Long Teetotaler Poems

Au revoir oh perilous freedom...

Since pledging my troth
to the missus July 25th, 1996
after the comma error
punctuated mein kampf with disequilibrium.

Ever since the notions
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
coalesced within the mindscape
attributed to one
or more...

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Extra...extra...Trumpasaurus Extinction...
iz only wishful thinking

Political polls whether advisory still consider 
forty fifth president 
dangerous, hazardous, lymphomatous...
known to wield violent blows,
his delusional perception analogous 
to fable regarding emperor without any clothes
best to handle beast with more'n...

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Voting without aggravation...

Otherwise known as
absentee ballot/ mail-in ballot
if ye read no further... please exercise
opportunity to cast ballot
obviously freedom to choose,
but take serious stock of human bondage
(desperately calling out
for their Maugham me)
regarding: economy, integrity, monetary, xyz...

Anyway,...

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Inexplicable blessing luckily
avoiding potentially grim fate
finds yours truly coming to grips,
how afterlife did not accommodate

the missus, and/or myself unwittingly
loved ones would never acclimate
reality of our permanent absence,
thus existence all the more I appreciate
and attempt poetically...

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Disguised as an Apple Computer Technician.

He initially hacked Macbook Pro laptop.

He (alias Harvey Specter)
planted seeds of suspicion
that criminal activity prevailed
within my geographic area in general
or questionable individuals
lurked within or without
Citizens Bank in particular,
and suggested yours...

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In Ordinary Cups

The blades of winter grind into the ice
like blood on a bitten lip
two lovers spin and twirl
The days pass from teacup to teacup
in the peaceful silence of a solitary nest.
From gentle easy sunrise...

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Ofttimes yours truly assiduously tries to adlib,
but blubbers like a landlubber
at sea treading water donned with bib
(that doubles as yellow
spongy bobbing life jacket)

furiously doing doggy paddle
riding the next tidal wave
hoop fully washing me ashore to...

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Yours truly borrows a phrase
courtesy the great bard
also known as
William Shakespeare's Hamlet:
"For 'tis the sport ...
Hoist by one's own petard
meaning "victimized or hurt 
by one's own scheme”.

The aforementioned excerpt
hopefully describes the fate
to befall president of...

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Off and running sure-footed, fast, and furious. "Under the sun, there's nothing new", says the writer. "Renewal, restoration in the new year", says the reformer.
          ...

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Along luscious green acres banks steep grade
(in close proximity to 
Petticoat Junction) naturemade
Perkiomen Valley watershed,
verdant landscape displayed
yours truly, (a garden variety
proto human) arrayed

solely donning birthday suit,
whose fifty plus shades hair gone grayed,
i.e. one infinitesimal measly...

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A couple nights ago
(today being August 4th, 2021)
while walking around the parking lot after dark
over yonder shrieking catcall heard - hark
at first methought, a baby experienced distress,
I immediately scratched that notion
far fetched as sound out...

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One month into summer 2022 elapsed here...

Within Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania,
thus far marginal rainfall for season
nevertheless...the hazy, hot and humid dog days
meanwhile (gad) Zeus  
tiredly huffs and puffs...with a growl
regarding thunderstorm unable to make headway

against...

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(buzzfeeding, kickstarting, needling darn noggin)

An effort to recall word, phrase,
musician... indigenous tribe...
most frustrating literary
endeavor to das scribe

aggravating enough to sub
bourbon spur teetotaler to imbibe
and/or nsync, whereby soul searching
devil's advocate demands bribe.

Lil brokeback Engelbert Humperdinck
(born Arnold...

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One Month Into Winter 2019 Elapsed Here...

Within Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania,
thus far marginal snowfall
yet...the Furies of old man winter
huffs and puffs...with gall
unable make headway

against invisible firewall
shielding this area 
of the keystone state haul
in tandem with the...

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Unseen talon sharp claws...
dig deep into mine
psyche soft underbelly
piercing bedrock of
     core (puss) being
     akin to butter knife
slicing thru peanut
butter and jelly

unable to preserve
an iota of calm,
which...

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Sunshine undulates across verdant plain
casting dark shadows ushering twilight zone
ringing athwart tree trunks
invigorating, joyously kickstarting, 
and plenti revitalizing
bountiful nature buzzfeeding 

vim, vinegar  and spunk
caressing, massaging, and palpating with
soundlessness inducing bub bully giddy,
and sudsy spongy...

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within Zieglerville, pennsylvania

genuine snow white hair 
upon her noggin doth adorn,
perhaps she will divulge to me (in private) 
after i croon (to said lass), 

the melody of Jimmy Crack Corn
hmm...or, maybe this mission 
perchance twill...

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Taking Today's Tumblerful Tea Time

This teetotaler turns to tea
torquing temptation
towards tippling
thankfully, though
that tremendous tugging

teasing tendency thirst trumped,
thru teaching this totally tubular
toothless titular Texan thuggish tyrant
(titled Tsar Terry Troutman)
transcendental theology

tenets taught transferring
torpedoing, taming threatening
titanic tsunami tempest
tastefully...

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This teetotaler turns to tea
torquing temptation
towards tippling
thankfully, though
that tremendous tugging

teasing tendency thirst trumped,
thru teaching this totally tubular
toothless titular Texan thuggish tyrant
(titled Tsar Terry Troutman)
transcendental theology

tenets taught transferring
torpedoing, taming threatening
titanic tsunami tempest
tastefully tickling temperance
testing trying taut...

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Mary Yelvington
1876-1910

George Towne, now there was a man;
Handsome as the devil; 
Strong as a bougainvillea vine.
And married to the redoubtable Fannie Towne,
Town shill, and occasional teetotaler of the dry brew!
Ol’ Fannie was oblivious to the...

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My shew is no longer breathing
This I really do lament
My shrew is no longer kicking
I find myself in torment;
I wonder where its soul went;
Could it be Alaska or Benelux?
This death definitely sucks
For it was a...

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From birth to a toddler 
As a toddler to teenager 
From teenage to adolescent 
And as I grew up 
I knew I'm weird
I knew am unique 
I knew am an enigma 
I knew am different...

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IN THE FLOWER OF HIS YOUTH

You are what you eat?
Bill, a young  guy,  friend of mine  -
Teetotaler and keen gardener neat -
Drank nothing but  dandelion wine.

Like Dr Moreau’s Island modus operandi...

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Mistake:
Watch me do
impressions of you.

Alcoholic:
Keen to sop
up every drop.

Alternative Realty:
Truth don't matter,
bacon don't splatter.

Discerning:
Only expensive wine,
when we dine.

Teetotaler:
Enjoy your beer,
just not here.

Politician:
I don't lie,
you're my guy.

Nasty Waitress:
Be right there,
like I care.

Divorced Couple:
That's our song,
what went...

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THINGS  NOT  TO  MENTION

Condoms in the Vatican
Soul music to the klansman
      Pork chops to the rabbi
      Bomb joke on an aircraft in...

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