Long Stogie Poems
Long Stogie Poems. Below are the most popular long Stogie by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Stogie poems by poem length and keyword.
In a house I don’t live in
there’s a wife I don’t live with.
It all makes perfect sense,
the pillow is a dream-snatcher
it reveals other people’s dreams.
A movie I watched late at night
turns out to be my life
in black and white,
the 1940’s were big on
unintentional nostalgia.
My head skips out of one fantasy
into another.
Someone is dreaming of me.
Someone is in my mind
is smoking a reeking cigar
opening and closing doors
snooping.
Please don’t smoke in my mind.
The dream guy falls asleep in an easy chair,
The hot ash from the stogie turns to flames.
I am outside my mind now
looking in
as firefighters fight a losing battle.
One again sleep damage
jolts me awake
just to tell me to sleep.
She was a wily cigar chompin' gambler with the moniker of Poker Alice,
Renowned throughout the west for her skill in many a gamblin' palace!
Poker Alice had a good head for countin' and with her very cunnin' guile,
(Plus her beauty), she mesmerized her opponents, amassin' quite a pile!
Poker Alice worked in saloons across the west as a faro and poker dealer.
She worked in Creede, Colorado for Bob Ford, that notorious stealer!
Because of her pious rearin' as a girl, she refused to work on Sundays,
But she was back smokin' a two-dollar stogie and dealin' cards on Mondays!
She drifted to Deadwood, South Dakota, where her notoriety was well known,
And married a house painter named Tubbs who was a deft gambler on his own!
Later she established a brothel near Fort Mead Army Post with her ill-gotten gain.
The place was small and she needed funds to fix the 'house' on Pleasure Lane!
To expand and recruit 'soiled doves' from Kansas City she applied for a loan.
The banker scratched his skull sayin', "I dunno! That's a risk into the unknown!"
She convinced him notin' that The Grand Old Army had an encampment near,
And for the soldiers' bent for visitin' hog ranches, he had nothin' at all to fear!
Things didn't go well since she plumb forgot The Methodist Preachers' Convention,
Convened each and every year and she hadn't figured on that intervention!
Poker Alice's fame and notoriety followed her well beyond her wanin' years.
She died after a gall bladder operation with her 'house' payments in arrears!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 4 in Don Johnson's " Your Old Ballad Or Rhyme - Best Of All Time" Contest
July 2011
hot cocoa with a marshmallow and a straw stick, please dear.
surprised the bartender, he didn’t get many of this kind in here.
You’re a bovine, right? He asked the calf wearing the jaunty smile.
My mommy and daddy think so; they live on a ranch called six mile.
I think they might have met in this bar, the old timer said.
Did your mama dance her hooves off and wear flashy red?
calf was shocked, he did not know anything about their courting days.
I guess I could ask my daddy, he said. This sounds like a phase.,
Don’t quote me said the barkeep, I get a lot of things wrong.
But did your father smoke a stogie? And can he sing a song?
Not my daddy, the calf said, maybe some other guy.
His mother would have disagreed with a long poignant sigh.
On The Prairie
Congregated on the prairie western clear with beasts
Cowboy chews tobacco, swirls black liquid, spits
Projectile clean, target hit, lizard quick
Long tongued creature stunned
No time to snatch a timid bug
So much hungry love undone
Reptile rolls over rounded rock pin ball like
Looks both ways before crossing into dark
Cowpoke silhouetted, floated on campfire
Smiles Clint Eastwood style
Slips a small stogie through cracked dry lips
Moves it from left to right
Lights it, inhales harsh life
Jagged teeth, yellow, tinted by time
Clinched while he thinks about old wars
A warrior down to the core
Grins at the beans bubbling up
Old iron skillet and the western sky
Gazes at the long lost stars through smoke
Shakes sand off hat and boots when done
Speaks not a single word
But with a sigh he rises and rides off
He’s somebody’s grandpa I bet, we all said.
He had wandered into our family reunion around nine.
Grandma rolled her eyes and set him in front of the TV.
He smelled like chew, his flannel shirt was a bit wrinkled.
He was unkempt but clean, a relative maybe?
No one knew, but we kept our opinions to ourselves.
He lit up a stogie and watched the news past our heads.
Grandma brought him a tray with bacon, eggs and two piece of toast.
As she turned to go he gave her a playful pat on her petootsie ootsie.
We young ones laughed; earning sharp looks from our parents.
We never did find out who the guy was, but figured he was an Iowan.
This was 1962, when children did not know the ways of grownups.
I have never forgotten the pat on grandma’s petootsie ootsie
Or the way the old dude’s face lit up when he looked at me and grinned.
I pegged him as Granddaddy’s replacement, but never saw him again.
FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS -
Bad-*** old bear:
Grizzly
Grizzly
Dachshund making critical life choices:
Eenie
Weenie...
Cougar from Arizona:
Yuma
Puma
Cowardly Cock-a-Doodle-Doer:
Chicken
Chicken
Slave Driving Beaver:
Dam it
Damn it!
Aptly named female feathered friend:
Robin
Robin
Alaska poacher gets mauled by a:
Polar's
Molars
Overweight Terrier:
Porky
Yorkie
Scavenger Mores:
Vulture
Culture
After sex, bears often share a:
Yogi
Stogie
Neutered Tomcat:
Benign
Feline
Wolf in Sheep’s clothing:
Mutton
Glutton
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
Teenie
Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
.........................................
RANDOM AND RATHER REDICULOUS FOOTLES -
Overweight law enforcement official:
Whopper
Copper
Overweight Janitor:
Whopper
Mopper
Spaced-out church officer:
Freekin’
Deacon
Church officer forced to depend on Depends:
Leakin'
Deacon
Unhappy restaurant client:
Diner
Whiner
Cosa Nostra restaurant special:
Mobster
Lobster
Yep, you guessed it. A criminal Crustacean:
Lobster
Mobster
Why did she slap me? All I did was:
Toot her
Hooter
Careless Urologist:
Pecker
Wrecker
Ah! There is nothing, nothing that adds to a gentleman's persona,
Like that of fashionably sporting and puffing a five-dollar Corona!
With a cigar in his jowls, he can socialize with disdainful pretense!
Clad in his ten-dollar Goodwill suit, he exudes tawdry opulence!
What better way at the end of a sumptuous repast,
And after the snifters of brandy have been passed,
Than to light up an aromatic Presidente' with the fellows,
All puffing to keep the fire lit as a farrier does with his bellows!
The king on his throne and the bum in his shack enjoy equal pleasure,
Each puffing his favorite stogie, blissful beyond all measure!
I'm told that even some ladies enjoy a puff now and then.
I tip my fedora to them for they are braver than some men!
The aroma of my Panetella clings to everything in the house,
And that doesn't foster good relations with my loving spouse!
She admonishes me about that constantly as she stifles a choke,
And it aggravates her to see good money going up in smoke!
For decades I have enjoyed the pleasure of a fine cigar.
Never mind that doc says my lungs are filled with tar!
He's written an apt epitaph when my existence becomes moot:
"Here smolders this old galoot! He's puffed his final Cheroot!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved