Long Toots Poems

My dog's as smart as a geek.
He can bark in English, Arabic, and Greek.
He’s expert in canine mathematics,
can discuss dog-fight aerodynamics,
and is fluent in bow-wow doublespeak.
And yours?

Would it be okay if later today
I brought Bixby...

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It's Christmas eve dawn
and something is very wrong
For the children unable to wait
watching for Santa and it's late
The stockings are empty not even a lump of coal
no presents under the tree did Santa bestow
Three little...

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(*The Gift)
This here is a side trip, nothing more,
To our country home far and away.
Grandparents own one by the seashore,
This a gift, gramps in-law and mentor,
They raised teen/gramps, not a runaway.

Gramps helped older sis and...

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~JSLambert does not (currently:) use, or encourage hallucinogenic drug use.

    Telepathic psilocybin prescription erasing elastic depression. Competition 
wanes, just when nocturnal emission drains. Lifted poetic wing clipping. This 
party only makes sense...

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Dragon made the papers for that very unfortunate Church event, toots sweet.
Then Dragon, suddenly, decided to finger-paint billboards, all over the town.
He’d discovered painting was sooo cool, and wanted to, spread his joy around.
It wouldn’t...

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Players So Short

Even if my players are still so short,
Can count on God when on the court;
Defend and depend,
Until very end;
Trough trials and tribulations did support.

Jim Horn

Will Believe and Receive
.
Remember when in God we always...

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I Am: Hello guys it’s an honor, fellows

Moe:  HELLO! 
Larry: HELLO!
Curly: HELLO!  
The Three Stooges:  HELLOS!

I Am:  You’re known as half-wits, birdbrains, knuckleheads, 
       ...

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The Elves were in a pickle
As the Reindeer brought forth a crucial stat.
They would surely die... should they attempt to fly
Now dear Santa was too fat.
Their contract was clearly structured
To keep them safe and sound.
Where...

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I saw you standing by tree holding on to the leaves and folding your hands as the untold mystery with bare back and rocks walk through the wood looking for the man.

 I stand aloof...

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Let me tell you about Duluth…one of the many highlights of our trip

She has an aerial lift bridge (which from our hotel room we could view)
where the entire road is lifted up so the big...

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By the light of the pinkest prettiest orange moon Faerie folk had ever seen,
There was a haze such as the elves could have invented, but maybe not.
It was the magical bewitching hour, and the meadow...

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(A throw-back piece, a breakup poem from high school)

What a lonely, peculiar, eccentric figure I must be. A girl, in a garden, crying at an iPad, in the dark.

Earlier, at school...

It was a clear spelling...

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It was shiny and bright sitting under the tree.
There were other things there, but that's all I could see:
a Lionel toy train on a circular track!
The caboose was maroon and the engine was black.

And to...

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The Case Of The Lady In Red

My name is Smith,
That’s Smith N. Wesson.
I’m a licensed P I,
And I carry a big ass gun.

This case started on a Tuesday,
When she walked into my life.
The dame dressed...

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Prospector Pete had roamed the hills fer years searchin' fer gold!
He and his faithful burro, Fred, were both growin' weary and old.
He'd looked fer color in many a mountain and stream in Colorado,
Lookin' fer that...

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Here's a good question - What would YOU do
If a plane you were sitting in, travelling to
Some hot sunny beach or a swimming pool blue

Suddenly started to shake and to shiver?
Making its passengers tremble and...

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Prospector Pete had roamed the hills fer years searchin' fer some gold.
He and his faithful burro, Fred, were both growin' weary and old.
He'd looked fer color in many a mountain and stream in Colorado,
Lookin' fer...

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Dear Mom:  I'm in the Army now and faring pretty well.
The chow ain't too bad but how those Sergeants love to yell!
I thought it tough abiding by your rigid rules and regulations,
But they pale...

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Students Shaky Sing-A-Long

***A bolted school bus amidst bobbing heads rolls downhill...  

Fictitious dank bathroom basin bailing;
a mother's kiss and general list spelled.
That rickety school bus horn toots, trailing;
wide-eyed, groomed hair, texts deftly being held.  

Screeched...

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this company is heading straight to the top
with our new improved line of fairy farts
soon our catch phrase will be all over the place
a slight touch of magic in a jar

first and foremost a disclaimer...

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Yesterday, the snow fell, laced lazily 
all across the frozen field; grace fell down.
My heart raced, apace in a minor key
troubles fled erased from me, was my frown. 

Seemed semblances filled my life-weary head 
so...

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His old man played in Miles city,
a learned trumpeter from Mississippi.
High notes were the only thing he hit,
paving the future for his son to make it.

All those warm Cajun summer nights,
of weathered gazebo's and fluorescent...

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His old man played in Miles city,
a learned trumpeter from Mississippi.
High notes were the only thing he hit,
paving the future for his son to make it.

All those warm Cajun summer nights,
of weathered gazebo's and fluorescent...

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Thai's - out of respect,
may not look directly at you
until they are sure you are riddled
with the dead.

There are village ghosts and mountain ghosts,
river ghosts and jungle ghosts,
some ghost haunt each other
and form clouds in...

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With Christmas time coming
It's time to call Jack
Sears needs a Santa
to get the Families back

They look for his number
It's no where to be found
They look in all the drawers
Managers buzzing all around

Then almost like magic
Who...

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