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Her Old Bangers

Outside a butcher shop in London Town I met an old girlfriend and she made me frown ‘I remember boyfriends,’ she liked to acknowledge ‘By naming them all after all kinds of sausage.’ The first time she made a man out of a boy Was a lad who she now calls young Savaloy Roy Her next feller’s member was beyond belief She now refers to him as Pork and Beef Keith She told me her next bloke she called B.P. Lee B.P. is black pudding… interestingly So I asked if she had a nickname for me ‘You betcha,’ she said, your name is Chippy.’ I said, ‘Is that down to me being a carpenter?’ She said, ‘Don’t be daft, it’s short for chipolata.’ * [in the UK a savaloy is a red skinned sausage, about 8 inches by 1.25 inches, usually accompanied by chips (thick French fries); Black Pudding is a whopping great thing that, on a man, would be inhuman; pork and beef are usually stumpy but with a good girth, and chipolatas are slender, scrawny efforts that only become interesting if you wrap them in bacon at christmas]

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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Date: 12/27/2021 2:05:00 AM
Don't be despondent, there's always groman pills lol. Talking of pigs in blankets I never want to see another. Happy New year Tom PS soupmail.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/27/2021 2:31:00 AM
She'll have to call you barrow boy now, what an honor lol.
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Terry Flood
Date: 12/27/2021 2:21:00 AM
Don’t talk to me about Groman pills… I took the whole packet… now I can’t go anywhere without a wheelbarrow! Thanks for pointing out my typing error which I’ve now corrected. Terry
Date: 12/26/2021 5:09:00 PM
Funny! You had to ask her, didn't you! Well, at least you got an outside opinion, an assessment, shall I say?
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Terry Flood
Date: 12/26/2021 5:29:00 PM
Strangely, she started calling me ‘Tight Squeeze’ about that time… of course that didn’t fit with the sausage theme, so, in public, she calls me something ending in ‘wurst’! Ha Ha… Have a great new year, Milt. Terry
Date: 12/26/2021 4:37:00 PM
Hi Chippy…that is so so funny and so so clever….loved it!! Debxx
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Terry Flood
Date: 12/26/2021 4:42:00 PM
Thanks, Deb. This was tricky, as apparently the U.S. and the U.K. have different sausages and different names for similar sausages. I never once, not ever, contemplated ever having to describe a savaloy… but hey… I did my duty for the British banger! Terry