Long Vasectomy Poems
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We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz
Because, because, because, because---
Because of the wonderful things he does! …
My name is America, once a land of opportunity
Where gangs rule inner cities, with utter impunity
Where generations live and die at the point of a gun
In 'combat zones' without shelters, with nowhere to run
My name is America, and I've lost my soul
Traded it for *********** and the Super Bowl
Sold it for a work-week of 70-plus hours
In a race to the top for unbridled power
My name is America, and I'm as confused as can be
Not sure if I'm male or female, or a speaking monkey
Should I abort my baby, get a vasectomy?
When I get older, will euthanasia be right for me?
My name is America; I worship money
Faith is for fools; Religion, odd and funny
Morality's only relative, and it's ever-evolving
Narcissism reigns: Around ourselves we're revolving...
So I'm off to the Wizard, to reclaim my lost soul
To put an end to ghettos, to the inter-generational dole
To clear up my confusion, to restore my belief
To be proud to be an American ~ to breathe a sigh of relief
She came from humble beginnings
A happy ,only child
A quiet, loving family
Her parents both meek and mild
A unassertive, shy girl
By many considered plain
She had a few good friends
Her strength her bright, enquiring brain
She studied hard which she enjoyed
Like many young girls she dreamed of romance
Sadly, it never came her way
No male attention, no first kiss, no first dance
Her desire was to be a lawyer
Which she easily achieved
She flourished and blossomed over the years
Male attention and pursuit she now received
She dated many then found the one
A kind , thoughtful, loving man
She married late, she was happy
Years had flown by … so a baby was the immediate plan
Becoming pregnant did not come easily
In fact it didn’t happen at all
It was all she thought about and wanted
As an older woman…. this was her one and only call
Due to their hectic schedules seperate Drs they did see
Their tests showed there was no obvious reason why
“Keep on trying” was the advice for now
Tears of pure sadness she did cry
He lay on the kitchen floor
Covered in blood and without breath
She stood over him bloodied knife in hand
Knife wounds to his chest… is how he met his death
She had found his hidden papers
Completely distraught ,devastated by his dishonesty
He had robbed her only chance of having a child
When two years ago….he had a vasectomy!
The vasectominator.
His name is the vasectominator, and he’s as dangerous as an alligator.
Daytime he’ll perform your vasectomy, and night-time he’s you’re worst enemy.
He’s a doctor that is worse than Shipman, one that’s as deadly as a hitman.
He’s a serial killer masquerading in disguise, and murder is his goal, it’s his prize.
pain is his pleasure and one to him that’s a game, he vows to kill, to seek notoriety and fame.
His victims are his patients –they're his easy prey, he’ll sterilise them then attack them as in their beds they lay.
He’ll get their address and details from the surgery files, then on the night will break into your house wearing a disguise.
So, if you are thinking of getting a vasectomy – beware the vasectominator, he’ll target you with glee.
(This is a fictional poem)
My neighbor does something that's out of sight.
He has babies by himself because he's a hermaphrodite.
He has one baby after another.
It's not easy being both a father and a mother.
He was raised to believe that it's wrong for a father and mother to be unwed so
he married himself.
He has twenty kids so he's not big on wealth.
He wears dresses in public and he looks weird.
He's the only person in a dress who has a beard.
People tell him that he should stop having babies and he agrees.
But he doesn't know whether he's supposed to get his tubes tied or to have a
vasectomy.
Form:
Kavanaugh the Jury’s out, guilty or not guilty... you decide!
Supreme judge divine
or lying swine?
Suspect Diaper
Smelly and crappy
must change nappy!
Phew what’s that smell
Left parting ‘gift’
farted in lift!
Hangover from hell
Too much drink ...
sick in sink
Burning from both ends
Oops, I forgot
chillies are hot!
Vasectomy Clinic Appointment
Undoes his zip –
time for snip!
Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire
Driving his car -
dropped his cigar!
Six-word couplet series Encore
Sponsored by Mark Toney
10/7/18
Six-Word Couplet Series
Lie spy
Innocent victim dies
Novichock poisoner lies
No deal Brexit
Has Theresa May
Had her day?
Donald Trump
He’s a deadbeat -
Read daily tweet!
Is he really the President
Donald is reckless
Ruthless and feckless
Pure indulgence
I devour candy
Whilst drinking brandy
Burning from both ends
Oops, I forgot
chillies are hot!
Vasectomy Clinic Appointment
Undoes his zip –
Time for snip!
Sponsored by Mark Toney
Six-Word Couplet Series Contest
9/22/18
They had two children
a boy and a girl
They'd done their bit
for a crowded world
Billions then living in poverty
Conditions heartbreakingly unsanitary
The 'moral' thing for parents to do
If having kids, stop at two
So dad had a vasectomy
Quickly and quite easily
His tubes were tied
Hs conscience satisfied...
Yet just eight months later
He wished he'd had
an appendectomy
or tonsillectomy --
anything but a vasectomy
,
For his baby daughter had died of SIDS
and now he could father no more kids
Just as painful, down the road
his son came out as gay
~ No grandchildren for him; no way
"Be fruitful and multiply"
Was commanded not just to the fruit fly
But to Adam and Eve, now mocked with mirth --
Though my poor friend with a vasectomy
Knows only pain on this Earth
He wants you to have as many children as you can
Not to think that you're privy to the Divine plan
Revoking Doc's License #1
A word from the State Medical Board committee
The #1 injection will always be P.D.
Doc, I am considering to slam you out of pity
I do not mess with poets whose licenses come from Hello Kitty.
You overdose my patient RED, getting down to the nitty gritty.
At this time, your practice has been revoke
For coming after me as I wear my black cloak.
I got a grip on my scythe pressed against your throat.
Pees running down your legs leaving you all soak
Doc, I got your body full of Narcotics and Painkillers as a joke.
Dropping you like a lawsuit on the examination table with one smack.
Denying you morphine as your vasectomy goes wrong in this attack
I already drove you insane labeling you a quack.
Your hand I flushed in (TRANQUILIZER), slapping you with a black Jack.
Waking up without your gems blood all over your sack.
Restrain you in a straitjacket, throwing you in a padded room.
Covered in your own s*it as you were in your mother’s womb
Poet-ing like a disco biscuit on ecstasy, before I made you go SKAT-boom!
Engraving your Poetic Doctor Degree on the outside of your tomb.
With the words that speak, P.D. was the cause of your poetic doom.
by;P.D.