From the front the old stodgy men look almost okay
How do they look down by Canadian way?
I am talking about the Mount Rushmore four.
Washington, Jefferson, Abe and Theodore.
Can you imagine if they had been carved in three-D?
Which one would your eyes want to look over and see?
I am talking about the backside, their petootsies you know.
Can you imagine the sight from the tourists down below?
Picture this: Mt. Rushmore
With its most imposing heads
Discussing certain rumors
Which the White House likely spreads.
“He can’t be really serious!”
Groused Teddy, steaming mad.
“I think he is,” calm George replied.
“He’s nuts, though, I should add.”
“There isn’t room up here at all,”
As Thomas pointed out.
“He’ll just buy the surrounding land,”
Said Abe, “without a doubt.”
“But what a nerve!” they all agreed.
“Such chutzpah truly shocks!
How could his head be made in stone
When it is full of rocks?”
What proud Americans see,
has been done before
Graven image glory ...
Mount Rushmore
Four faces carved into
a mountainside
South Dakota idols looks like
the one in southern Sudan
Mount Abu Simbel,
circa 1200 B.C.
Four Pharaoh figures
standing tall 100 feet
Graven images carved into
a mountainside
To bear witness
of things to come
That in the future,
this again would be done
Washington
Jefferson
Lincoln
Roosevelt
Every Pharaoh from the past
had the same pride those men felt
That their nation
was the greatest one
in the Earth
That their kingdoms
would forever remain
above the dirt
What was done before,
has been done again
Graven image idolatry ...
Mount Rushmore sin
Last summer
We drove across the country
Just the wife and me
10,000 miles
31 states
Three months on the road
I now know why people don’t live
In South Dakota
Hot, dry dusty
Windy as hell
Black Hills are nice
But after seeing Mt. Rushmore
There is not much left to do
Rapid City did not impress me
Nor did Sioux Falls
And wall drugs
Well the free water was nice
But it is a nothing town
In a nothing state
On the edge of the badlands
And the Sioux reservation
There is a reason the Indians live there
No one else wanted the land
And they are warehoused there
So I drove through Rapid City
And thought that it is the heart of Trump Land
The land of the forgotten
The left behind
Just another nothing burger of a State
In the middle of nowhere
Truly flyover country
If Cat Lovers Had Their Way
By Elton Camp
Some folks almost worship their cat
But I see nothing sensible about that
They’ll get their cat down out of a tree
It’d stay until it rots if it were up to me
Beg a foolish cat to eat--there’s no way
If it won’t feed, it can simply waste away
Why let a sorry cat stay inside the house
When it’s too lazy even to catch a mouse
If some cat any of my furniture claws,
It would soon be minus its front paws
If a cat dares even once to scratch or bite
It would then be knocked out like a light
But cat lovers are nuts as I have said before
And would sculpt their cat on Mt. Rushmore
Batman and good old Robin
take on the fight
against menacing foes
Without super powers
they battle crime
save the police for disgrace
Stately Wayne Manor
is the name of their home
also the name of a rock band
Whoe doesn't like costumed heroes?
as portrayed so vividly in comic books?
The time has come for
Batman to be carved
onto Mt Rushmore
After all he saved
Gotham City form annhilation
He's featured, you say
Well, he is just as real
to millions
as Cononel Sanders
and better for the health
of our citizens
Rapid City, South Dakota
I always like Fall best
You can eat buttery pancakes
From huge Ihop
And Omelets
And Toast
And skillets
And lots of Reese
And Butterfingers
And Twix
At the colorful gas station
And listen to
Nice relaxing music
On the hill
At the Mt. Rushmore
And go to the Corn Palace with
My friend Troy
And go to the baseball game
And watch the sunset setting