There once was a sensitive vicar,
who said, "I'm not one to bicker,
but the peal of that bell,
makes me feel quite unwell,
and plays merry hell with my ticker."
An incensed old soul by the spire,
preaching incense-igniting to the choir,
exclaimed, "There is but one catch,
when striking a match,
don't set your surplice on fire."
A parson spoke from the nave,
"Spend all you can, do not save,
if you've spilled all the sands,
and still have time on your hands,
you can't take it with you to the grave."
A wise minister in the kirk,
enlightened, observed with a smirk,
"When it's dark out there,
put your hands in the air,
as many hands make light work.”
Popularly, the Body of Christ;
So, watch your thanks giving after a heist,
Each Sunday Christians surface in a church,
They have joyously gone there for Christ’s search
Every day in one power-packed prayers;
They’re a permanent debt for us, payers…
No one easily joins a church choir:
A sure voice Good and Bad ones require;
The real church has to be shaped like a Cross,
A winder they now mount ones that look gross;
Of a truth a painful artistic loss;
Some in their churches sing Secular Ross…
Yes, a part of the church is The Nave
And that’s exactly the section I crave!
Why should I stay in a Church’s Transept,
If I’d gone there earlier for The Precept…
Nothing wrong about the vast stone statues;
They’re there as strict reminders of virtues;
My prayers after every church sermon:
They would disappear demons and mammon.
I cornered a fed-up knave
On the subject of The Treasures God gave,
Which Nature had fought to save
Between Open Hill and Concealed Cave
And he acidly began to rave
At the wrongs men crave
And at their will to ways pave
For those who cold lies microwave …
Broadly too did he rave
At killers who murders brave
And unwittingly selves enslave
To in that state walk into grave …
I could and should bless this Ex knave,
In every church service at the nave …
Who’d sermons in ears squandered save.
Let us at Risk-Taking Dave
Lengthily rave
For choosing to live in a cave
Also, The Choice of a Gorilla
That could demolish a stout slave
And wrestling Victory not release to a Godzilla …
To Risk-Courting Dave
Now in Echoing Cave
To improve on His high Octave
Mention that he’s risking an early grave
For not being The Muscularly Brave
That termites his fresh corpse shall crave
As he deigns to ways for it pave …
The soonest of requiems in a nave
For his life he never could save
With pleas Gorillas aside wave.
In the land of the free and home of the brave
Here I sit a bit of a nave
Babies in cages on the southern tier
Those with power nary a tear
Children is their class room mowed down
AK -47's sold all over town
The globe on fire the Amazon burns
No notice as the world turns
Hurricanes and floods batter the shore line
In the swamp every things fine
Politicians cheat lie and steal
Pigs at the trough never getting their fill
The Proletariat bows and cry out for alms
They are building a wall to keep them calm
No money to educate the masses
But plenty for war in made up crisis
No leaders to lead in the home of the brave
How could I be so much the nave
There once was a man in the nave,
Although pious he could not behave ...
They paid him no mind,
’Caus his name was maligned,
Simply being a sinner to save
7th in Skat's limerick contest