Long White christmas Poems
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Let’s Eat Something New This Christmas
(Parody of Have a Holly Jolly Christmas)
I can make some spicy tacos
better than the ones down south.
Please though know to eat them slow
or they may burn your mouth.
Try my sauciest lasagna
better than a Christmas ham.
Cheese galore – I like that more
than even roasted lamb.
Some get hung up on foods
so traditional.
My foods you cannot call
repetitional.
For dessert, there’s tiramisu.
I’m so sick of pumpkin pie.
Cookies crumble
so I grumble: why not new foods to try?
Christmas Balls,
(Parody of Jingle Bells)
Christmas balls, Christmas balls on my Christmas tree.
I’ve got a cat that’s such a rat beneath the tree he’ll pee -ee.
Christmas balls, Christmas balls, flying through the air.
When both cats get hold of them, they scatter everywhere.
One night I took a pause because I’d heard a crash.
Hoped it might be Claus bringing me some cash.
I saw my big dog’s face. She looked up guiltily.
To those darn cats she’d given chase destroying our tree! Oh!
Repeat refrain:
Christmas balls, Christmas balls on my Christmas tree.
I’ve got a cat that’s such a rat beneath the tree he’ll pee -ee.
Christmas balls, Christmas balls, flying through the air.
When both cats get hold of them, they scatter everywhere.
Two oldies:
I Heard Mother (to tune of "I Saw Mother Kissing Santa Clause")
I heard Mother scolding Santa's elf
As I prowled the house on Christmas Eve.
He'd hid in St. Nick's sleigh And then sneaked out to play
After having waited for his boss to fly away.
Mother caught him gobbling all our snacks
After he tore open every gift.
Oh, when she glared down at his face,
He went scrambling from our place
Screaming, "Santa, stop the sleigh-
I need a lift!"
New Body
Parody of the Xmas Song: White Christmas
I'm dreaming of a new body
with every chocolate I unwrap.
But I can't stop eating, I can't stop cheating.
There's just too many Christmas snacks.
My nightmare is a pot belly -with every Christmas treat I take.
But I can't stop feasting, my size increasing;
when I stand on the scales they'll break.
Yes, I'm dreaming of a trim waistline,
so take that Chex mix from my face.
May my buns be smaller and flat,
and may all my body lose its fat!
(I no longer make Chex Mix. It’s just too tempting)
White Christmas is not what many people think it is
As we know Christmas is a lively annual festival
Celebrated seven days before the end of the year
Of the Nativity of Jesus. Christmas is a joyful, colorful
And wonderful feast, where stars glow and glisten.
People who live not too far from the cold North Pole
Always dream of a snowy or white Christmas
Where Mother Nature is frosted and crystallized
And the streets are paved with black or clear ice.
Christmas is celebrated by billions across the universe
It is a major festival of hope, happiness and lights
Northerners often dream of a very cold or snowy Christmas
Which brings powerful nostalgic feelings of yesteryear
When children used to listen.
Nowadays, Christmas is multicultural and highly colorful
Bing Crosby wrote of a ‘White Christmas’ for everybody
Living in the world, where imagination brings Hope, Noël,
Yule and Joy, regardless of the religion, creed, gender or race.
Copyright © December, 2023, Hébert Logerie, all rights reserved.
Hébert Logerie is the author of several collections of poems.
Blanca Navidad No Lo Es
Blanca Navidad no es lo que mucha gente piensa que es
Como sabemos, la Navidad es una animada fiesta anual
Que muchos festejan siete días antes de fin del año
La Natividad de Jesús. La Navidad es una fiesta
Que es alegre, colorida y maravillosa, donde las estrellas brillan.
Personas que viven no muy lejos del frío Polo Norte
Sueñan siempre de una Blanca o Nevada Navidad
Donde la madre naturaleza está congelada y cristalizada
Y las calles pavimentadas con hielo transparente o ngro.
Millones de personas en todo el universo celebran la Navidad
Que es una gran fiesta de esperanza, de felicidad y de luces
Los norteños suelen soñar con una Navidad muy fría
Lo que trae poderosos sentimientos nostálgicos de antaño
Cuando los niños solían escuchar.
Hoy en día, la Navidad es multicultural y llena de color
Bing Crosby escribió de una "Blanca Navidad" para todos
Que viven en un mundo donde la imaginación trae esperanza
Festividad y alegría, sin importar la religión, credo, género o raza.
PD Traducción de ‘White Christmas Is Not’ por Hébert Logerie
Copyright © diciembre de 2023, Hébert Logerie, todos los derechos reservados.
Hébert Logerie es autor de varias colecciones de poemas.
Now Christmas in July seems crazy - I’m sure I hear you say
That has got to be plain silly - but this is the Aussie way
Christmas is in December you insist it’s a well-known fact
But in this land way ‘Down Under’ our seasons are ‘out of whack’
July is Aussie winter while in December it's scorching hot
Those Three Wise Men may know the reason but then again maybe not!
A time for relaxing with family and friends spreading the good cheer
Sip a glass of Lilly Pilli wine or toast with a VB beer
Frosty Christmas in December - for some it seems so right
Tinsel and baubles festooned - Oh what a delightful sight
Presents around the Christmas tree decked with lights and holly
Cheery little Santa’s look so happy and so jolly
In December air-cons turned cold mimicking our winter in July
When Santa rode his sleigh down south to Oz coming from the land up high
With a Ho Ho Ho he now powers his jet ski - riding mighty waves
He coasts straight onto our golden sands joining parting people and raves
Remember my friends it is a time filled with Peace and Joy
To commemorate the Special Birth of a Baby Boy
Worry not friends we don’t miss out on all that wintry good cheer
For you see folks here in OZ - Christmas always comes twice a year
Author’s Note:
'Christmas in July', which is also known as Yulefest or Yuletide in Australia. July is generally the coldest month of winter, so celebrations emulate the atmosphere of the northern hemisphere winter. So that means hearty food like roasts, and warm drinks in front of fireplaces and bonfires. Don’t be alarmed folks! – Just for the record, here in Oz we have a second helping and do celebrate Christmas on 25th December with the rest of the world.
~‘out of whack’ - An Aussie term for ‘Out of Sync’~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Synopsis from the composer of the song and clip -
"The Aussie Christmas Song" by Batesy. Published on Dec 18, 2012
‘One Christmas eve I was singing carols about dashing through the snow & a white Christmas and thought "Aussies don't have snow at Christmas" and it was also 30 degrees outside, so The Aussie Christmas Song was born, it's about sun, sand, backyard cricket, pavlova, and a cold beer - Ah!! - Sing along!!!’
Another White Christmas
coming down
hard ...
Asphalt bitter cold
Danny Boy blues ain’t o-Kaye-o
Broken glass Dean-o voice
Martini sing in absinthe stinging
d minor ~ Road to Hope got
Crossed 'B' out Bing-o
Another whiteout Christmas
Domino tears
falling
Twenty below diagonal
Unbalanced emotions,
troubled mind on a tilted spin
Numb thoughts are starting to get
that familiar frostbite —
Uncaring feeling
Another white powdery Christmas,
unhappy hollow days
Memento memories
on a black fade
Look out the cracked window
of altered perception
Let in some more extreme cold —
Insensate ‘why’
palpitations
Those pipe dreams deferred
are twenty-something empty years old
Another white listless Christmas
Living dead movements
are bipolar
North to South,
it don’t really matter
what direction the feelings go
Each zombie trip is always determined by
which way the lighter wind blow
Depression to Manic
is how the artificial happiness of sadness
get smoke misty eye
Cranial froze
Just another white Christmas crisis,
again ... this time of year
Snowflake tears are coming down
so frigid diagonal
Cryo choice of medicated sleep relief
is mood optional
Look out the cracked window,
one last time
No longer any icy isolation fear
of what somber regrets
will be left behind
Another white noise Christmas Day
growing more silent night,
with each turned calendar year
See the receding childhood smiles
empathically pass merrily by
With a blank gaze,
watch Puff the Snow Dragon fly
Good natured joy has breaking bad fled,
with rhyme or reason left stupor unsaid
Only unspeakable pain remains
Another white snow globe Christmas
So many frozen moments of better times
can’t be thawed out ~ Pristine vow decisions not
brought back
There’s only mistake-filled spilt words
bottled up somewhere
mentally downstairs
Dusty neurotic hangups
on a wine rack
Another white wailing wall Christmas
of addled thoughts
Don’t remember, can’t recall
the causal origin of the
emotional crack
As those memento memories,
now permanently,
Fade to black
3 am.
The alarm clock in my head wakes me with a
silent clanging.
Outside, the rain is falling so hard. It sounds like someone's
trying to break into my room.
Jesus.
It's Christmas Day.
It might as well be August 25th because the conversation in my head has not changed
since then. "You are a piece of ****."
I think of things I need to worry about, things I've worried about since August 25th and way before that.
My anxiety runs through my veins like hot chemo.
I stagger to the living room and stare at the half-decorated Christmas tree ...
gold balls weighing down one side. Empty green takes up the other. Oh, there are two figurines of kittens that I bought at a garage sale in Staten Island in 1998.
God. 3:10 am.
A whole day to spend by myself.
Not a fake friend in sight today, with their banal conversations about picking up their laundry or meeting at the gym at whatever time to do arms or back.
Just as well; I get a blank stare from them when I want to talk about chasing happiness or being childless at 53.
The TV is my savior. It pulls me out of myself.
Bing Crosby comes on singing "White Christmas." He's dancing
with those two impossibly shiny bleached blondes. And they all have those white, almost blue American teeth -- not one out of place.
12 pm.
I wake up on the couch and "White Christmas" is still playing; it must be a marathon.
Outside, the rain has turned to snow and there are two messages on my phone -- from Christian friends inviting me to their houses for the day.
It's tough being a Buddhist on Christmas. OK, so I know, as the Buddhists say, everything is OK as long as I let it be OK.
But this is one day of the year I don't want to "be."
I consider whether to shower. It takes 10 minutes to decide. I let the hot water run down my back, and I don't know if it's burning from the water or my nerve endings.
I don't want to face Christmas - but I have decided to join life and go to Cory's to see his kids, stare at the tree and eat some turkey.
I decide to take a Xanax, and I stick one in my pocket as assurance.
Maybe some of this gloom will yet lift from my heart.
Form:
Rather than crank up the heat...
and ratchet up global warming
like bubbling vegetable stew
with tsk... tsk... heard
courtesy Greta Thunberg,
who would utter "how dare you..."
I bundle with layers to stave off cold
energy efficiency drilled courtesy
me late mother conserving
nonrenewable resources she extolled
now ewe best heed following suggestion
wool worth 3d printing than wearing
a sheep doubled over
along dotted line to fold
cuz expending (fossil fuel)
leaving carbon footprint
would immediately being lectured
by ecology conscious eldest daughter,
(a University of Pennsylvania
biomedical engineering alumna)
who would mildly scold.
Myself and thee missus holed up
here within Highland Manor Apartments
(unit B44 in case you wanna drop me a line)
we're here moost every cold December day
sipping warm cup
of our favorite beverage
exotic coffee latte brew
suits this muttering pup
actually yours truly
a doggone ole
long haired pencil necked geezer.
He can be found moost any given warm Green Day
shuffling along boulevard of broken dreams
overhead skies colored rosy gunmetal gray
occasional huff fro zen cloud slashing solar ray
heating inside cozy nook,
though outside temperature brisk,
nevertheless for winter quite balmy
while I sit here heavily clad,
hence yours truly quite toasty within
perfect weather for wedding,
especially one hashtagged December/May.
After dusk i.e. established misnomer known as sunset
occurs 4:36 Post Meridiem heavens quickly turn jet
black today - Thursday, December 10, 2020 (EST)
whereby darkness lulls one into sleepiness, I bet
dollars to donuts impossible mission
to keep eyelids opened, particularly if sleep debt
necessary to pay the sandman,
who knows maybe you gotta get get
comfortably numb vis a vis temporarily unconscious
state, whereby dreaming of a white Christmas
analogous to eventual Elysian Fields,
where divine creator
conjuring Nirvana and/or
a place called Willoughby
if a believer, said Almighty eventually met.
The bright Christmas lights on my city house are so colorful and traditional,
hopefully when I get my high utility bill I won't become too irrational,
and watching everyone open up their gifts makes me want to sigh,
also hoping that when I get the credit card bills I won't start to cry,
And the Christmas room has edible fumes of the eating variety kind,
with the holiday weight I gain ending up in my butt and thighs,
while getting a white Christmas is something I always wished for,
but not slipping on the slippery steps when walking out the front door,
A different group of Christmas carolers singing out front in my yard,
all of them sounding very off key like a cat getting strangled,
and not having money to give them gave them some pie I baked,
most of them getting sick from it Betty Crocker I aint,
Going Christmas shopping and getting stuck in the holiday traffic,
and trying to find a parking spot at the mall was really quite baffling,
having to sit there and wait till I saw a shopper getting ready to leave,
another car beat me to the spot while I sat there and sneezed,
So I decided to move far away from the hustle and the bustle,
wheres all I have to worry about is what is that woodland noisy rustle,
could be a black bear, coyote, wolf or a moose,
and when I get my mail every day have to run so they don't bite my big caboose,
But thats ok I'm starting to feel at home for the holidays in the hills,
getting used to the 8 foot snow drifts and the night time animal shrills,
while getting into my vehicle can be quite an ordeal,
running like a fugitive till I get inside of it in my camouflage gear,
But I have a plan B just in case living in the hills doesn't all work out,
I'll just move to Florida where the humidity and big bugs will bother me no doubt,
where I'll buy my own little house hopefully sinkhole free and keep it fumigated,
and pretend to have a white Christmas even though its 85 degrees out while getting chased by an alligator.
Happy Holidays Everyone!
12-24-16
I dream of a right and jolly Christmas
I don’t dream of a white or snowy Christmas
It’s very slippery and treacherous when it snows
To go to church, I wear leather shoes
And it’s easy to fall and get hurt
I don’t want to break your heart
By saying that white Christmas
Isn’t a fun or joyful time. But Midnight Mass
Is of course a joyous time. I love the Xmas carols
The gospel music, the decorations and when the bell tolls
I love a warm and holy jolly Christmas in the sunshine state
Where it’s dry, inviting and nice. It’s like being out on a date
With Mother Nature. The weather is not crabby or gloomy
The children are playing with their gifts and everybody seems happy
I don’t dream of a white or snowy Christmas
Oh Ho Ho Ho! I love a right and jolly Christmas.
Copyright © December 2023, Hébert Logerie, All rights reserved.
Hébert Logerie is the author of several collections of poems.
Una Navidad Correcta Y Alegre
Sueño con una Navidad correcta y alegre
Nunca sueño con una Navidad blanca o nevada
Es muy resbaladizo y traicionero cuando nieva
Para ir a la iglesia uso zapatos de cuero
Y es fácil caerse y lastimarse
No quiero romper tu corazón
Al decir que esa blanca Navidad
No es un momento divertido o alegre. Pero la misa de medianoche
Por supuesto, es un momento feliz. Me encantan los villancicos
La música góspel, las decoraciones y cuando doblan las campanas
Me encanta una Navidad cálida y alegre en el estado del sol, en Florida
Donde sea seco, atractivo y agradable. Es como tener una cita
Con la Madre Naturaleza. El clima no es malhumorado ni sombrío
Los niños juegan con sus regalos y todos parecen felices
No sueño con una Navidad blanca o nevada
¡Oh, Jo, Jo, Jo! Me encanta una Navidad correcta y alegre.
PD. Traduccíon de ‘ A Right And Jolly Christmas’ por Hébert Logerie
Copyright © diciembre de 2023, Hébert Logerie, Todos los derechos reservados.
Hébert Logerie es autor de varias colecciones de poemas.
My Christmas was red.
red big C7 lights that burned hot on pine needles
red wrapping paper hiding mysterious wonders
red like a shiny new bike smelling of store
red like Rudolph and Santa’s suit, candy canes and fingers eating cookies with sprinkles
red like parents in the basement, partying
red “Go to bed.” as you lay in the dark, anticipating, watching the window candles till you hear the sound of someone, downstairs at dawn
Red lights gone.
My Christmas was green.
green trees that smelled of fresh pine when in the house
green big C7 lights that weren’t as bright as the red
green and smelling like new money for a gift
green like holly and plastic mistletoe
green round fresh wreath on the front door from Judy’s flowers
green, like the world in the 50’s and 60’s
green like winter dreams
My Christmas was blue.
blue like quiet C7 lights in the basement
blue like a star filled winter night
blue bulbs broken on the floor
blue like a full moon on a fresh snow
blue like Christmas cards and icicles
blue like a manger scene
blue you, who knew.
My Christmas was gold.
Gold like angel trumpets and decorations in the church balcony.
Gold like my mother’s set of three window candles
Gold doll hair
Gold tinsel
Gold ribbon around presents that you used scissors to turn into curls
Gold plated crowns on the heads of the three kings in the Christmas pageant
Gold tree garlands
Gold like riches.
My Christmas was white
white like the star on top of the tree
white like the little church under the tree
white like the skirt around the tree
white like the coating of snow one year
white like the tracks in the yard my parents said were from reindeer
white angel hair on Christmas trees, fiberglass that almost ate your skin
white like they say Christmases should be
white like the world in '59
white like the song "White Christmas"
white, like right.
12/6/17
Childhood Christmas Memories
Sponsor Bic Gi-Sa
Christmas for the poor
too many food on the table
in different varieties and colours
so many modern design of
silver spoons and knife's
all around the table
in white colours with White
candles
besides the rich food table
stands the Christmas tree
which hardly you could see
cos it is decorated and almost
covered with gifts
oh what a Christmas
I can't wait for that evening
the rich hope and say
with joy and confidence
cos the cash is available for
their wish
oh what a rich Christmas
a big White Christmas
Christmas for the poor
Christmas is never white
for the poor
cos we can't afford it cost
despite we are Christians
how could we when we live
by 1dollar per day
how could we dish out
various dishes
decorate our table with
lots of food and design
our old tables with heavy
expensive silver spoons
when we were never born
with one
how could our belly be
filled when we have little
food but too much mouth
to eat
how could we wear new Christmas
cloths when our wages
can't afford us one
we hardly play the Christmas music
cos electricity is cut off from
our home
what a Christmas
a very ugly one the
Christmas for the poor
Christmas for the poor
in this new Christmas
on the corner
stretch your hands to the
needy
gave to the homeless
gave to the motherless
gave to the widows
gave just gave to the poor
gave beyond just families
remember the hungry ones
they need a rice for Christmas
let humanity leads our gift
this new Christmas
cos when you are richly
celebrating Christmas
remember the poor Christians
they are the why
I write this worlds of truth
they are the victims of
corruption deceit and lies
so help stop poverty In this
Christmas
cos out there their are too many
Christmas for the poor