Long Santa claus Poems
Long Santa claus Poems. Below are the most popular long Santa claus by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Santa claus poems by poem length and keyword.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and there sat the Grouch,
waiting for Santa and his present filled pouch.
I'm sure that all of you have heard of the Grinch,
but the Grouch is far worse, at least by one inch.
That vile and distasteful sixty-six year old man
had been writing poems which he pitched in a can.
To tell you the truth, I don't think you've met a
man with a more implacable vendetta.
His heart was cold as a hard frozen icicle.
As a kid, Santa never brought him a bicycle.
So, when the fat fella came down through the chute,
the Grouch was there waiting to lodge his dispute.
The grumpy man challenged St. Nick to twelve rounds,
and the two commenced boxing, no holds out of bounds.
The two of them danced, and they bobbed, and they weaved.
If it wasn't true, it could not be believed.
I must say, it was an incredible fight.
There were jabs, upper cuts, a left hook and a right,
but in the twelfth round, to the sound of a crunch,
Santa connected with a strong roundhouse punch.
The Grouch smiled as he looked up from the ground,
and he saw little birds, heard a sweet tweeting sound.
He saw so many things that anyone would like,
and he saw a shining candy-apple red bike.
From that day on, he was happy as a joker.
He even invited Santa Claus to play poker.
I'm happy to say, he's no longer the Grouch,
and the townsfolk, with feeling, say, "he's no slouch."
No one had seen Rudolf for weeks
He was wanted via loudspeakers and flyers
"This is the moment where everything changes", Santa Claus said
Christmas Eve was approaching, there was nothing more to do
It came news from the University Hospital of Northern Norway
Poor Rudolf, lay for three weeks with a broken leg
Swelling and loss of movement - it was just hopeless
The plaster cast was heavy - he couldn't fly home
Rudolf was sent home by air ambulance, in a comfortable bed
On Christmas Eve he sat in the sleigh together with Santa Claus
Even with a broken leg he was able to overcome the obstacle
Rudolf's red nose has become a symbol of Christmas for everyone
An offering from my slush-pile in lieu
of anything new
Santa’s sleigh crash landed in the jungle
He got caught in the branches of a tree
He had a wound that could be turning fungal
And sought help from a passing chimpanzee
The chimpanzee was friends with a gorilla
Who said, “You don’t belong up in this tree.”
And Santa said, “Now look, I’m not Godzilla,
So will you or the chimpanzee help me?”
The chimpanzee said, “Ooh-ooh, aah-aah, ooh.”
So Santa bellowed loudly, “Ho Ho Ho!”
The gorilla slapped his hand across his forehead,
“If you’re both talking nonsense I shall go.”
So Santa built a grotto in the jungle
He taught some marmosets to work as elves
A job that Santa hoped they wouldn’t bungle
And soon they would be putting toys on shelves
But then he pulled his sleigh with lions as reindeer
That was an error (soon he’d have the proof)
Although we don’t get snow or freezing rain here
Those lions and the sleigh fell off the roof
When Santa hit the ground his head was foggy
He yelled, “You lions are a bunch of peasants
Each one of you is just a clumsy moggy
So dumb you can’t deliver children’s presents.”
Their Christmas lunch so juicy that it squelched
The lions ate their fill then licked their paws
One lion looked embarrassed when he belched
And then said, “Oops, we’ve eaten Santa Claus!”
Santa Claus took from the NON-for Profit
" people who wish to marry fund"
to support his gift giving campgain.
Santa who doesn't eat Venision
heard that the "rights of Modern Men"
were sponsoring a Four Meat supper
to raise money for the
" People who wish to marry fund"
he asked one question, " are they serving Venision?"
the fella said yeah, and taters and yams, and those
sweet, sweet taters. " Oh yeah said Santa,
them po' (Bleeps) gonna learn. "Bife for the We-if"
"not sear the deer". "Things their mothers have done, don't they
know better" " "They have a treasurer who drinks don't they"
"the fella said they sure do boss!" "they sure do!" Santa told him
that summa (beep) is gonna look foolish when
he finds the gift I'm leaving him"
then he got on his sleigh and flow away.
when he returned,(two days later)
he just smiled and said "Christmas is saved!"
and everyone went back to work cheering for Ole Santa!
When asked, "what did you leave the fella for Christmas?"
He told him, " I left the (beep) absolutely nothing"
"I farted in his face when I walked by him sleeping"
Where fatso's by the fireplace
His wicked fingers teasing
A velvet suit shows ashes on
for yuling peoples pleasing
When awnings on a window top
reveal a shadow stalking
And presence through a livingroom
embark on children's stockings
That strolling down a corridor
will bring a puppy lapping
When Santa bends to pat him down
and calm him from his yapping
And move along to lend his toys
to all good girls and boys
Unloading what are gifts to bring
for promise and for joys
That every light we go to be
are Santa's for the cause
When Christmas Day means gifts to be
an evening with the Claus
Santa Claus, make this the best Christmas yet.
Could you bring me a Chevrolet Corvette?
I need a six-speed with a powerful V-8.
A leather interior and BOSE CD stereo will be great.
It does not matter if it has red, white, or blue paint.
I have not been anything less than a saint.
I have treated everyone I know with kindness.
This year, I did not even cheat the IRS!
I know you will not get it down my chimney.
There is no need to put it under the tree.
You do not have to wrap it for Christmas Day.
Just leave it parked in my garage driveway.
That morning, I want to zoom it down the highway.
With such a machine, I will really be cooking.
I just hope the patrol cars will not be looking.
Santa, I have just one more modest plea:
Could you pay the first year’s insurance for me?
The premiums are outrageous here in New Jersey.
It was the night before Christmas in winter fairy land
Where elves were busy giving Santa Claus a hand
Making all the toys for boys and girls
As snowflakes danced in pirouettes and swirls
Frosty the snowman was dancing as well
To the wonderful sounds of those jingle bells
Then Santa loaded his sled to destinations anew
Sleigh bells ringing, as away he flew
Children were helping with Christmas tree trimming
With nervous anticipation they all were brimming
Waiting for toys that Santa was bringing
And carolers outside were happily singing
They drifted off to sleep, and their dreams began
But were awakened by the laughter of a jolly old man
Then they heard him shout, much to their delight
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
Santa’s reindeer held a pre-Christmas party
they all had such fun on their special day
their Xmas dinner was so big and hearty
they were too tired to pull Santa’s sleigh
Rudolph had been drinking the sherry
(it’s no wonder his nose is bright red)
Other reindeer described him as merry
and he would not get out of his bed
Santa Claus was extremely unhappy
When his elves dragged Rudolph out of bed
He was sorry, Santa didn’t get snappy
But this is what Santa Claus said ...
‘You’ve all over indulged at your dinner
let’s hold your party much later next year
You’ve got a year to lose weight and get thinner
Now let’s get busy and bring Christmas cheer’
Poor Rudolph drank gallons of water
he got sober and Santa's really happy
They delivered the gifts as they ought’a
but when rain fell it was Rudolph's wee-wee!
Christmas Cheer Poetry Contest
12/4/18
COAL-FILLED BOOTS OF SANTA CLAUS
Old Santa rose from in his bed, a deeply winter snooze
His bare feet touched the freezing floor, he called out for his shoes
An elf, her name was Kimberly came running to his side
“Yes sir” she answered with a laugh, one that she could not hide
She set the boots down on the floor by Santa’s frozen feet
Then looked out towards the vestibule to plan her quick retreat
When Santa placed his feet inside, he let out with a howl
Then shouted out to Kimberly, “You get in here right now!”
“Who put this coal inside my boots?” Kim’s silence she now broke
“Oh Boss, no need to be so mad, t’was just an elfin joke.”
Well Santa, being who he was now wore a happy smile
He said,” Oh Kim I am not mad.” They laughed a little while
“But now it’s time to get to work, the holidays are near
Though one last thing before we go, I’ll make this very clear
If one more time you pull this prank, get ready, here’s the twist
The elfin name of Kimberly, will top the naughty list.”
11/15/18
Written for the COOL WRITES AND IMAGINATION Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Kim Rodrigues
THE POSTERITY OF RUDOLPH
‘Twas the night before Christmas and the reindeers played tricks.
The twinkling eyes of the posterity of Rudolph in a riotous mix.
There was the mooning of Santa Claus, his britches on the North Pole.
The elvish-boots tied together and stuffed with chalky bits of coal.
Children’s toys were strewn about the snow, having been blown
by giant straws and how those cookie crumbles must have flown.
Those uproarious Rudolph’s progenies doubled over with ice cold tears.
Meanwhile Santa’s in a snit, not at all jolly nor filled with holiday cheer.
Red noses, beeping and blaring, poking out, jumping, scaring
on this Winter-white night when the sled should be ready and raring
to leap to each home, slide down chimneys or their substitute holes
and put smiles on cherubic faces but for naughty reindeer out of control!
11/26/2018
The Night Before Poetry Contest/Joseph May