How about when stores jack up their prices
Then reduce them and call it a sale
I've been on to these devious practices for years
Their attempt to bamboozle us has failed
Annoying commercials that treat us like morons
As if we're gonna fall for that stuff
Like if you brush with mint flavoured toothpaste
Your sweetie will greet you in the buff
How about optometrists with really bad breath
As they lean over to adjust that eye thing
More than once I nearly passed out in the chair
Need a sign on the door with a warning
Or when you're at a game with the whole family
And a guy gets drunk and obnoxious
Using every cuss word ever known to mankind
You wish you could muzzle this ignoramus
You pay scads of dough for a vacation down south
And it rains every day of your stay
Your condo smells like the back end of a donkey
A most forgettable vacation I'd say
Well I'm sure most people can relate to these
You probably have a bunch of your own
Should be a service called Pet Peeves Anonymous
Or a help line you could contact by phone
I truly loathe it when friends
keep their cell phones on when they are with me.
“I have to take this,”they say.
Why? Aren’t I important enough to pay attention to?
I also dislike it when people interrupt.
When it is finally my turn at the cashier
And some bully comes from the back
and demands their attention and they say
“Excuse me “and pay attention to the bully.
I guess they don’t want my business anymore.
I have other pet peeves.
A big one….
When a teacher lets an out-of-control child
take the rest of the class hostage, and all
teaching stops.
Worst pet peeve – when the teacher finally gives her power away
Sending the bully child to the office and the
principal sends him back in five seconds, and the
real attention seeking begins.
I guess my biggest pet peeves are bullies
and disrespect.
A dog took a dump near the bench where I’m sitting.
The owner stood by ‘til his dog was done ting,
Then lazily did a poor job with his scooping,
Thus leaving the smelly remains of the pooping.
A breeze came along and the odor came drifting.
I tried with my body to block it by shifting,
Without any luck, so I’m stuck here with smelling
A scent that my senses find rather repelling.
Oh, walkers of canines, please note your surroundings
And give it your best picking up your pet’s moundings.
You should be aware that the remnants you’re leaving
Are causing your neighbors a little pet peeving.
Everybody has them - whether they admit it or not.
Sometimes they're the same - as what others have got.
Whether it's a lack of communication - or not getting a word in edgewise.
Pretending to be someone you're not - being always in disguise.
Trying to get into - or staying in the popular crowd.
Straining to hear a whisper - or worse yet when someone's way too loud!
Being on your electronic devices - when you have company.
In some cases may chase your friends away - making you sad and lonely.
Perhaps their bodily noises annoy you most - when their manners have gone astray.
Or their only vocabulary seems to be vulgarity - and from them run away.
Maybe it's that they only hang around you - when you have something that they need.
Living their lives in the fast lane - their hearts are filled with greed!
When you accept someone into your life - you take them as they are.
So you'll just have to push their Pet-Peeves into the highest star.
Try to concentrate on finding something good - in each and every one.
And be thankful for what they've given you- when the day is done!
Three things I hate most in life,
And struggle in my fight and strife.
I hate to see people lie.
They say they can justify,
For them lies have colors.
For me lies are bad manners.
For them lying is as easy as eggs.
For me lies have very short legs.
I also hate people with excuses,
Though this will be of no uses.
For he who excuses himself,
Does nothing but accuse himself.
I also hate coming late to any activity,
For this is a sign of naivety.
'Better be late than never',
Is the weakest excuse ever.
Better come early than late,
As if coming to a blind date.
I hope one day the world will be,
Rid of these pet peeves and ever happy.
How about when stores jack up their prices
Then reduce them and call it a sale
I've been on to these devious practices for years
Their attempt to bamboozle us has failed
Annoying commercials that treat us like morons
As if we're gonna fall for that stuff
Like if you brush with mint flavoured toothpaste
Your sweetie will greet you in the buff
How about optometrists with really bad breath
As they lean over to adjust that eye thing
More than once I nearly passed out in the chair
Need a sign on the door with a warning
Or when you're at a game with the whole family
And a guy gets drunk and obnoxious
Using every cuss word ever known to mankind
You wish you could muzzle this ignoramus
You pay scads of dough for a vacation down south
And it rains every day of your stay
Your condo smells like the back end of a donkey
A most forgettable vacation I'd say
Well I'm sure most people can relate to these
You probably have a bunch of your own
Should be a service called Pet Peeves Anonymous
Or a help line you could contact by phone
© Jack Ellison 2013
Here's some of my favourite pet peeves
Construction, potholes, and speed bumps
A bald person with a bad fitting hair piece
Or soup with unidentified lumps
Public washrooms that stink to high heaven
Or when someone sneezes nine times
People that pick their noses in public
Kids eating with their fingers full of grime
People making bodily function noises
On a bus, at a concert or in church
Friends that promise a late night ride home
Then get drunk and leave you in the lurch
Mosquitoes, spiders, rats and lizards
Although not necessarily in that order
Someone who totally screws up a punch line
Getting held up for hours at the border
People that talk to non living objects
Like computers, teddy bears, and cars
Handshakes that resemble a cold wet fish
Cracking knuckles, most annoying by far
There certainly is a whole bunch more
I'm sure everyone's got some of their own
It's just human nature so go with the flow
Ignore them and try not to moan!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Nothing pisses me off the most
than two Tom cats upon a post
tirelessly, persistently, crying
at three o'clock in the early morning.
A thing I'm not keen and tolerant of
class Aves defecators’ way up above
flying, flighty, feathery thugs
pooping on my Volkswagen bug.
You all may find these peeves ridiculous
but often I find myself defenseless
against meowing cats’ hysteria
and a flock of birds with diarrhea.
I'm not averse to all animal rights
just these two things that happen every night!
I find that the kind of people that list off their pet peeves
are the kind of people around whom it is difficult to breathe.
In so many words they seem to say ''Everything revolves around me.''
Who cares if you don't like the way people stir their tea?
Can you imagine standing in front of a king, him handing you the kingdom keys
as you list off all your pet peeves?
Its not the proper time to say you don't like snapping of fingers,
when he has all the power in the world to put your neck through the wringer.
Yes, to God above and most around us, we are each but a speck
if you're to ask someone to change, you're apt to hear ''Like Heck!''
So let's all push our dislikes aside
And like what we like and be satisfied.
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