Long Sourpuss Poems

She looks like a Mede,
talks like a Persian
Got Democrat soft bray skin,
but underneath is
hard tusk tongue Republican

Girl Pharaoh-day
loves to zombie talk Friday,
while sleepwalk listening on Monday

Talking pretty contentious,
looking glossy pretentious

Her Primary job 
is to give...

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Hunamity and Our Sanity

Not only some but all the time
Committing sin sure is a crime
That has been against humanity
And along with all of our sanity;
Never ever sinning is so sublime.

James Thesarious Hilarious Philosopher Horn
Retired and...

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Dear humans,

I am an octopus and I’m unhappy with how you humans think you’re so great.
You might say I have a bone to pick with you…
which would be true if I weren’t an invertebrate.

I want...

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https://www.youtube.com/edit?video_id=M1uhJSVuz_A

School bashings in 1951
Oh I went to school in fifty one
Like every six year old should
I did't know what was in store
A flogging for my good?

Bushy got a sandwich from another kid at school
He handed...

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Amidst Swirling Eddies Of Fate...

Negligible power prevails
no matter one jock or nerd
feverishly hollars, fumes
decries, berates... absurd

fickle finger (middle phalange
doubling up as
flipping the bird),
unlikely the powers

that be heard
such lament, would not forfeit
issuing the last juicy,
meaty and...

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Why would I wanna be lemon or lime?
When I could be lemon marang
It might feel good in my haven sublime
But there’s more left to do than just hang
The bumps and wrinkles of my skin
Reminds of...

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"Catch that cloud with an upturned eye,"
Said the spy with the sourpuss, sober cry,
When or whether, the weather of feathers fly high,
What are we but watchers of the sighing fly?
Whose wings chop winds with whirling...

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I'm so doggone ugly,
I look like a faded roach;
If I were a pile of roadkill,
The buzzards wouldn't approach!

Oh sweet mirror on the wall,
Why stab me in the back?
You tell me that I'm beautiful,
Then fall to...

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There was a big hooray in Kind-ville one day.
For a kitten was found, a serious light gray.
The premonition had come true, and in the best kind of way.
An animal with a pink nose was here,...

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Life is about having the right attitude.
Don't be known as one with platitude.
Someone who is a habitual whiner, 
is not a good companion at a diner.

Life is always a much happier place
if you don't slap...

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Santa’s sleigh turned magical at midnight on the twenty-eighth.
The elves were amazed. One yelled out “Isn’t this great?”
Not sure yet, said a peppermint stick named Sourpuss Tate.
Where is the sleigh going, and does it have...

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Sourpuss People

Sourpuss people are the opposite of sweet,
And can turn a sunny day into mincemeat.
Their smiles are forced and bitterly insincere,
Revealing no sense of humour or good cheer.
They sneer and wink and chatter behind your...

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Enigma and Stigma

Could your cat really be quite cantankerous?
Or declared a sourpuss which was unanimous;
For what, heaven knows, has a disposition
Designed for my destitute aged condition.

For cat, I personally have a premonition
God gave him to...

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MISANTHROPE
For Mel, my wordsmith

I miss you my misanthropos
My groucho cynic hermit
But I’m glad you left my life
For now I love a man called Phil
And he loves all that you abhor
Mankind, marriage, me
My kind-hearted Philanthropos
Who I...

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another sourpuss 


he drank her tangy wine
she broke his bread
together they dined
as they fed
the river of love
from their wells
spouted no doves
time will not tell
two black bears tearing each others fur out
friends at one time, now...

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Remember when each of the tastes
bitter, sweet, sour, salty and umani,
had their own special place on your tongue?
When you could lick and flick a tongue tip
to savor one by one, 
each titillating and tantalizing tidbit,
and...

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What's that on the shoreline run, all amok
"Is that a beaver?"Or
incredibly furry duck?"
Ponder they did Koala and Roo
About a stranger, that came into view
We must look closer said the two friends
As they drew near, mud...

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Oh winter has come today
and Ole Santa has greased up his sleigh
he no buffoon so he's packed a stuffed loon
and long john with a dreidel bouquet.

He not going to Canada cause
Chris A. writ a sourpuss...

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The elephant was schmanzy and fancy.
We liked her so well, we named her Nancy.
She liked to eat pancakes floating in jam.
Raspberry and strawberry with a sliver of ham.

We thought it was hilarious when she gobbled...

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Not Afraid To Have Fun

By Elton Camp

Although he’s an old man with money,
This man enjoys life and acting funny
You can tell by his delighted smile
He hasn’t forgotten the joys of a child

In his mansion, he...

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when brain is tiny
he always was whiny
had a big heine 

when on a campus
at times was a sourpuss
saw grass from the pampas

when saw grass we saw 
which they had cut with a saw
shall be sent...

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