Long Whopping Poems
Long Whopping Poems. Below are the most popular long Whopping by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Whopping poems by poem length and keyword.
Oh, peaceful sentinel of green,
With sweeping boughs and leafy screen!
Most trees provide a tranquil shade,
For picnickers in any glade
But you, O Willow, choose to smite,
And pummel passersby all night!
While common willows gently weep,
You cause the very bones to leap!
With one swift swish, you wreck a car,
And launch a Ford into a star.
You care not for a bird or bee,
An equal-opportunity brute tree.
You guard a dark and secret door,
Where furry friends pace on the floor.
A gentle poke upon your bark
Will freeze you silent in the dark,
A magic trick of wood and limb,
To keep your temper rather trim!
So hail the violent, twisted wood!
Misunderstood, yet understood.
The only tree, we must agree,
That strikes right back at botany!
Whenever I see a dangerous demon
I feel scared. I cry as if onion
Is being peeled or cut in union.
Same feeling in the examination
Of Maths I feel as issue in nation.
The very word takes me to the station
From where no train goes to destination.
Finger of Maths – a giant accusation
Whopping, gigantic, big adulation.
Maths – My God! A most dreadful lion;
I am afraid of it and its companion.
Let it be Savani or Goenka or Ryan
Or let be Divine or DPS, Maths demon
Will never spare us in relaxation.
The only way I feel is Meditation
Which’ll save thee from assassination.
So mediate well and study notion
Without having any denomination.
To save me from austere acidification
I wrote Monorhyme for affirmation.
I assume my readers’s ready opinion
Will not differ with my solution.
Queens are all over, and there are festivals, parades, banners and stuff.
I wanted to be Corn Queen once, but they chose a girl from Council Bluff.
Our phenomenal state fairs have a bunch of pageants galore.
We watch these winners parade in with titles, banners, and more.
Miss Atom was fine, looked great in her huge science lab.
Everyone was glad she got it, for she had the gift of gab.
Ms. Plastic Surgery had lips that kept falling off,
So her title was given to Miss Whopping Cough.
The men have their own competitions, of course.
Some bring their own cow, their llama or horse.
Mr. Cowboy for the West part of the state,
Was given a chilly reception, being six minutes late.
Stripped of his title, it pleased his first runner up.
Who had also won Mr. Lassie and Mr. Buttercup.
Mr. Elf on the Shelf was irritated ‘because he thought he had it.
Mr. Emergency laughed, for he was named Mr. Bad It.
Mrs. Hostess Snowball wore snowballs strategically placed,
And Mrs. Not—Ever-Ready wore a corny veil ribboned with lace.
Queens and Kings, running around, winning titles fast and furiously.
To put on their resume’s or job applications? I am guessing curiously.
Not being in a pageant, myself, I truly do not understand.
But there are contests for queens and kings all over our land.
Showing off titles, and banners and stuff.
Here is Mrs. Wart Hog cemetery. Her hide is tough!
LADIES AND GENTS, hear this that I may increase your leisure benefits!
All who have labored for cleanliness, for a spic and span to savor,
please allow me now to do you the most ginormous of favors …
Sweep, vacuum, scrub, dust, mop … have those acts ever pissed
you off? Cleaning is tough, especially rough because results don’t
last long enough. I see from your faces, you know what I mean -
allow me to paint a scene: Your kitchen floor has not one
speck, not a smudge or spot nub to detect, and it is, oh, so sweet
walking that floor in your bare feet - - -SUDDENLY A DUTY
is stuck to your foot, some wretched crumb of vagrant soot,
a speck intruder you would gladly, madly shoot!
Well, lean in close for I can transpose the major bummer of gross
into … REWARDING, FULFILLING, LONG-LASTING DOMESTIC
PROSE!!
This can, this light weight can and its sprayed, domestic changing
dose keeps rooms as pristine as when newly, fully cleaned, YES,
from den to latrine to hall, it guards clean in all, even door frames
and walls!! Just spray, walk away, and this anti-dirt, clean hold vaccine,
THIS spray, right here, in my hand will, I vow, grant you a whopping
wow; allow this month-long guard warrior to protect your clean, EVEN
toilet bowls will maintain their sheen, EVEN toothpaste spit in haste –
just forget it because this spray, available this day with many ways to
pay, won’t quit it!
Just $9 a can, NO $.99 that results in 99% of us feeling a brain insult.
how many times have you said
that your life is one big mess
and that the ringing in your head
tells you you're a wreck
although that thought may be true
here's some positiveness for you
take the negativity off your menu
and on this tidbit chew
keep those thoughts out of your head
although they're hungry they need not be fed
there's no need for them to spread
in the time that you have left
because if you weren't a whopping mess
how ever then would you be blessed
and in who would you find your rest
with that being said
accept that yes with great finesse
the one true God loves you no less
to him you are a beautiful mess
and he can handle it
Times Square was once a sleazy place;
You wouldn’t go alone there.
When darkness fell, you held on or
You’d lose all that you owned there.
Today, though, it’s like Disney World,
With tourists, loud and surging.
There’s not an inch of space unfilled
Since everyone’s converging:
The families from Idaho,
The hawkers giving passes,
The Elmos and the messengers,
The bused-in high school classes…
The lunch-break workers, homeless dudes,
The theater geeks and shoppers,
The food carts, cabbies and the cops
And all the teenyboppers.
I love New York; don’t get me wrong
But oftentimes I wonder
If gentrifying Broadway
Might have been a whopping blunder.
For those whom the Pandemic spared
a real revolution's in the air
From remote work demands
come offices on the beach in the sand
From Teacher's Unions' selfish lies
watch a new improved school system arise
From a shortage of service employees
come whopping increases in their salaries
Politicians' autocratic lockdown response
heralds a massive civil disobedience renaissance
And the government's over-generous checks
prompt folks their life's priorities to inspect
So, what at first seemed an absolute disaster
advances the future ever faster
Hottest Thing in Town
I was kind of feeling merry
Drinking wine and sipping sherry
My mind was ready for a move
My feet were hitching for a groove
I was feeling as high as a kite
My hair was combed, my teeth were white
I was feeling so good
I thought I could, lick anything in sight
I felt the hottest thing in town
I picked myself up and headed for a ball
I was determined something had to fall
I made for the bar and ordered a gin
And eyed up all the girls i cared to win
I felt so good I would get my way
I could not wish for a better day
I was out for fun, I was out to play
I was feeling so good, it felt so right
I felt the hottest thing in town
I danced and boozed away till three
By now I was weary and could hardly see
The crowd was drifting from the floor
Panic set in because I didn't score
I knew why I was there that very night
My pockets were full, the timing was right
I was feeling so good, I had to treatmyself
To one of the damsels of the night
It seems as if I was running out of luck
When out of the blue it suddenly struck
It was my friend from sixty nine
Escorting two broads, who would like to dine
He though I looked lonely, so he would put me right
With a young lady of the night
I was feeling good, I danced again
My anticipitation rekindled for a new game
We chatted and chatted, then walked her to her door
She took me home and bolted the door
Then told me; relax, you know the score
It was just by chance we happen to meet
So lets get cosy, and have us a treat
We haven't got much time to spend together
So lets not behave like a sister and brother
I was feeling so good, things getting hot
My temperature reaching the nineties like a shot
But there was something strange about the lady you see
She had an extra leg where it shouldn't be
As soon as she got home she dropped her frock
Out stood a whopping block!
Man that thing was in a rage
The sight of which I fled the stage
I was feeling so good that very night
But when I got home my black hair was white
Fuzzy and hairy that is what he was, a cuddly big bear. She
Undressed shyly before him while he took his own sweet time
Zesting it up with cologne before a mirror, what a nervous boy
Zorro mask in place he naughtily asked," can I use my whip ?"
You can do anything you want but leave my feet alone
So there they were two hotties revving for the big big night
Oh Oh Oh she wailed and moaned, " how I love the big wild horse"
Caressing her like a velveteen he croons into her ear, "Oh dear "
Kiss me, canoodle me but don't look at my feet Tiger, cuz if you do ?
So slowly ever so slowly he peels the blanket off her quivering body
And as he looked at her feet he took in the blue socks and crocs
Nascent desires squelched, she was no longer a sexy wench ,
Darling, what in Gods name made you wear something like that he cried
Cuz I wanted to be hot stuff for you, but my feet are always cold
Roaring with laughter he took off his mask & she noticed his brows
Oh my stars you shaved your brows! "Didn't want to be a
Caveman my dear. She giggled and squeezed him tight. I love it
Sexy Zorro. Two lovers doo whopping it, with hot sexy love...
Outside a butcher shop in London Town
I met an old girlfriend and she made me frown
‘I remember boyfriends,’ she liked to acknowledge
‘By naming them all after all kinds of sausage.’
The first time she made a man out of a boy
Was a lad who she now calls young Savaloy Roy
Her next feller’s member was beyond belief
She now refers to him as Pork and Beef Keith
She told me her next bloke she called B.P. Lee
B.P. is black pudding… interestingly
So I asked if she had a nickname for me
‘You betcha,’ she said, your name is Chippy.’
I said, ‘Is that down to me being a carpenter?’
She said, ‘Don’t be daft, it’s short for chipolata.’
*
[in the UK a savaloy is a red skinned sausage, about 8 inches by 1.25 inches, usually accompanied by chips (thick French fries); Black Pudding is a whopping great thing that, on a man, would be inhuman; pork and beef are usually stumpy but with a good girth, and chipolatas are slender, scrawny efforts that only become interesting if you wrap them in bacon at christmas]