fanciest finest pumpkin man from Timbuktu
Just danced past us wearing the snazziest shoe
adorned in striped pantaloons and matching vest
he is by far much more gallant than the rest
Lace on his sleeves, gold trim on his brocade vest
He truly is the produce patch's snazziest
pink satin ribbon adorning his tall top hat
shows us this pumpkin man is “truly all that”
I watch the TV show The Voice and laugh off my pantaloons
The judges are hilarious, better than cartoons or old buffoons
People ask me all the time why I love this singing show so much
Because II am a part of the judging panel, feeling completely in-touch.
Annette Kellerman is famous for an event that may have never happened
There is no record of it, but the story is good
She is famous for wearing a one-piece bathing suit in 1907
Nineteen and assertive, she pooh-poohed the dress-pantaloons of the time
Many were outraged,
but this was the beginning of the end of the cumbersome suits
She paved the way for women to wear “Annette Kellermans”
as the one-piece suits were called.
There was a wide rumor that she had been arrested for wearing a one-piece.
Research has provided no basis for this rumor.
Annette was progressive.
In 1919 she was the first women to appear fully nude in a movie.
It was called A Daughter of the Gods
Don’t look for it
No copies exist
She was a professional swimmer, an actress and a writer.
Doing her Australian heritage proud.
Charlotte the fancy hippo put on airs all the time
her clock was better than most, it had a lovely chime
She had the fanciest laces on her pantaloons, for sure.
Charlotte confided that she had sweet smelling manure
Some believed her but others knew much better.
We had smelled her gas through her jeans and sweater.
Today she is on a swing bragging it is the best around.
Some of us are hoping it breaks and she ends up on the ground.
When I spot a squirrel
It is never common, ordinary or naked
They are usually fully dressed without a smile
The one I spied this morning wore a blue shirtwaist
When she ran up a tree, I saw white eyelet on her pantaloons
I wisely keep some of these observations to myself.
Rhymes in Nine 2 10-11-24 Rhymes checked with www.rhymezone Picture #4
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Fall Rhapsody
Fall rhapsody to BEGIN, TOLD IN scarlet tones,
A SERENADE for strings in a PARADE of russet GOLD hues -
A JUBILEE for acorns and for oaks in an autumn harvest JAMBOREE.
Maple LEAVES BLUSH in SHEAVES of firelight crimson choruses
Courtly LOVE sung like minuets OF twilight THRUSH vespers
MERRY harmonies of CRANBERRY aria odysseys.
Trees FESTOONED in UMBER pantaloons cast off MAROONED melodies
Twilight breezes FAN a cinnamon TAN pup in SLUMBER -
Orange opus CALLS when fall RECALLS harvest harmony.
Picture on the Parlor Wall 9-27-24
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Sampler on the Parlor Wall
Shadows born from dawdling light
Stretch across a firelit room set with porcelain cups,
From tea parties long ago and faraway,
With an invitation to sample sweets and savories
Like the sampler on the parlor wall.
Beneath neat rows of alphabets stories gather,
Verses stitched with silk and dreams
And numbers that taught a woman’s craft –
A child’s wishes fly with birds and lady bugs –
Wishes to convince a suitor at the door of her wifely worth
In tidy stitches foreshadowing an orderly life.
A young lady-girl in pantaloons and blue sashes
Weaves circles of symphonic dots in French wheels
While lazy daisy chains meander on her linen fields -
Magic flares in her zigzag lines, her wishes on wooly stars.
No signature remains from her little hand -
Her hearth, her home, her heart –
Only a legacy of butterflies and roses sampled on a parlor wall
And a tiny scarlet dot of imperfection like a signature remains
Embroidered into a sampler embracing each dawn and dusk.
Gussied up Frog Lady is proper but not prim.
Her grotesque legs are thick and spotted, not thin.
She wears pantaloons with lace of cotton white.
Her stretched out undershirt is way too tight.
Frog Lady tries to put her pinkie up to drink.
Her fingers are webbed, and nothing is pink.
We can tell she is trying to be better than us.
She is an arrogant woman, says Mrs. McGus.
Sir Reginald Fly-eating Frog is dapper and tall
Women swarm around him when he goes to the mall.
Some scream their appreciation as if Elvis is near.
He is my cousin, and I try to tell them he’s not really that dear.
He is dapper and distinguished though one argues toward me.
I look at him and roll my eyes, I know him better than thee.
I think it’s his jumping legs that puts their pantaloons in a spin.
He is diabolical too, truly not a catch, in no way a win.
Those madcap Victorian horsewomen were super confident
Silly when you realize they were riding at breakneck speeds, sidesaddle
In those day a woman did not know it was okay to wear pants.
The closest thing she could be caught alive in would be pantaloons.
I am staring at the screen years later, wondering ….
Do they break their tailbones when they fall off?
Or do their bustles serve as a landing pillow?
Methinks I'm overdoing these pep talks
You people must be tired and bored
I hereby announce, going back to the sillies
Worry not, it's off my own accord
A niche that's always been my cup of tea
Poetry that includes lots of humour
Get quite a kick out of making folks laugh
Losing my smile's just a rumour
So here we go, are you ready for this stuff
I'm afraid it can get a bit hokay
What did the water say to the cruise ship?
Nothing, it just waved... okay-dokay
Now wasn't that extremely thoughtful of me
Coming up with this comedic gem
I'm not just another pretty face you know
I'm real kind and a genuine friend
Are you ready to bust a gut laughing again
Well maybe I'm exaggerating a bit
Are you ready to pee in your pantaloons
Oops sorry! No off colour quips
I've always been known as a rebellious sort
But I've tried hard to mend my ways
So it's nothing but sillies from this day forward
You can bet all your hard earned pay!
They drew straws to see who would choose first.
A dainty curly-haired girl with blue eyes drew the long straw.
“I choose the white crocodile please!”
The other children gasped, surprised.
“That would have been my last choice!” many said to each other.
“He matches my go-go boots, lace pantaloons and curtains,” said the girl.
The crocodile was pleased too. He had his eye on this girl for a little while.
Her skin looked so pink and tasty.
Sweetie pie in your red and white dress and bows on your head,
Your blonde hair makes a pretty ponytail the lady said.
Your chubby pink cheeks indicates your age around two
Those eyelet trimmed stiff legged pantaloons look terrific on you.
Darling girl with a glowing complexion perfect and fine.
I adore seeing you wearing that old red dress of mine.
You make it look fresh, I sing out into the world with glee.
Did not look that great on grandma and that would be me.
The witch with pizzazz had her chunky legs on display.
Showing off her striped socks and pantaloons to many today.
Why does she sit like that? A younger uninformed lad said.
She is an older witch whose fashion sense curls up in her head.
The witch with pizzazz had a laugh that made us all think.
She was delectable and delightful, like a clean kitchen sink.
She roared to earth pushing her legs against the night air.
We saw that she dressed with absolute infamous care.
How about using a soft comfy material?
You are being silly. Those materials are for men.
Women like being uncomfortable.
Having the tight elastic garter belt stuck in their crack.
Rubbing against their cheeks, rubbing them raw and red.
Okay, what about this idea – giving them some open legged underwear.
Are you crazy? So someone else can reach under there and get my goods?
Your goods? I thought they were MY goods.
My grandma said that pantaloons were great; they came off and on fast.
Your grandma said this!
Before grandpa snapped a chastity belt on her of course.
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