppress me/
They lower my heart beat/
They lower my blood pressure/
They bring me to the brink of death/
I still refuse to give in/
They resort to voice to mouth/
I still refuse to admit/
To things I never done/
They body possess me/
So? I can do the same thing/
The feeling and emotions possession/
Are easy to fight/
The thought to skull/
Is easy to fight/
I thought we were the/
Land of the free.../
Vast sums of money
enormous chunks of time
All spent on losing weight ~
usually ruined by dinnertime
It's really quite easy
now I know that sounds cheezy
But here's the one thing that works, brother
Sell your car today, and don't buy another
You'll walk everywhere
have little time to spare
for banquets and luncheons
or to lie around potato chip munchin'
And even if this radical step doesn't work
you have my personal guarantee
I'll sell your car back to you for what you took from me
~ sure enjoyed driving it for free
Charles Babbage
The full package
His invention tidal bore
Led to computers galore!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd place: ABCD Clerihew - 4 Lines contest; Sponsored by Joseph May
We all have gathered here together
And we have to leave together
Let us promise to each other
To shape our future better
A small act of remembrance,
Will bring an iota of fragrance,
Let us prove our excellence,
By utilizing our brilliance
Let us always have zeal and zest
To do things to our level best
To say everything in a gist
Le us have good plans in our list!
I'm utterly a hermetic swarm of chemicals.
Our atoms are uniquely spotted over medicals.
Inside every iota arise unique waves of strenuosity.
It is stunning since we're concerned not to see.
The intensity waves in the query are identical.
In each one of us?In the enduring genetical?
Hence, it is the idea of genuine humanity.
My inner being is made up mainly of vitality.
Our planet is a satellite girding a stellar body.
On a heroic endeavor as you rest adequately.
There's a compelling goal needs to echo left or right.
All is cautiously stowed to a programmed flight.
While lying in bed wheezing and having a dream
You'd be flabbergasted at the spots will redeem.
You'd have beheld the divine cores in their glory.
What might have ensued will stall you ever-lively?
The eternal truth, however, is a lot as well peculiar.
If you didn't foresee Earth is, in eternal fact, flatter.
There's a compelling reason that needs to unfold more.
It's superb that we didn't all fall on a live shore.
Written: April 22, 2022
A country is made with
men and books!
In the government of poetry,
less brute force and
more poetic production...
Here is my platform of
policy, government program:
Poetry as daily entertainment,
poetry as daily bread!
Everything else is solved...!
W-indy Thursday night
H-as turned into warm Friday;
E-vening shadows disappear,
N-ew dawn leaves the
G-ray.
C-oal clouds twentieth January
H-ave changed into white;
A-nother day has broken,
V-iew has set things aright.
E-arly childhood needs education, the youth learn to take exam;
Z-ealously bring your kid to the summer pre kindergarten program.
Old as in a TV program
I watched a TV program set in an older people home
there was a murder with a pillow done by a nurse who stole
valuable items from the week and feeble patience.
Well, our detective solved the case and the owner of the home
was in this foul deed he sold the stolen items.
So far, so good, what I disliked was the patient killed was
eighty years old as was the other at this home.
For the first time in my life, I realized I was one of them
and I got suspicious are people at supermarket patronizing
I, when I make my feeble jokes, does the waiter at the cafe
serves me first in case I get elderly grumpy.
Can I trust that people speak to me as an equal and no someone
they have agreed within a concern of my age.
Are my opinions dismissed as an older man´s prattle?
I can´t bear the thought of being patronized by anyone except
my wife, she has always thought I´m mad.
I have no friends. All I can do is talking to myself.
Yogi the Bear
steals picnic basket
gets euthanized
Face time
There you are.
Um…
Gone now.
It is either text or nothing at all.
Some of my friends never hear from their children
Because they do not have I-phones.
I do because I had to learn to text,
Because my children's generation does not call.
I do not even know what their voices sound like.
I doubt I would recognize them any more on a phone.
What about Face time?
Until they perfect it, no thank you.
It’s a video of a child or grandchild waving
and then
Blip.
They are gone
So annoying!
I had a red jeep once,
my husband rigged it up with
Christmas lights on the running board.
I was puffed up about it.
My grandparents had the best
Christmas lights; they were jewel-toned,
and bubbled up and down, like a lava lamp,
before lava lamps were a thing, back in
the 50's.
my parents had the same boring, drab,
fat-bulbed red, blue, green, and orangish-yellow
Christmas lights. We wanted something better, but
these were already paid for.
The best Christmas light was the time I put on a Sunday
School play with 85 children. My vision was to rig up a giant
white star in the back of someone's pick up truck, and the children and their parents would all follow the lit up star from the church to
the sale barn, which was our stable.
I had to call all of the people in the church directory, because no one could figure out how to do it until I reached a man whose last name began with a Z. I think I can do that he said, and he did!
I will never forget the awesomeness of this Christmas light though; it was my all-time favorite Christmas light. The procurement of it was awful at the time, but is so sweet in the memory now. So worth the trouble!
Program Sonnet
Integer, Parameter:: L=14, S=10
!L number of lines, S number of syllables per line
Character (Len=6):: Syl(L, S)
Character (Len=80):: Line (L)
Do I=1,L
Do J=1,S
Syl(I,J)=
! here is where you insert
! the poetic thought the computer
!cannot produce
Enddo
Enddo
Do I=1,L
Line(I)=Syl(I,1)
Do J=2,S
Line(I)=trim(Line(I))//trim(Syl(I,J))
Enddo
Enddo
! If you want a rhyming sonnet, start subroutine rhyme
If (line.eq.good) then
Keep
Else
Revise
Endif
Do I=1,L
Write (*,*) Line(I)
Enddo
End Program Sonnet
! October 16, 2018
! For contest all 'dim ones and zeros- A programming contest
! Sponsored by Brahn Bailey
confounded, confused
cliffhanger, like a hangnail
unpleasant when there’s no icing
a program diet
stamping my feet
“it had a cult following”
who can resist the pie man
a charming, untouchable chap
quirky characters included
the one minute tell all
from the living dead
murder like a pie in the face
and the same is true
of American Dreams
made it to the chopping block
7/7/2018
Television shows: Pushing Daisies and American Dreams left me wanting more
Quirky things that confound and confuse me contest
Sub Categories
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