Fatal Beauty

I'm so doggone ugly,
I look like a faded roach;
If I were a pile of roadkill,
The buzzards wouldn't approach!

Oh sweet mirror on the wall,
Why stab me in the back?
You tell me that I'm beautiful,
Then fall to the floor and crack!

I went to a local photographer,
Here's something you won't believe,
He took one look at this ugly mug,
And paid me just to leave!

I can't go to the chicken coop,
To gather a single egg;
Those hens won't let me enter,
Unless I grovel and beg!

I never committed a crime,
Though my picture's on the wall;
Ugliness is a criminal act,
It's certainly against the law!

A cop pulled me over,
I asked what I did wrong;
He took one look at this sourpuss,
And said..."Nuthin', please go home!"

When I walk by flower beds,
The petals begin to wilt;
Every time I play pinball,
The game automatically tilts!

I married an ugly woman,
Someone uglier than me;
We bought ourselves an ugly dog,
Now we're as happy as can be!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012



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Date: 8/24/2013 4:29:00 PM
Very humorous, indeed! I loved it, and my only critique is that I don't think stanza 4 really fits and the last two lines in stanza 7 also don't seem to relate. Other than that, a very enjoyable read! :)
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Date: 7/23/2013 7:00:00 AM
Ha ha, cute
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Date: 7/19/2013 3:37:00 AM
Hehehehe how refreshing and totally awesome - you are definitely going into my favs list.....really enjoying your poetry alot....Shaz
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Date: 6/11/2012 5:56:00 AM
This is great... I really enjoyed it. Nice to get such a blessing in such a beautiful monday afternoon.
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Date: 1/15/2012 9:22:00 AM
This makes me feel better. When I was a kid, they used to rub me with steak gravy, so the dog would play with me. I remember running down the street with the trash. I asked the garbage man if I was too late and he said no, jump in. Always fun to read your work. Vince
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Date: 1/13/2012 7:39:00 PM
Wonderful, wonderful, blessings lol, Brenda : )
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Date: 1/12/2012 5:54:00 PM
i smiled throught the whole thing. i'm gonna make a copy. JOHN HENRY LOVING III
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Date: 1/12/2012 10:01:00 AM
This is so funny! Good job. Thanks for reading my poems and for your encouraging comments. Love, Kim
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Toran Avatar
Milton Toran
Date: 1/12/2012 5:32:00 PM
Thanks and it's a pleasure to read your poetry! God bless U!...Milt
Date: 1/11/2012 9:47:00 PM
Milton my good man... In a word, Outstanding. Your Ugly Ass poem just made my evening. Thanks for posting and keep up the good work.
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Toran Avatar
Milton Toran
Date: 1/12/2012 5:29:00 PM
Thanks and God bless U!...Milt
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