Suicide -Goodbye-
Disclaimer- This
piece doesn't depict
any true events, nor
does it describe my
current state of
mind. It is what it
is, creativity at its
finest. Enjoy (or
not).
I lay in bed and look
up at the ceiling
late at night, the
same as many
nights before, but
sumthin just aint
right,
I'm fighting major
drowsiness and yes
I'm kinda shook, I
hope it doesn't hurt
those 40 sleeping
pills I took.
I'm tired of the life
I'm living cause it's
all a joke, I try and
mask my misery
with alcohol and
smoke,
the pain is cause
for laughter even
though it badly
hurts, I talk and
badly slur I guess
it's gone from bad
to worse.
I think about my
daughter growing up
without me here, I'm
sorry Stinky Faces,
Daddy's thinking
thoughts through
tears,
emotions mixed
with medicine, my
thinking's not too
clear, I'll miss the
coming years in
which to chase
away your fears.
It shouldn't have
ever come to this, it
really isn't fair, I
should've took
assistance but my
pride just didn't care,
the weight's
become too
burdensome for
mind and soul to
bear, I get up, try to
walk and fall face
first into a chair.
I'm on the floor and
leaking from the
gash above my eye,
commercials on the
TV say to kiss it all
goodbye,
but it's not really
saying that, it's all
inside my mind, so
funny what you hear
when on the verge
of time to die.
I'm thinkin on my
peoples and I'll
surely miss them
so, there's Chosen,
Nikki, Lady Ice, D.
Sweets plus Lou
and Stone,
the E.P.I.C. Fam,
my homie Rich,
bright lights just
make me stare, it
feels like
something's
grabbing at me,
baby take me there.
My thoughts soon
turn to Wifey and
the pain that she'll
endure, to fix
whatever ails me
God I wish she had
the cure,
I'm happy I won't
live to see the hurt
that's in her eyes,
to know I caused
this for my baby, I
deserve to die.
The blood loss
leave me
motionless, the pills
have hit their stride,
with visions of the
park I rode my bike
in all those times,
so long ago when I
was young but
times have rolled on
by, my final thought
is of my child and
then I close my
eyes,
goodbye.
Copyright © James Lewis | Year Posted 2011
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