Miss piglet is at it again,
her blonde wigs, here we go,
her jealousy it always shows.
Her clothes are tight,
her lashes are glued,
she loves to fight and throwing her shoes.
Her claim to fame was loving a frog,
he thought she was crazy,
and away he dodged.
She loved her bon, bons
she guzzled her liquor,
her piggy temper flowed even quicker.
Her oinks and squeals,
her high heels,
her red lips and long piggy tail.
She always blamed him,
he was always wrong,
I somehow felt sorry for that poor little frog.
"ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, and an oink or two"
Categories:
oinks, character, for her, funny,
Form: Rhyme
Had brekkie at our local coffee joint
Key word is fast but it doesn't disappoint
Two minutes tops
It was teeming with cops
Think I may have heard a plethora of oinks
Categories:
oinks, humor,
Form: Limerick
The farmer cocked his rifle and glared down upon the turkey
It wasn’t mist that made the farmyard and the turkey murky
His muddy specs and ageing eyes had made his vision blurred
And as he wiped his grimy specs he said this to the bird…
“Some folk say I ought to starve; my eyesight ain’t so hot,
But I ensured I heard the voice of everything I shot.
I bagged myself some lovely pork, you should’ve heard him oink
He hit the deck with quite a thud… his oink became a BOINK.
“My beef is fresh, as fresh as you, oh boy did that cow moo,
The racket he kicked up was like a knees-up at the zoo.
That tasty cow is gonna make a cupboard full of jerky,
But all their oinks and all their moos ain’t gonna give me turkey.”
The farmer aimed his rifle at the poor old turkey’s head
He squinted as he muttered, “You’re my dinner so you’re dead.
So say your prayers because my shot you never will inhibit.”
But then the turkey hopped around while yelling, “Ribbit, Ribbit!”
Categories:
oinks, christmas, farm,
Form: Rhyme
Maybe a role reversal would be in order
And us guys could take it or leave it
Whatta mind-blowing experience that would be
The ladies simply couldn't conceive it
Exciting? You ain't just whistling Dixie
There's a stirring deep down in my loins
Sexual in nature maybe my jockeys are too tight
Sometimes I let out a few oinks
Sure would be great to see how that works out
To turn the tables on the ladies
I'd say, “I have a bad headache, maybe December
Right now I'm baking some pastries”
Can you just imagine the look on their faces
They'd start to grovel and whimper
“It's already August, not too long to wait
Before you know it, it'll be winter!”
See, my dear sweeties! How do you like it
To be at the other end of the dial
Can't tell you how much fun that would be
I'd never be able to wipe off the smile
Categories:
oinks, smile,
Form: Rhyme
Written by Gail R DeBole
on July 19, 2021
Updated September 4, 2021
A baby who lived on a farm
Would coo and gurgle with charm.
She completely amazed
Her family each day
With all of her sweet, lovely sounds.
She would hear chickens, cows, and sheep
As she fell into a very sound sleep.
Then she would awake
To the noise roosters make
And would listen to chicks as they peeped.
She heard many oinks, moos, and neighs.
The animals talked lots each day.
Chickens cluck-cluck-clucked.
She heard quacks from each duck.
The animal sounds never waned.
When she made her talking debut.
Her parents didn’t know what to do.
You might think it absurd
As to what her parents heard -
She sang out a melodious moo!
Next was a loud cluck-cluck-cluck!
Then she skillfully quaked like a duck!
She then gave a neigh
As she giggled and played.
Her parents were completely awe-struck.
She saved her best vocals for last.
Giving her parents a proud vocal blast.
She called her father “Papa”
And her mother “Mama”
And that was her first baby rap.
Categories:
oinks, animal, baby, child, cute,
Form: Rhyme
Maybe a role reversal would be in order
And us guys could take it or leave it
Whatta mind-blowing experience that would be
The ladies simply couldn't conceive it
Exciting? You ain't just whistling Dixie
There's a stirring deep down in my loins
Quite sexual in nature or my jockeys are too tight
Sometimes I let out a few oinks
Sure would be great to see how that works
To turn the tables on the ladies
I'd say, “I have a bad headache, maybe December
Right now I'm baking some pastries”
Can you just imagine the look on their faces
They'd start to grovel and whimper
“It's already August, not too long to wait
Before you know it, it'll be winter!”
See, my dear sweeties! How do you like it
To be at the other end of the dial
Can't tell you how much fun that would be
I'd never be able to wipe off the smile
Categories:
oinks, creation,
Form: Verse
Went for brekkie at the local coffee joint
Key word is fast but it sure disappoints
Two minutes tops
It was teeming with cops
Think I may have overheard a few oink oinks
Categories:
oinks, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Three little bears and three little kittens
Fell in love and were so smitten
With each other and got married
All three kittens were then carried
Over the threshold of the bears
House--eyes filling up with tears
Of happiness, sorrow no more
Once they stepped inside the door
Laughs filled up this loving house
Shared with a cute little mouse
All the neighbors are excited
To get a letter their invited
To celebrate this happiness
With everyone and nothing less
A girl who's very quite contrary
Makes a garden, her names Mary
While Miss Muffet makes a treat
Healthy porridge for all to eat
A charming farm--moos, oinks and owls
Made by their friend Old McDonald
Will provide fresh morning yummies
For these triplets hungry tummies
So come join in on the fun
A block party has begun
And wont end till the sun sets
Neighbors all in beds to rest
Categories:
oinks, friend, fun, imagination, wedding,
Form: Rhyme
Maybe a role reversal is in order here
And us guys could take it or leave it
Whatta mind-blowing experience that would be
The ladies simply couldn't conceive it
Exciting? You ain't just whistling Dixie
There's a stirring deep down in my loins
Quite sexual in nature or my jockeys are too tight
Sometimes I let out a few oinks
Sure would be great to see how that works
To turn the tables on the ladies
I'd say, “I have a bad headache, maybe December
Right now I'm baking some pastries”
Can you just imagine the look on their faces
They'd start to grovel and whimper
“It's already August, not too too long to wait
Before you know it, it'll be winter!”
See, my dear sweeties! How do you like it
To be at the other end of the dial
Cant't tell you how much fun that would be
I'd never be able to wipe off the smile
© Jack Ellison 2013
Categories:
oinks, men, women,
Form: Quatrain
I have lost the count of years
when allegations were laid against me.
I had my excuses
but they were not welcome.
I gave my excuses
but they were never welcome.
Thus and so
I became a jail bird.
Thirty-six months due
I was released.
My only possession was my guitar.
I sat at the city park and played it.
Not for a gold and silver
but for someone who might like it.
Many liked it and me a gold and silver.
Thats how i ended up with this pet shop, lonely.
I did break the oinks nose.
From then on, I have suckled the sweetness of loneliness solely.
For these animals, i dare not pose.
After all Im not a bad man Im just not lucky.
Categories:
oinks, life, sad, truth,
Form: ABC