Mom Nonsense Poems

I read The Raven in its entirety,
I must admit it's kind of creepy.

If some big ol' bird with devil eyes
Came tap tap tapping to my...

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Problematic punctuation
How could it be , mother dear , on my forehead , is it your Biloxi ? I had an entire morn, in good...

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A cat and a dog, marinated delight,
In a frying pan, they engaged in a fight,
Their sizzles did soar,
Mom kicked the pan, what a roar!
Dinner was...

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I was scratched and scraped to smithereens, 
But luckily had collected enough sticklefarts 
to bake a pie, and make some tasty tartlsnidds with greens. 
We...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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Mom learns it
  Dad earns it
Sis turns it
  Baby spurns it

Auntie bakes it
  Uncle makes it
Niece shakes it
  Nephew takes it

Gramma...

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Doggerel II: Doggerel about Doggerel, or, More Nonsense Verse

The Board
by Michael R. Burch

Accessible rhyme is never good.
The penalty is understood:
soft titters from dark board rooms...

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Potatoes

At dinner the other night, 
mom fixed our favorite. 
She baked them, 
broiled them, 
cut them up,
 and fried them nice. 

She told us,
this was...

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Corona virus pickup lines...
Hey baby, I'm still employed.
What's a girl like you doing anyplace? Seriously, wtf? Go home!
You're hotter than medically recommended.

thoughts..
Don't fall so in...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a...

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Knock, Knock

Mom. 
I missed my bus. 
I am going to be late. 
Class will start without me. 
They will be mad..
at me. 

Mom.
Are you up...

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Tree Top Dancers
and Circus Clowns

The neighbors moved away. 
They said nothing to anyone, 
they just left. 
New people took the home. 
There was a big...

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Protecting; To the Last Breath
(a dark moment)

My dear friend told me I was a good mom today. 
I went into the bathroom and tears sprang...

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Call Your Mother

Pick up the phone...
do it now. 
If you can.
Later if you must, 
I trust that you, 
know the difference. 

She never put you...

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Back in the Box

Empty packages, 
lots of paper, 
refolded for another year. 
Saved, again and again, 
generation after generation. 
Traditions, 
slowly getting too old, 
falling...

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