Food Nonsense Poems

jam in a sandwich
jam upon toast
jam in puff pastry
jam Sunday roast

jam in a donut
jam served with fries
jam on a cracker
jam curry and rice

jam mash potato
jam...

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Crow (Blackus Menacingus)
large, clever and a scavenger
found in gardens where there’s trees
good at puzzles, can be trained
likes TV shows about celebrities

Blackbird (Blackus Not-A-Pirateus)
common gardeners friend...

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jam

it’s
sweeter than ham
stickier than a dam
spreadier than a ram
welcomier than spam
jarier than a can
jellier than a plan

though
not drivier than a van
not talkier than a man
not...

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diddly dole
diddly dole
a goblin ate the custard
from the trifle bowl

diddly dole
diddly dole
another ate the jelly
and the trifle – stole!



...

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dessert door dessert door
opens to custard and cream
but jester broke in
with bells and a spoon
. . . and
off with his head!
said the queen

dessert door dessert...

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It's a perfect day for bananafish.
But I know! It's not your favorite dish.
So, I can make you a plate
of oven-baked orangeprimate,
and an appleoyster salad if...

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Put a flipper on a kipper if you want to toast a seal 
Put a bloater in a toaster for a better fitting meal
If the...

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There is a moment every single year
Such a joyful one without a tear
The tree is up, the food purchased
Delivered present, friends embraced
With time taken out...

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Remove outer sleeve and packaging
Place in large oven proof dish
Ride dolphins perpendicular to the beach
Paint weightlessness with fluorescent paint
Season to taste and add thoughts provided
Bake...

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mr onion with his mad mad hair
miss pepper with her smoothen skin
mrs lemon looking so so fair
master cauliflower’s complexion

the long long nose of sir carrot
the...

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trifle made with custard
garden gloves and mustard

dinner listen answer me
do you want a pie and cup of tea

bake the shed ‘til ten past three
then eat...

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the parrot cooked a dinner
the dinner he cooked was a carrot

when the swan burst into song
and the thrush told him to hush

the starling asked for...

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I found a hair in my egg roll  
               ...

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alien made salad dream

carrot blue and pink sauce cream

broccoli chartreuse

in light wavy juice

great chefs of the distant scene.
...

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once a strange dog named willie

liked eating alummed chili

far into the night

he'd chomp and he'd bite

until his mouth felt silly.
...

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