Long Telemarketer Poems

A Solution to Telemarketers That Actually Works

By Elton Camp

Those of you who are regular readers will find this different from anything I’ve published before.  It’s not a poem and not a prose article that...

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 I needed a job to pay the bills
not knowing what I was getting into.
A telemarketing company if you can believe
selling pieces of Titanic’s carpet with a view.

They said it was a great opportunity
but they...

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Five days of hell
on the phone, selling lies
and pieces of the Titanic carpet.
A sinking ship of a company
with a captain who gropes and leers
and a crew who watches it happen.

Five days of pain
standing all day...

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Crickety china the Chinese chicken                              ...

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A satire by Elton Camp

“To find what type of job you are best fitted to and then to secure an opportunity to pursue it, is the key to happiness.”  -- John Dewey

For me, it’s...

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A Metamucil Moment"

Woke up this morning
Feeling rather blue
Ran out of Metamucil
Don't know what to do

Muscles really aching
Joints are creaky sore
I ran out of Ben-Gay
Have to run down to the store

Blood pressure medicine
Seems too have disappeared
Can't...

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An Ideal Job Is Easily Found

By Elton Camp

“To find what type of job you are best fitted to and then to secure an opportunity to pursue it, is the key to happiness.”  -- John...

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There is no law that says that I must keep a Twitter page
and write on it my actions of each and every day
There is no law to force me to answer my telephone
Or even to...

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Oh, the joy of telemarketers,
Who call you up without a care,
With offers they believe are clever,
But really just provoke despair.

They call with grand insurance plans,
Covid kits and credit schemes,
As if I’m some prized target
For their...

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By Elton Camp

Sam much too intently does insist
Green eggs and ham not be missed

I don’t like them isn’t good enough
Sam persistently promotes the stuff

He is very much like a telemarketer
When lack of interest is made...

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I woke as usual this morning
The first thought of my day being
What words am I going to use today?
Will they be words of hate?
Will they be words of love?
Will they be unkind words,laced with cruelty?
Alternatively,words...

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The a/c in the truck has been broken
I adjust the wing window, but it's sucking
Another red light and I'm steering wheel tapping
There is a rattle in the speaker that's blasting

The summer breeze is just hot...

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kissing you in this dream
then getting bitten by the truth
i guess that is why it is called later youth
the bloom of me is now wilted
i feel like damaged goods
i was a vulnerable future evictee
you were...

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This lonely drive to work, I barely felt alive
I felt a little quirk, on this mundane drive

I pulled over to make a call, next to a park
My secretary called, then my screen went dark

I proceeded...

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I heard a ringing, it must be my phone.
So, off I ran, I was home alone.

I looked high, I looked low.
I even looked in the Freezer below.

I looked upstairs and down again.
I looked in the...

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Out of Area
Was on the caller ID
I wonder which telemarketer
It can be

It was for children
Who were in need
Fro fallen sheriffs
Was they're plead

$25, $40, $50
What would suit you best?
I told her send the kids to me
I'll...

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