When I visited Victor today,
overwhelming stench drove me away.
We stood outside and talked.
I complained, and he balked:
“Don’t be mean. I can’t help it. OKAY?”
He let loose with a string of loud pops.
Neighbors fearing gunfire called the cops!
There would be no arrest,
but at neighbors’ behest,
they said, “Sir, make sure this problem stops.”
The police are now summoned no more.
There’s a problem, but not like before,
one that cannot be heard;
thus, no neighbors are stirred,
fearing terror of gunplay’s in store.
Victor has diarrhea a lot,
spending hours a day on the pot.
I declared, “We will go
to the doctor. He’ll know
how to diagnose just what you’ve got!”
Sugar-free treats, as Victor now knows,
were the cause of his gas and poop woes.
Way too many he ate.
Though he thought they were great,
doctor’s orders he did not oppose.
Victor called: “Come and visit me, please.”
I approached his front porch; on the breeze,
came an unpleasant smell.
Before long I could tell
he loves pintos and limburger cheese!
Categories:
pintos, food, friendship, hyperbole,
Form: Limerick
Based on painting by Bev Doolittle: Woodland Encounter
American West in Camouflage
Two Indians* hide, in the birch forest,
and ride their pintos, hooves pitting the snow.
Conspicuous - red fox in clearing - sights
quiet stride of hide and seek…trenchant ears
at peak performance in centralized cope
…sentient sentinel highlights canvas.
3/28/2022
Bite Size Poem #41
Sponsor: Line Gauthier
*Native Americans
Categories:
pintos, animal, imagery, native american,
Form: Ekphrasis
Had Been Sitting With Both Feet
Had been sitting with both feet below seat;
After that did end up between each sheet;
With Ten toes,
Everyone knows;
Walk down street on when we would meet.
Jim Horn
Pintos do not have ten toes but four hooves,
While on tops of houses you will find rooves;
Wrinkles wound,
All around;
Grow old and in face may find many groves.
Jim Horn
Categories:
pintos, allegory, analogy,
Form: Limerick
I’m just a painter, dressed in white
In your office, painting all night
Never to see me, gone before light
Been told by your boss, you don’t like the smell
Here to please you, said what the hell
As long as they pay, all will be swell
Now during the night, while moving your desk
Rolled out from under, something grotesque
Left over I’m sure, Christmas burlesque
Next time my dear, watch out for your stock
Guy beside you, he left a sock
Not from Christmas, now I’m in shock
All have nice families, seen in the photos
Girl in the corner, lots of mementos
Guy with the sock though, he drives two Pintos
Painting near done, seen all your shows
Don’t feel so bad, that’s how it goes
Next time good people, don’t leave the clothes
The boss left beside you, a flat folding box
Place all your stuff in, including the clocks
It wasn’t just put there, to throw out pet rocks
Well now that I’m done, hope you enjoy
Color you look at, have to be coy
Couldn’t tell you, colorblind boy
Categories:
pintos, humor, work,
Form: Rhyme
i am at the part of unfortunate decision
fake flowers in hand and a dusty prayer
hesitation has a cup of warm pintos with country ham with me
i am the defiant source of a sticky glue's periodic periodical
nothing else matters for i make myself inanimate
precious memories are pickled in a jar of overtly potent vinegar
i am a lost soul feeling frigid in a deserted desert foundation
windchime sandstorms bully me with its unevenly rhythmic syncopation
since becoming an unbalanced liar, i have become a role model for truths untold
i never thought that my ice box character presentation could be so calmly bold
i have been zombie with a bad case of bubbleguts ever since that morning of "the circle ride"
i am at the part of unfortunate decision
heavy exhalation standstill experimenting with a lever similar to a disoriented h. george wells
Categories:
pintos, lost, moving on,
Form: Free verse
Fresh peppers, onions sauteed
Lean, lean ground beef browned
Tempting aroma surrounds
Chopped fresh herbs sizzle
Juicy tomatoes
Pintos, too
Zing!
Inspired by: Andrea Dietrich and Lunch
Contest:MAKE ME DROOL WITH EPULAERYU
Written: November 05, 2014
Form: Epulaeryu
Categories:
pintos, food,
Form: Epulaeryu
Fierce Im a fire blazing
Heat sweeping through the plains
Singed wheat blowing smoke signals
Powerful Im the rain storming
Downpour letting out the aches and pain
Flood water washing the evidence away
Gentle Im the wind pushing
Drying the blood from battles played
Gusts blow the tears from cheeks
Firm Im the earth - breathing
Warmth and healing in the night and day
Hand painted pintos lead the way
Categories:
pintos,
Form: Free verse
Usually a pound of ground
with black beans abound
pintos are good for your heart
cannellini start
pepper, tomatoes
green chiles
mix!
Jalapeno, seeded, minced
chop one onion rinced
six cloves of garlic thrown in
use olive oil then
chili powder blend
spice a lot
HOT!
Categories:
pintos, food, love,
Form: Epulaeryu
The First Time I Cooked Pinto Beans
By Elton Camp
I wanted to eat some pintos
So I cooked up a pot of those
And when done, I tried a bite
Found they didn’t seem right
Didn’t know stones to dispose
Categories:
pintos, funny
Form: Rhyme
Parsnips say I, oh please try them, do,
For Parsnips are so good for you!
But no, you just won’t try them, will you.
Instead, you stomp and cry and stew.
You’d rather waste your time with lettuce.
Fine for you, but please don’t tell us,
That what we need is more brown rice.
I think you’re just not very nice.
So off I go to eat with Martin.
He loves his pintos and just keeps fartin’
For taste is simply a personal matter
So, instead, I’ll just throw my parsnips at her.
Your lettuce wilts and rice gets sticky.
Oh, my, the food you like is icky.
So here I sit alone to stutter…
Please go and leave me with my peanut butter!
Or even my nice sweet chocolate bar.
To get it I would travel far,
Beyond the endless bars of salad.
So ends this trite but tasty ballad.
Categories:
pintos, childhood, food, children, funny,
Form: Couplet