Long Overpriced Poems
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When we were young and pregnant we were poor.
My husband had three jobs, and I was trying to conserve money.
He wanted me to buy some maternity clothes from a store.
I refused. Store-bought clothes are too expensive!
He insisted, but the clothes seemed way overpriced.
We went to a maternity shop and I was horrified at the prices.
He picked out some things and begged me to try them on.
I reluctantly bought two whole outfits, feeling guilty.
About two weeks later the shop lady called us.
“Congratulations!” She said. “You won the drawing.”
I vaguely remembered her begging me to enter the drawing.
I had won a baby bath; I thanked her and said I would come pick it up.
“Oh, honey, you cannot pick it up,” she told me.
“You have won a top-of-the-line brand new maple baby bed; a crib.”
I thought she had said “baby bath.” I was stunned.
Knowing now why she insisted I enter the drawing.
This was almost fifty years ago, and I have never forgotten this kindness.
Eddie says,
In Deutschland, school is free, a total score!
In Italy, the table is mighty light!
But here, the debt reaches astounding heights
And leaves us face-down on the floor!
This student debt is such a massive chore.
Online certificates? Yeah, they're alright.
College, for most learners is overpriced.
Because the Ivy League's a big debt score.
We need some healthcare for every old soul,
Not med bills that're totally out of whack!
It's bogus how they strip us of control.
The student debt system is busted crap.
Let's strive to use reason to reach our goal,
With education and health on fast track!
By many aliases they're known:
Crawfish, crawdads, mudbugs, yabbies.
They abound in brooks, and streams, and swamps,
As well as roadside ditches and rice paddies.
Their astacology has shown
They prey like scavengers and mobsters,
While some, more taxonomically aloof,
Try hard to pass as mountain lobsters.
Throughout the world as food they're meant,
Both from the wild and from the grocer,
But not as a substitute for meat at Lent
Because they're not considered kosher.
And so the cunning, craven crayfish,
The ones that didn't get away,
End up in boils, or bisques, or soups,
If not served up as étouffés
In swanky overpriced cafés.
insane, lovely, loony, lonely, lonesome, malodorous mean old rotten, mothering, nasty, narcotic, never whatever, never meh, never cold, not approved by the CIA, not approved by DHS, not approved for human consumption by the FDA, not your daddy’s sissified corporate cup of coffee, NOT DECAFE coffee, not your Denny’s truck driver weak as brown water cup of fake coffee, not your establishment friendly cup of coffee, Not your FBI coffee, Not FAKE Herbal coffee substitute, but a real cup of coffee, not your farmer brothers dinner crap, not made in America for Americans, not safe for work, not your Starbucks average expensive overpriced crappy corporate chain cup of coffee, Not pretentious, Not White House approved, not State Department safe, nuclear, Not Patriotic, operatic, Peets’s coffee approved,
Soulful as a summer’s night in MOTOWN- James Brown approved, TOP approved, Berkeley approved, the coffee that Jimmy Hendrix drank before he died, the coffee that Elvis drank on his last breakfast, the coffee that Barry White crooned as he drank his cup of coffee – and the coffee that made the white boy play stand up and play that funky music, the coffee that made Jonny B Goode play his guitar, and made Jonny bet the devil his soul after he drank his morning cup of righteous coffee and the coffee that make the Rolling Stones Rock and Roll, the coffee your mother warned you against drinking, the coffee that Napoleon drank when he became the Emperor of all Europe, the Coffee that Beethoven drank when he wrote the Ninth symphony, the coffee that Mozart drank as he wrote his last symphony, the coffee that Lincoln drank before he was killed, the Hemingway drank before he killed himself, the coffee that started the 60’s, and ended the 20th century,
An angel in a Christmas play
Learning about Jesus this way
People have become so earthy
Lord have mercy
Just place an X to blot out Christ
And sell merchandise overpriced
Some have no respect for the clergy
Lord have mercy
Let us once again remember
All the month of December
What Christmas means and be thirsty
For God's mercy
If America doesn't change soon
And come to God_it will be hewn
Burned_ for we are so unworthy
Lord have mercy
Remember the angel Gabriel
Again and teach your children well
God will look and find some worthy
Lord have mercy
Sponsor: Cyndi MacMillian
Contest: Season Of Lights, Delight
Theme : Christmas
The Real Housewives
Sorry
Reality T.V Housewives
What's that all about
Happy Wife
Happy life
Jesus Christ
Thank God for Nannies
And Cleaner's
And Make up Artist's
Imagine any of these
Without the 3 R's to fall back upon
Rich's
Rrendering
Rhinoplastey
And a cheating Husband
All of the diamonds and all the plastic surgeons
Can't polish a turd
Even if it's covered in gold
Mutton dressed as lamb
Doesn't make a housewife
Real housewives are loved not built
Are Mother's
Not Reality Consumerist martyrs
Dressed in overpriced garters
With fake teeth
Fake smile's
Fake Boobs
And even faker marriages
With bleached and trimmed undercarriages
Slam
Sham
Film flam
Acting like there **** don't stink
Because they are so full of botox
They can't even blink
Can only be watched with the aid of a stiff drink
The mind boggles
How low can we go
Watch the show
For Terry Flood,* since you insist,
Here, in rhyme’s my shopping list:
Orange juice and Starbuck’s (iced,
Even though it’s overpriced),
Bagels, Swiss and muenster cheese,
Whitefish salad, frozen peas,
Broccoli and salad greens,
Carrots, berries, nectarines,
Melons, muffins, chocolate treats,
Licorice or gummy sweets,
Ice cream, cookies, corn chips, bread,
Hummus, pesto, peppers (red),
Eggs and butter, IPA’s,
Pasta meant for many days,
Chicken, mushrooms, sometimes meat –
Think that makes my list complete.
(For omissions, I’m to blame
Since rhyme, not shopping, was my aim!)
*a fellow poet on Poetry Soup
Jesusita
God only had a daughter,
Jesuitta, whom he gave to teach us love.
She was a good little girl with blond, curly hair, and often helped her mother
with the washing up and other household chores.
As she grew up and became a shapely young woman,
she coveted by men, who could not grasp her preaching
of unconditional love was not about sex;
They began talking behind her back.
Rumors had it she had twelve lovers
there was talk of orgies with wine, fried fish, and fresh bread.
She went to the church, demanded to be heard, and asked why there were no women priests and why they let sleazy merchants sell overpriced artifacts.
The clerics, who had had enough of this noisy woman, told Pilatus to do something.
He first raped her and, to his shock, realized that Jesuitta was a virgin;
This knowledge haunted him for the rest of his life.
Nevertheless, he threw her to his Roman Legionnaires as a usual tart. And the men taunted her:
“Is this what you meant by calling love absolute,
they bawled.
Their women said nothing.
They put her on the cross as the semen of a thousand soldiers
ran down her legs, she died with forgiveness in her heart.
Leukemia boys and
Leukemia girls wave
in hospital volunteers,
as the angels wave
them away.
What is
love?
Beyond
an overpriced
ambulance ride,
and an unnecessary
hospital stay?
The most beautiful things:
summer sweat,
and Rome after
rain.
Inside,
a child draws
a yellow sun
with trembling fingers.
The IV, taped
down like it’s trying
to hold him
there.
Forced positivity.
A heart full of
apathy.
I see that
same world you try
to see with substance sober,
and I’ll be the first to tell you—
it isn’t a
blessing.
God has a
hand-grenade
smile, and it’s
hard to find
the grace
in that.
There’s
6 dead, 4 wounded,
and one on the
way.
What an
unimpressive
collection.
I served my hat, and boy I served it well
and everyone in the church could tell
everyone was able to taste, the full splendour of my hell.
All eyes dropped and even glasses fell.
even heaven rang a bell.
I served that hat and served it right
this was truly my delight
Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!! it was overpriced, and I will not and shall not wear it twice
I served it up nice and strong
even wore my matching thong
on my row, no one could hang
I'm a diva at top of my game.
I served my hat, and I began to slay
everyone new I didn't come to play
I'm a true mademoiselle
I served it so enchanted, it cast a spell
they all stepped back and let me by
I took no prisoners and this is why.
I aim to please and satisfy.
to all my ladies, you must comply
Serve that Hat straight to the sky.