Long Stinky Poems
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Lickety-split, I sit up and look at the clickety clock,
oh my gosh, why am I lollygagging in this cozy bed;
I am going to be so late for dance class, I better skedaddle,
so I canoodle my cats (hugs and kiss that is);
and like a flash I am out of bed!
Oh dear, what a rigmarole of unnecessary complexity,
I run to the kitchen and open a tin of, oh so stinky fish;
for the fur balls, (no accounting for taste,) my tummy rumbles,
I dress in my pink dance pants, brush my teeth;
I look in the mirror, holy macaroni!
I was going to wash the mop last night but didn't,
oh well, the flat iron turns me into a Cleopatra star;
then, I look outside, snow, lots of snow, blast I need boots,
oh yes under the bed where I flung them;
what a stupid kerfuffle!
Walking to dance, a bus sprays with me with slush,
darn nincompoop, I am thinking to myself and then;
a loud honk, and a car roars pass me, I almost have a stroke,
I finally make it and the receptionist says- cancelled,
cancelled, oh la-di-la, that's great!
I am walking back home when I step into a deep puddle,
and my feet are now soaking wet, I am just exhausted;
I will crawl back into my bed for a snoozle I say to me self,
but I am waylaid by my old fuddy-duddy neighbor;
dearie,(she whips out a grocery list)!
You know, I cannot walk in the snow, meantime her cat,
a fat Persian rubs my legs and I have fur from knees down;
but what can a girlie do, I turn around and hocus-pocus its done,
finally, I am standing in my bedroom all tatterdemalion,
like a child in rags, I feel like weeping!
And then I notice the collywobbles in my tummy,
like butterflies swirling, and then a great rumbling;
oh, damnation, I need something to eat, so I gongoozle,
stare that is, into the refrigerator, close the door, slam;
and grab a handful of cockamamie cookies!
_________________________
January 26, 2017
Poetry/Narrative/Lickety-Split
Copyright Protected, ID 17-8691-18-0
All Rights Reserved. Written Under Pseudonym.
Submitted to the contest , Any Poem Written in January 2017
Sponsor, Laura Loo
First Place
On the first day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, pee-pee under my tree
On the second day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the third day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the fourth day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, five gnawing rings... four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the sixth day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, six tails a wagging, five gnawing rings...four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, seven toys a singing, six tails a wagging, five gnawing rings...four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, eight days of milking, seven toys a singing, six tails a wagging, five gnawing rings...four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the ninth day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, nine walks of prancing, eight days of milking, seven toys a singing, six tails a wagging, five gnawing rings...four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the tenth day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, ten bones he's keeping, nine walks of prancing, eight days of milking, seven toys a singing, six tails a wagging, five gnawing rings...four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, eleven barks of griping, ten bones he's keeping, nine walks of prancing, eight days of milking, seven toys a singing, six tails a wagging, five gnawing rings...four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my doggie brought to me, twelve new puppies coming, eleven barks of griping, ten bones he's keeping, nine walks of prancing, eight days of milking, seven toys a singing, six tails a wagging, five gnawing rings...four stinky turds, three bone ends, two licks of love and pee-pee under my tree
Autumn leaves and melancholy
The city park an Oasis for a lovers stroll
As the cold nights invade the city lights
Park benches, the hotels for the homeless
A vagrant inebriated man, withered
Drunk and destitute, no home to go
He lies listless, snoring on the park bench
Ragged clothes and a tattered life
Wake UP Wake UP
Shoved by the Police in the dead of night
You must move on old man
Or we shall issue you a court summons
Ah but where shall I go? he boldly demands
This is of no concern of ours old drunk
You must vacate this park now
We have no time for old drunk fools
The old man asks, and who pray tell are you?
I am the police, and your nightmare, if you don’t vacate now
Oh Police? Not officers of the peace? Here to serve and protect?
And who pray tell are you serving and protecting tonight?
Do not talk back old man
Worse things than a summons may befall upon you
Now move on you stinky drunk
As the story goes, the old man moved on, drunk and broken
The next day, no better for the wear
The old man rose, to begin another beggar’s day
Voices inside tormented him
Wounds from long ago
Today, he proclaimed time to collect his just rewards
His teeth ached, his belly hurt
He bought a gun, from the toy store
All he could afford
Off he went to the City Bank
Time for a withdrawal
Hand me all your cash he demanded
The teller whispered
Old man we all know you
You can not think to get away?
Why you barely stumbled your way in here
I doubt you can make it to your getaway bus?
- concern and compassion in her voice
He replied all proud
None the less hand me your cash
My plan is sound, you pretty lass
Fear not I mean no harm to you sweetie
At the door, those very same Police
Yelled drop your weapon
And so he did
As they pushed him violently to the ground
Sitting in the back seat, he smiled
Finally justice will be served
The Officer scolded him
You drunk, you will be locked away now you scum
40 years before, the irony of life was to be painted
The old drunk saved the life of a fellow soldier
Who had a son, whom became a police officer
Irony is the sadness that shall sink many a heavy heart
Now the old man, with 10 years in prison
Finally his country paid his dues
This old war vet, got his 3 square meals
His teeth all fixed and healthcare for an ailing heart
God bless those who truly serve and protect
Disclaimer- This
piece doesn't depict
any true events, nor
does it describe my
current state of
mind. It is what it
is, creativity at its
finest. Enjoy (or
not).
I lay in bed and look
up at the ceiling
late at night, the
same as many
nights before, but
sumthin just aint
right,
I'm fighting major
drowsiness and yes
I'm kinda shook, I
hope it doesn't hurt
those 40 sleeping
pills I took.
I'm tired of the life
I'm living cause it's
all a joke, I try and
mask my misery
with alcohol and
smoke,
the pain is cause
for laughter even
though it badly
hurts, I talk and
badly slur I guess
it's gone from bad
to worse.
I think about my
daughter growing up
without me here, I'm
sorry Stinky Faces,
Daddy's thinking
thoughts through
tears,
emotions mixed
with medicine, my
thinking's not too
clear, I'll miss the
coming years in
which to chase
away your fears.
It shouldn't have
ever come to this, it
really isn't fair, I
should've took
assistance but my
pride just didn't care,
the weight's
become too
burdensome for
mind and soul to
bear, I get up, try to
walk and fall face
first into a chair.
I'm on the floor and
leaking from the
gash above my eye,
commercials on the
TV say to kiss it all
goodbye,
but it's not really
saying that, it's all
inside my mind, so
funny what you hear
when on the verge
of time to die.
I'm thinkin on my
peoples and I'll
surely miss them
so, there's Chosen,
Nikki, Lady Ice, D.
Sweets plus Lou
and Stone,
the E.P.I.C. Fam,
my homie Rich,
bright lights just
make me stare, it
feels like
something's
grabbing at me,
baby take me there.
My thoughts soon
turn to Wifey and
the pain that she'll
endure, to fix
whatever ails me
God I wish she had
the cure,
I'm happy I won't
live to see the hurt
that's in her eyes,
to know I caused
this for my baby, I
deserve to die.
The blood loss
leave me
motionless, the pills
have hit their stride,
with visions of the
park I rode my bike
in all those times,
so long ago when I
was young but
times have rolled on
by, my final thought
is of my child and
then I close my
eyes,
goodbye.
And I can just see him there by the wind chimes chiming their morning song smiling at us
outside along with the orange juice and apple, and apple butter set up beside the grits
and raisin toast in the toaster. Maple syrup ready for heating in the microwave with many
funny, grand events circumstances questions of the day already being proposed to you in
all seriousness.
Running up and down the spine and belly really wrestling with your patience. Answered
swiftly with light chuckling laughter. As I think wisely and answer saying "as you and I
are set to bed at night, we all too need God's peace in the morning". Stomping on the
floor with a rugged click clack clack... saying "overt, wisdom is not patient to fond
reflection of itself alone. So is the way of the chopstick. Lying there so defined ... .
Hands sick. Hear their plea. They
cry mercy, use me ... !"
Remembering when she was younger their Mothers' Mother our other kitten Precious of
memory's past yes her kittens many antics with my Wife and children and me.
As one of Blue Jeans our oldest Daughters' new Mother Kitten, or I should say Cat now,
with her first little litter of kitten, as we found her pregnant now some time ago and now
her three, no two kittens -- the one little fuzzball I forget her name. They both jumped
me this morning.
One climbing up "my spine right now" one my shoulder scooting down my belly on to my knee
as I stick it out so it can jump onto my broken down dark brown leather Lazy Boy flip back
Daddy chair as I'm leaning myself back, with one hand for the other. As I change their
bowls so they may have food and water. As they play with one another over who in the
process gets my big toe. They haven't figured quite yet it being quite stinky. There being
two, connected to me there is another protruding shell toy of a fleshy
distraction for both of them.
Like the simple spontaneity of my little one, jawing away on a pickle slurping it down
wiping his mouth on my coat shirt pocket, as with a big grunt the youngster looks at me,
then cuts a wet one in its diaper, just as I'm wanting to go to the restroom myself, and
reaching, needing, a paper towel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBfjU3_XOaA
DINOSAURS
Let me take out my thesaurus
And talk about them stinky dinosaurs
I have my own theory on the Mesozoic Era,
First I'll share my reason on the Continental Drift
Who's to blame for the disconnection of our jagged sierra?
It could've been the Jurassic reptiles that caused the world to split!
My favorite meat eater is the ferocious Allosaurus
Sharp claws- sharp teeth,
terrorizing all the dinos walking on all fours.
Sneaking up while they eat and gaze the veggie heath.
Striping away chunks & chunks of meat!!!
A prehistoric predator eating his way to the top.
Preying on other dinos as if they where all pork chop.
I also like the silly Velociraptors!
These carnivores gathered and hunt in packs.
Should I call these wanna be birds 'gangsters'?
Since they had each others backs!
I also like that funny looking pea brain Stegosaurus
Look how his tiny little head is attached to that gigantic body.
I bet that dino was the dumbest of all dinosaurs
Once again imagine an 80 foot long Diplodocus,
or, a 90 foot long Apatosaurus- also known as the Brontosaurs.
Along with the largest known 45 foot tall Brachiosaurus.
Can you imagine a herd of these dinos over 40 feet tall.
Leaving a path of destruction like a tornado.
Turning the earth upright, tumbling the ground with one fall
Flying high in that sky, swooping down to the seas.
In the Pteranodon eyes, every thing looked like Pease.
Don't think I forgot about Mr.. T.Rex
How funny he looks with them little claw like hands,,
A nightmare in his own neighbor hood,
A scavenger, prowling to see what he could eat next
What a big O' bully that Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Lets not forget about the 3 horn Triceratop.
I wonder how long it took Mr.T.Rex to bring Sara to a drop
Last but not least
I like the little egg thieves
Hiding and kidnapping all them babies,
before they hatched, into their herds like armies.
Now that could be a theory to the real Dinosaurs Evolution.
One can't really say why the dinosaurs went away
Maybe the climate, or a star explosion leaking out radiation.
Scientist don't know why dinosaurs had an expiration!
I have a crazy thought!
Maybe all them egg eaters ate the dinosaurs into extinction.
By:P.D.
Laundering wealthy clothes and other valuables,
baptizing moments and grand white-washed events,
scrubbing dissonant deposits
into healthy places and times,
laundering life with transcendent love.
When we're done sitting in solidarity with Earth's laundry,
it's probably time to start over,
or succumb to our own stinky mess of pseudo-wealth
Therapeutically baptizing body-minds toward resilient health
may require soaking in resonant eco/ego co-awareness,
eco-herent
eco-operative
ecompassioning co-identity.
Clean chi-body clothes cover
and uncover,
discover,
recover would be co-redeemers of healthy mental wealth
rediscovering spiritually naturing systems.
Corporate-sponsored competitive detergents
of urgent LeftHemisphere enculturation
have blinded too many to a more polycultural Received Tradition:
human nature evolved through interdependent mentorships
of caregiving and nurturance and cooperation
between
within
among
inclusive of all Earth's tumbling Tribes
learning natural relationships
in environmental systems
stabilizing through mutual solidarity,
like air with fire,
soil with water.
Too often Left-Brain Dominance
has confused our designer attire and attitudes
facilitator scrubbing functions
mutual mentoring
co-redemptive economic EcoLogical Co-Operative Vocations
with those we have labeled
"Sole Proprietor"
and "Owner" of Nature's Laundry.
These labels tend to come off
during a healthy multicultural stone-washed thrashing
of decompositional analysis.
EgoCentrism,
like traumatic AnthroCentrism,
and its oppressor cousin, RacialElitism,
and MonoCultural SurfaceCleaned Tolerance
fail to wash well
for achieving long-term EcoCentric
PolyCultural
Health-Wealth Optimization Outcomes.
HumanHubris confuses ourselves,
scrubbing down our Beloved EarthHost
as if She were a monopolistically-intended Flea,
resulting in great misfortune
especially for Earth's future grandchildren
drowning in over-populated toxic pain in the everywhere.
They could have been our much Beloved Community,
if we would regenerate this drying out revolution,
permaculturally washing
with Earth's Nature-Balancing
decompositional soap
of ecological intelligence.
Woke is New Slur
“I guess, woke is nothing but a new slur against people like me, right? Let me tell you, friend. Like Ariel, I want black people to be where they will be accepted. I want us to be part of the world. A world that accepts our blackness. A world where we could walk free without police brutality getting our way. A world where we could wear our natural hair, loud and proud. Locs, braids, afros, adding beads and colors? You name it. I want to be where happiness, love, peace, and hope reigns in our black lives. We’re not political objects. We’re just humans. Humans with a black skin that will never come off. We just want to be happy. Have a good family, celebrate our culture, and have more equal opportunities. Is that too much to ask? I’m asking you, friend. Is that too much to ask? Like Ariel, she’s willing to give up her voice to go to that world where she dreams of. Ask the civil rights leaders, who gave up their bodies to the society of anti-blackness, to get beaten, arrested, and risk their houses on fire, just to get their community to be part of the world they dreamed of. Let me tell you, friend. Am I too woke for you? Am I too pitiful for you? If that’s the case, then call me Ursula. Yeah, call me Ursula. Because I’m calling you a poor unfortunate soul. So unfortunate that you can’t even see your ignorance. So, unfortunate that you’re too blind with your bigotry. You have a choice, my dear. Go ahead and make a choice. A choice to hate? Or a choice to love? You know what I want? I want to kiss the land. A land of freedom. A land of peace and the land of hope. You can come with me to get there but here’s a new deal. You get rid of the negative energy of the word, woke. Woke is for positive energy, agree? Woke is not a slur. Woke is awareness of my blackness. Woke is for the black voicelesses, sick of being beaten and now ready to stand for…What’s that word, again? Oh, liberty and justice. Once you get rid of that stinky aura, then, you can come with me. I don’t know when and I don’t know how. But, I know that someday. Just watch and see. That someday, my people and I will be part of that world. Now, are you with me? Let’s ease on down the road.”
Richard clerihewed me yesterday
Why the nerve, I should have got him first I say
Then I laugh still wondering if clerihewed is a word
Realizing that many conventions in our language are up surd
The Clown of Clerihews, what a moniker Moe would say
I could probably write a lot of these everyday
The ballade though, not a form for a dummy
If I can convince ForDummies publishing, surely I'll make money
I'm butchering the king's English Curly would say
As a child I'd watch three stooges reruns everyday
Yes at that time Curly was my favorite of the three
A poem with nyuk, nyuk nyuk, is a sight to see
I'm not sure what Larry would add
Being the only of the original four from a different dad
A musician yes, a great violinist they say
Healy said he pay him $90 a week and extra $10 to throw that fiddle away
What about Shemp can't forget the other brother
Yes Shemp, Moe, and Curly had the same mother
In the latter years I've grown to like him as well
He was actually one of the original two, or so they tell
Joe Besser, hah, definitely the lame duck
Being Jewish, I'm sure the other three would call him a smuck
Some of his appearances I have to tolerate
I'm a fan of the other two with him, so I can't hate
One more for Stinky Davis, as he was called on Albert and Costello
A role he played, definitely not the role of a hero
They all said he wouldn't take a pie in the face
Did he not know the other 40 years of stooges history, what a disgrace
I purposely left Joe DeRita or Curly Joe
He had two stints with The Stooges I know
Was the one short film Snow White and
I have him below Joe Besser, that can't be grand
I guess ThePhilosopher, now lower shouldn't judge
In the 50's he didn't even live a nudge
I was born quiet a while later
Ok I admit it, of Joe I'm a hater
Even having fun in my hate of Joe Besser lol. He had a very extensive acting career, and there was a reason he was allowed to be there without taking pies in the face. He was actually acting out his own character that he developed over his comedy career, so that's kind of impressive. After posting had to add in Joe DeRita, or Curly Joe, lest you thought I forgot his important roles lol
Santa arrived on our street yesterday
spewing considerable exhaust
while riding atop a parade of firetrucks and vans,
floodlit like a nativity display at night,
full sirens and blaring Christmas carols
competing for my Fetal Alcohol daughter's rapt attention.
Santa rolls at stately parade pace,
while ever more impatiently
my troubled daughter jumps and eagerly awaits to pounce.
For me,
much too soon
Santa spots her leaning out our screen door,
disembarks with great royal dignitary pace
to walk the long quest for prey
on our front porch.
As I feared,
after an unconvincing HoHoHo?,
without waiting for introductions,
Santa goes straight to his task at hand:
What do you want for Christmas, little girl?
I don't know
Haven't thought about it.
I'm sure it's not a stinky and loud Santa parade.
Anyway, I'm still working on what I'm giving for Christmas.
That's awesome.
I don't hear a lot of that.
It's not awesome!
It's complicated!
My dad said I should only give gifts that by giving them
I will also receive more gifts.
I'm not sure I have any gifts like that.
Last year you asked for an American Girl doll.
Yes, but this year I'm working on giving American Princess me,
instead of settling for your plastic dolls.
Won't you need costuming and make-up
to become the All American princess?
You would think so,
but my dad says they don't meet his gift-it-forward
to receive back rule.
So what do you think you're going to get,
or give,
or both, I guess?
although Santa's feeling confused about co-redemptive gifts,
and I do still have far to go.
And you left your truck idling.
I'm leaning toward kindness,
'cause princesses are always kind,
but my dad is asking for greater wisdom,
which is something he actually does need.
And I know you don't have any to offer
or you wouldn't begin and end Christmas
by asking people what they want,
instead of asking us what we have to give
that might make life feel a little less snarky
come New Year's Day.
Santa returned to his royal firetruck
somewhat faster than he had arrived
on my wise American princess daughter's front porch.