Long Very weird Poems
Long Very weird Poems. Below are the most popular long Very weird by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Very weird poems by poem length and keyword.
Inspired by Joseph Mays limerick contest.
(not for contest )
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A mischievous chef known as McMurray
For a joke put Epsom salts in the curry
The toilet door he did lock
The customers were in shock
He left by the back door in a great hurry.
An astronomer by the name of Pete
Was perving at the lady cross the street
Full moon he did spy
But not in the sky
He got caught and went as white as a sheet.
There was a dodgy plumber called John Blake
No plumbing skills was a bit of a fake
The wrong nut he undone
Panicked went on the run
Now downstairs of the house has its own lake.
A randy teacher called Fred O'Hare
With a young girl he had an affair
But she told her dad
Who went hopping mad
Now Fred is getting medical care .
There was a very weird poet from Bude
Loved to sit out writing verse in the nude
A wasp stung his manhood
Screamed out as you would
Doc said that's what you get for being rude .
The rat looked at me with pink eyes and said:
'Hey, it's me, can't you see? I'm not really dead!'
I was ready to shoo but then checked my stride,
it hadn't been that long ago since you died.
I shooed anyway and the rat scurried off,
of this reincarnation lark - I'd had enough,
once you're gone, you're gone, leave things alone,
instead of shaking, like a dog with a bone.
You were lucky you were here at all, maybe unlucky,
look what you had to endure - even meeting me;
I turned to go inside before any other apparitions appeared,
let's face it chaps, this life of ours was very weird.
Maybe when we get into the next 'plan,' we can get rid of:
intransigence, rogue dictators, death and the elephant god.
“Students make delicious treat for seniors”
What a sacrifice those students are making
It warms the cockles of this old man's heart
Such a sweet and unselfish undertaking
“Flaming toilet seat causes mass evacuation”
A bunch of patrons soiled their undies
As the saying goes. “Know what burns my ass?”
Applies as you try to extinguish your panties
“Teen pregnancies drop off after twenty-five”
Well, I certainly would hope that's the case
That's a dirty big family in any man's language
For the beds, you'd soon run out of space
“Veterinarians take over as panda mating fails”
Okay, now I've got this strange mental picture
It's definitely X-rated if you ask this old guy
An unprecedented and very weird mixture
“Stiff opposition expected to casket proposal”
It's kind of what you would probably expect
Given the condition of the deceased inside
I mean really, we should show some respect
“Head of African country seeks arms”
Wow! Just a head and a couple of arms
What a weird sight that would turn out to be
Most people would sure be alarmed
“Studies have shown that obesity rubs off”
Well, if that's the case, I'll be rubbing
Every day and night till my skin turns raw
Till I get back my happy old zing!
© Jack Ellison 2013
You gave it 6 years
Just not meant to be
You shed zero tears
But what about me
A nerdy, know it all
Reminds me of dad
But damnit, I love him
He’s family, not fad
It took me some time
To warm to his ways
Accepting his rhyme
Unique style of play
He was so very weird
But weird became good
His intentions clear
He stood where he stood
He was never ashamed
And that, I respect
At times he seemed lame
Now that I, Reflect
But, here at the end
Imperfections are moot
We welcomed him in
His weird, became cute
I don’t want to do this
To lose my dear brother
I resent who comes next
I wish for no other
How can I be friends
With a home wrecking lad
I’m tired of new trends
I loved what we had
(Rhyme)
When I was reading Mr. Poe,
I noticed that many of his poems,
Have something more in common,
They're all full of woes and problems!
x x x
The other day I was reading Mr. Edgar Allan Poe,
When I noticed that something was really wrong,
When he wrote his famous "Raven" poem,
His bird repeated himself far too long!
x x x
I was reciting Mr.Poe,
To my class, when I saw that his crow,
Was talking back really slow,
So I told him just to go!
x x x
When I was researching Mr. Allan Poe,
I observed something very weird,
It was that his silly crow,
Was really a very stupid BIRD!!!
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2014
September.30.2014
The man in the elevator looked old and frail
He held a dog without a tail
The man held the dog so tight
It seemed as though the dog would bite
A liitle boy who was standing by
Opened his mouth wide and started to cry
A kind schoolgirl felt very sad
For the now screaming little lad
She was chewing bubblegum and gave some to the little one
Into the lift came a man who looked very weird
With dreadlocks, tattoos and a matted beard
A posh-looking woman held her hanky to her nose
She had a whiff of the odd-looking man, I suppose
At last, everyone in the elevator got out
Except for the old, frail man
All was part of a plan
He lifted his tailless dog into the elevator
And with a shout, he said, "Going up"
The lift gently ascended
I saw a young man and a pup
Hi Charlie
I do not write much at all these days. I saw your contest and I wanted to give it a try.
I realised after writing it that it was too long. I must read the instructions more carefully. It made me write. I enjoyed doing it. Thank You. I hope all is well with you.
Take care (Old Duck)
OF ROY AND PINCH BANDITS
Claims Roy one day
to have been approached
by an angel of GOD
alleges the said angel
brought him news
news that he would pass to glory
complete with day and time...
Come the day... Roy
arranges meeting with cece..
.. his beloved siz..
Roy unable to confess..to cece..
the truth.. bout his departure
ROY goes to university next..
bids friends goodbye...
Roy goes to a stall
buys daughter five tuna fish cans..
a parting gift from a loving ROY...
Roy boards shuttle..
Roy sits next to lovely..
very lovely ladies....
Roy never one to let a pretty girl
escape untalked... says hello
girl snobs ROY.. Roy knows his end is near
decides to say last prayers..
asks GOD to send someone .. to deliver
the tuna to daughter..and his love regards
ROY is snatched sudden by deep sleep..
waves and waves of it.. ROY surrenders..
zones out.. awoken by a sharp mosquito bite..
..or is it butterfly.. looks everywhere..
lovely girl gives him a weird look..
shuttle conductor gives him a weirder look..
waves and waves of sleep swallow ROY..
Awoken by sharp bites.. many of them....
wakes.. now every ones.. giving sweet Roy..
very weird looks.. Swallowed by waves again..
bites starts... ROY keeps eyes closed.. twitching..
half asleep half awake.. distance laughs
more bites and more bites..twitching..
shuttle has reached.. ROY surprised he..
he still lives.. ROY tries to alight...
legs give way under him..
steadies himself then walks home..
ROY arrived home minus three cans of tuna..
with huge bumps to prove them biting...
after relating to us the story..
every ones burst... with stitches of laugh..
teasing ROY to death..OH... hes just met
the famous pinch bandits... Oh oh oh..
the pinch bandits
pretty girls they are
they way lay celebrities
who are too exhausted to
open their eyes.. pinch them
pinch them and again pinch mm..
and ROY day was finally come..home
Lewis K Nyaga
0239 eastafrican maritime
As I sit here and ponder
About words someone once said,
My mind can’t help but wander.
They keep floating in my head.
Words so simple and easy,
So much rattling around.
But they tend to escape me.
I won’t stop until they’re found.
If I just concentrate more.
I heard the words many times.
I’ll find what I’m looking for,
Though I’m sure they had no rhymes.
They must have been plain as day.
I can almost remember.
At the time they came my way,
It was a cold day in December.
When I was just a child,
The words were so loud and stern.
Being foolish and wild,
I gave them little concern.
I was busy being me,
Like I didn’t have a care,
Feeling so happy and free,
Running fast from here to there.
I can picture where I was.
I think I have a notion.
But it’s very weird because
I see it in slow motion.
It was very late at night,
Our anniversary date.
Though I knew it wasn’t right,
I just didn’t want to wait.
I had very little wine,
So, I hopped into my car.
I figured I would be fine,
But I didn’t get too far.
As I jumped the curb and crashed,
I knocked my wife to the ground.
I must have been really trashed.
I heard not one, single sound.
When I got out of my car
And I held my wife so near,
Those five words were not so far.
They became so very clear.
When I looked into her eyes,
And while she was still alive,
And I knew she would soon die,
She said, “Please don’t drink and drive.”
Lucy was my little girl-friend with red hair,
at thirteen love can be so naive and fair...
only kissing on the lips while handling her a small note
that said, " I will wait until you'll be ready to enlope."
When she read it, she seemed puzzled with strangeness,
" Do children in Junior High enlope? I glanced at her and knew
that what she thought was very weird to accept or do,
but she went along with it...and this is what happened next.
Friday morning we were supposed to be in school taking tests,
instead we went for a stroll as Pinocchio did in his fateful day,
and on the way there, we found many who had run away...
they looked at us and yelled," Go back to school, you silly heads! "
So we spent an entire night outside watching moon and stars,
listening to the cricket's melody on a meadow as bright as midday...
not fearing anything or anyone unless a wandering dog would surprise;
we loved it all the way, not caring what our parents woud do or say.
Little girl-friend with red hair was the cause of my childish silliness,
I got grounded since I passed that note knowing what would have cost;
when Lucy grew up she found a smarter boy-friend, I had to bear the loss...
realizing that not refraining from puppy love, I would have deserved less.
Entered in Michael J. Falotico's contest,
" Passing A love Note "
Written by Andrew Crisci
PART I.
I.
each night...
I think about the moment when we'll vanish
on the doormat of an empty house
because I know some day they will come -
the malignant conquistadors and their moon colored hounds
when this century of the sleepless will come to an end
so I'm trying to unravel the missing monologues
while indulging in many contradictions
stranded on remote beaches
seeking the redemption with sand in my hair
like a famished cormorant rambling the landfill
in a very weird mental state
II.
it's becoming clear...
that time has shunned this godforsaken place
and as I'm following the familiar landmarks
following the strange candlelit pathways
I know that your bedroom is in a saltwater heaven
far away from the angry masses
becalming myself in my transient refuge
while you're deploying your crying talent
we went loose from our moorings and you refused the safety buoy
now tide of our sensations is coming up fast
turning us into these crumpled wrecks
left to rust at the shallow bay
III.
these sleeping islands...
are just relics of my hopes, diaries of fading sunlight
after we carved our scriptures on the dormant rocks
creating museums of our own memories
at the very edge of despair
and I think that we'll never be missed
you, me and my companion of delusions
but remember dear, there are no boundaries
be sure that I'd row my soul over the vast seas
to see you standing on the abandoned shoreline
and our handprints will fossilize in the interim
imprinting the fatal visions to rocky soil